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Movie date later on today.
I'm a little gunshy, but hopeful.
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For the first time in months I don't feel like I have to hold myself back from playing in traffic. I don't feel like questioning my existence or that i've lost my raison d'tre.
I've been feeling better. Still healing, but i'm smiling again.
We'll see what the remainder of 2012 holds for me, should still be a...
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We used to joke it would be cozy.
150 square foot cabin but we'd mostly
be asleep. But now you're floating so closely
I can see your fingers bloating, face is getting ghostly.
As I feed off the IV, I see
days go by, but they pass so slowly.
Adam and Eve, optimistic colonists, we
had such plans, watch 'em fadin' into mist...
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i'm not okay.
i'm in a very painful place right now and I have some major shit to adjust to.
as far as things go, however, i'm not entirely certain if i'm going to stay on SG right now. My account currently runs out on the 14th and I haven't decided whether or not I want to renew it.
its...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kaikai:
I'd love to keep in contact. xx
mercie:
I mean I can always find you on faceplace and whatnot. but did SG do something to you? I know all about major shit to adjust to : I'm very technically homeless, i dont have a job, everything I own is in my car, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do after this weekend (I have a place to sleep until then). SG is always a place of support if you ask for it. You're saying you're in pain, and if you need my help in any way that I can give it, I will... Just so you know hon.
I'm sending you a hug through the universe. A really big one.
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The dream is over.
After a year and a half my relationship with SugarCunt has come to an end.
I have nobody to blame but myself. I had made a series of promises that I consistently failed to follow through with. I am heartbroken, sleep deprived, and virtually starved. This has been a week of pure hell for me.
She is truly the one person...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
brightredscream:
I am so sorry sugar
brightredscream:
I wish I could give you that undo button
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I haven't been sleeping well at all lately. It's difficult for me to get to sleep and if I do, I wake up every few hours. Bad dreams, discomfort etc. Something will wake me.
I'm getting to the point where i'm scared to sleep because of the shit my brain runs through when I do.

I need a hug frown
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
elizadoolittle:
*hug*
mercie:
I'm sending you mental hugs from CT!!
and there's medication for your insomnia. Or it could be restless leg syndrome, that woke me up a lot for awhile. Go get something to help you sleep for now, like melatonin or any of these vitamins! If that doesn't work, get some friggin mary j or the hard rx stuff will knock you out lol. Drinking makes you wake up sporadically because of the spike in your blood sugar levels during the night/morning, and I'd avoid staring at the Chat or any computer monitors when you ARE woken up - read a book or magazine instead because the computer screen will keep you awake longer.

Don't you have fucking free healthcare in Canada?? Go use it!! Cripes. If only I had that shit... haha.
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Welp, problems ahoy.
Lots of personal shit happening right now, causing me a lot of stress. Worst thing is that when I stress I get panicky and just end up causing myself more stress.
Topping things off it looks like July might not happen. Her roommate has pulled some serious bullshit and decided to move out next month, which leaves her stuck with very few...
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cassy:
i hope you guys find a way to be together. i know being apart is a huge strain, trust me i'm living it right now myself so i can absolutely understand where you're coming from.
good luck.
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So it looks like i'm going to be hosting the ever lovely SugarCunt for a little while when she comes up in July (as we're currently planning it)
I haven't booked the time yet but am going to get that done tomorrow. Should be sometime from the 4th to the 13th. I am so retardedly excited already. As much as I love...
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teaghan:
Toronto is awesome!
Thats exciting.
cassy:
i hope you have a great trip.
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Worst fucking day today.
To start things off I woke up late, found I had missed some texts from SugarCunt last night when we were talking and I apparently fell asleep like a fucking asshole, broke a glass, was late for work, forgot my wallet and thusly had no money for lunch and smashed my shin into a trailer hitch. Sprinkle some serious asshole customers...
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Welp, that part about how I was gonna make sure this was the best visit ever? Yeah, that was a big failure on my part. I have no idea what the fuck my problem was, but I was being a pest and ended up putting myself in the doghouse pretty consistently. I did dumb annoying shit without thinking and only realised my mistakes with hindsight...
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brightredscream:
It's hard when the visits don't go as well as we'd like....

I'll be going back to being in a LDR soonish, and it makes me want to puke