Tuesday Mar 06, 2012

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I won't be around anymore if you ever need or want to hit me up or too read my thoughts...for there are so many ...

my Government name is Jurell Christopher Fitzgerald on face book
and my email is xxjcblackheartxx@gmail.com

I hope you all have a good one

http://xjcblackheartx.livejournal.com/
https://www.facebook.com/xxjcblackheartxx
that's my facebook since...
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lavezzaro:

yep, it redirects to your page, which has friend requests or messages disabled! You are making this difficult haha

If you go to https://www.facebook.com/LavezzaroPhotography/info under page owner there's a link to mine!

Stay well! x

psyche:

Why are you leaving, bro???

Saturday Mar 03, 2012

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Its 5:42am on a Saturday, a day that I would be relishing in extra sleep sadly this isn't the case. I awake to cold sweats and a panic in my mind. My dreams of Sunny will not stop. I've tried so often to to locate that button on that back of my head that would allow me turn off my mind, Unfortunately...
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Friday Feb 24, 2012

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Writing my thoughts have helped me with days like today. Maybe when i look back on them i won't repeat my previous mistakes time and time again. I for all that I have done positive to get my mind off of her am still in so much pain. Today work has been dragging by, I try hard to reach out to people in hopes...
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mydogfarted:

I hear ya. It would be nice to hear "Oh, you'll feel fine next Tuesday at 10pm".

kay:

kiss

Sunday Feb 19, 2012

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Time is going by pretty slowly ....Since all this has been happening ...I spend most of my days training working out and just trying to keep my mind off of my heartbreak....
I honestly for the first time in my life feel good about myself even amongst all the anguish i have been feeling...I can say that is truly a blessing. I've never...
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idgas:

What will your new MOS be?

Tuesday Feb 14, 2012

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I am getting better day by day, min by min, hour by hour....
I am learning my value as a man....
a good person
and a just all around good human being
i know i am more valuable then being someones affair or fling
much more valuable to then that
when i am done building myself into a fortress again, i'll be able to...
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otoki:

Yeah, you seem to jump right in because you fall for someone. Feelings are powerful, but you need to restrain yourself with logic, too. Substance abuse (alcoholism, any drugs besides weed) has always been a deal breaker for me because I have seen first-hand how much drama comes with that situation. Why go into a relationship where the drama is already evident? Drama will happen no matter who you're with, but the question is how much you want to set yourself up for. Take it slow, and most importantly THINK about the person. If you don't trust yourself, have them meet friends you trust who tend to have been critical of your previous picks who burned you.

missmalice_:

I love you JC, you're friendship has been so incredibly invaluable to me.

Monday Feb 13, 2012

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So she called me and proceeded to reprimand me....Jesus what a piece of work this girl is....after all the shit i put up with from her....
all the time I walked on egg shells....all the times i showed her unconditional love...and "I am being dramatic"
pain is different for everyone

I can't believe she did this....too me ...I can...
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otoki:

Dude. Take this as a lesson learned: stop going for girls with drama and baggage in their lives. If you can't be relaxed and yourself in the relationship it's not worth it.

psyche:

I'm not dating again lol this is that golddigger guy I was involved with, remember?

Saturday Feb 11, 2012

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I feel like the walking dead...It takes ever ounce strength i have in me to get up in the morning. I go out with friends I talk to people, but its always this zero hour that crushes me inside. I feel like my heart is garment and a million moths devour it continually. Being social provides me a modicum of relief but again It...
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idgas:

Take it day by day and try to not have contact with her. She is likely not coming back and you need to move on with a clean break. If she want to get back together she will find you.

Thursday Feb 09, 2012

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I would give anything in this world....too forget her right now
to stop hurting to stop crying
to stop caring about someone who's already moved well past me
I just want to stop living in pain for once in my life

I am never good enough i am never the one to get the girl in the end..
its never me and i...
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the_libertine:

Brother, this will pass. It will. Believe me.

Right now it hurts and it's supposed to. That's part of the healing process.. but this feeling isn't permanent. it's not.

You will get the girl in the end and it's going to be the right girl for you but that takes some time and some patience on your part. Don't think about women just now... focus on yourself and healing. Take the time it needs. Don't rush. Don't force it. Just let things be.

I'm here if you need an ear. Always.

idgas:

The feeling pass. Just hang in there.

Wednesday Feb 08, 2012

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Sunny is well on her way to West Virginia at this point....I hear so much through mutual friends about her future plans in life and how basically i've been erased from her existence in so many words... she has all these concerns i guess that i'll try and ruin her marriage....which I have no plans to nor would I put her...
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idgas:

Someday I will tell you about my one amazingly fucked up relationship. Yours was paradise in comparison to mine.

otoki:

That really sucks. Sorry, man.

Thursday Feb 02, 2012

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This has been the hardest 4 days of my life...just a week ago we were together and discussing a future now...I know that will not be and its so hard to accept...Knowing shes going back to her husband...after all we went through she still left me...and i tried the hardest that i could to show her unconditional love...i really...
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sbmick:

Keep your head up homie. Love fucking hurts sometimes. Don't be comparing yourself to people, thats how mafucca's get themselves twisted...ain't nothing wrong with you son..you just got the bad end of this. Positive vibes

mydogfarted:

One of my exes gave me the ring back, like it didn't even matter. We're friends now, but it took me 15 years to forgive her.

That being said, I managed to meet someone else shortly after, and we were together for 13 years.