All of us artist know that the bounce back is always higher and better than the previous bounce back. Hang in there, deep down inside you know it's worth it. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel too, I understand. I've got a lot of experience with this and am really starting to understand it. But understanding it requires a lot of self analysis, which can be painful in itself. But remember, the bounce back is always worth it.
When you acknowledge what the hell is wrong with you it's a lot easier to fix, but it's less pleasant because you have more on your plate. In my opinion, you've already gotten over the hard part regarding your emotional issues, minus new mistakes. Good luck!
Vice, I think you may very well be right about going to the source first. I have a friend with similar (parental) abandonment issues and what I noticed she subconsciously does as a tactic is start to arguing with people when she feels them starting to distance themselves from her. Many people tend to argue back, which is creating the illusion that they are "there" and not gone. True, they are "there" but not in positive form. I have more to say about this but I'd prefer to do it in private message, I don't want to overstep boundaries in this topic of conversation, in public. Say hey if you'd like to talk more about it.
One night at work these guys were filming a rap music video, and asked me if I would be in it because their models didn't show up. I said no because I didn't look like I belonged in a rap video... This was the result