im just tired of the people. burnt out on dealing with them. dont care of thier lack of faith. i dont want to please them. i dont care who or what kind of a person they think i am. its probably true. thier rules are king though. so i must obey. the only partial escape is to be clever. work around the walls, drop bombs...
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akathisia:
for some reason, i want to combine "filth" right now. How dirty is that? I feel this desire to bounce things off of people. Maybe that is just weak, that the ideas aren't strong enough on their own. I don't know. But i like a lot of things that i hear/see/etc from some people's heads right now....I think i still will be to anal to accept certain types of influence over my art. But i want to see how much control i can give up, no matter how uncomfortable and weird the process and still be happy with the result. This is an expiriment. Maybe it won't work, maybe i never could be happy with that compromisation. But interesting collision could result. I don't know yet.
catshit and broken zippers.
burning in my eye sockets.
awake, at three, in my box.
burning in my eye sockets.
awake, at three, in my box.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
akathisia:
He is probably punking over a toilet somewhere....that jesus really knows how to par-tay.
akathisia:
i know....i am not usually superstitious either. And i'm not really. Its more like, 'will i be able to hold out that long?' sometimes i still just feel like ending it all, even though i have no plans to do so. Thats so fake rock and roll sounding of me, but i don't know. I guess i am still entertain thoughts of death a lot without being serious.
lacking sleep.. ..drunk..
hating time..
sitting in a white box with an echo, makes
it more like how i feel with waiting for my
woman to get here.. draining, and isolated.
you can lose yourself forever in a small white
room you know..
sigh.. .. ...fuck.
i need another beer and some charcoal.
hating time..
sitting in a white box with an echo, makes
it more like how i feel with waiting for my
woman to get here.. draining, and isolated.
you can lose yourself forever in a small white
room you know..
sigh.. .. ...fuck.
i need another beer and some charcoal.
akathisia:
When i first read your comment i thought it said "lactating sleep". Thats a different type of image all together!
So why sit in a white box then? are you planning on drawing on the walls? or onpaper, and then putting it on the walls?
have you worked at you comic idea any? I thought it sounded interesting.
It was good to see you the other day. With the exception of this saturday since greg and i are already busy, we should do stuff on saturdays.......really!
So why sit in a white box then? are you planning on drawing on the walls? or onpaper, and then putting it on the walls?
have you worked at you comic idea any? I thought it sounded interesting.
It was good to see you the other day. With the exception of this saturday since greg and i are already busy, we should do stuff on saturdays.......really!
entry.
akathisia:
response.
akathisia:
So where are you finging the supplies for the glass for the brewing of the....of for the love of god. You know what i am talking about.
I have actually been wanting to learn to make beer as well, even though i am not a fan of most beer. But if you do it yourself, you can usually find something you'll like. Greg and i went to his co-workers birthday party......her brother in law is a hardcore homebrewer, and he had this really awesome wine made with cardamam, cinnamon, and lots of orange zest.....oh fuck it was good. Anyway, i'd love to brew, but look at our kitchen.....it is sad. Brewing can be messy too, so not an option in any of the carpeted rooms. And carbouys take up a lot of room. But man do i want to brew beer.
I have actually been wanting to learn to make beer as well, even though i am not a fan of most beer. But if you do it yourself, you can usually find something you'll like. Greg and i went to his co-workers birthday party......her brother in law is a hardcore homebrewer, and he had this really awesome wine made with cardamam, cinnamon, and lots of orange zest.....oh fuck it was good. Anyway, i'd love to brew, but look at our kitchen.....it is sad. Brewing can be messy too, so not an option in any of the carpeted rooms. And carbouys take up a lot of room. But man do i want to brew beer.
why is it so easy to sit around and do absolutely nothing?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
akathisia:
Argh, sorry i didn't contact you sooner! I hope you get this message on time. I think being to my house around 6:30 would be good.....i might try to go a little early to help Dylan with anything, if he needs. If this is impossible please contact me somehow......i will be out of the house for a while but should have my cell phone on me, and i will check my email and my journal on here later this afternoon.
OK, much loves.
-LEslie
OK, much loves.
-LEslie
akathisia:
Yes, i would be so into the venture of which yu speak, but my lack of knowledge regarding anything scientific is no help whatsoever.
I've never seen free scientific glass. Greg and i could help out a little bit financially, at least ti think he would be into that.
mmmmm........
just imagining possible future absinthe made by you.....awesome.......
I actually liked the party, but it was sort of silly.....i get "peopled out" really fast in situations like that. i suck. people were rediculous. it was fun but a little much for me. i loved the attempted guitar, accordion, digeridoo collaboration.
Ok.......i'll talk to you later. if you would like to hang out some evening, that would be awesome....i don't have a day off until friday, but you could always come over late if you had the time, but i wouldn't expect too much that you would.
Ok, love,
-Leslie
I've never seen free scientific glass. Greg and i could help out a little bit financially, at least ti think he would be into that.
mmmmm........
just imagining possible future absinthe made by you.....awesome.......
I actually liked the party, but it was sort of silly.....i get "peopled out" really fast in situations like that. i suck. people were rediculous. it was fun but a little much for me. i loved the attempted guitar, accordion, digeridoo collaboration.
Ok.......i'll talk to you later. if you would like to hang out some evening, that would be awesome....i don't have a day off until friday, but you could always come over late if you had the time, but i wouldn't expect too much that you would.
Ok, love,
-Leslie
nothing quite new.. ..found out that the people who have helped me thus far with the officer-naval career, almost got me into the wrong direction. i suppose it was fairly obvious that education would be the correct path, but you just want to trust these people.. oh well. too bad they dont have another grunt.
what i want for christmas? i want a shirt that...
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what i want for christmas? i want a shirt that...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
akathisia:
OK, now i am dreaming of cookies......drool drool drool 
YAY!
Tomorrow night i am working ten hours until 9:30pm, so by the time i walk home i think i will be too tired to do anything. Plus greg and i are getting up early to go finish applying for foodstamps, we still have to go through the "interview" and basically if we don't get there when they open (9am)or soon after, there is no chance they will see us. Ho Hum.
Anyway. Tomorrow is overwhelming. So is Tuesday......Tuesday is "owner sale day" which is like ultimate busy sale hell at the co-op, and i am also working like 8 hours, then greg and i are going to our friend Riddles house for game night (we had planned to go for a while) and it will probably go late and then i will die instead of falling asleep. Then i will ressurect myself for Wednesday morning, since Dylana is coming over to be crafty with me at some undisclosed random time which i'm sure even i won't know about unitl she gets here! The afternoon on Wed looks openish but then Katy comes over between 9:30 and 10:00. Then i go to bed, then i work Thurs. Thursday night might be a good time to hang out. Even though some of this week may be fun i am feeling stressed just thinking about it.
I will still be on the computer for a few more minutes......still responding to peoples journals. I am kinda depressed right now. Not even looking at porn. I am weird.
Love ya!
-Leslie
YAY!
Tomorrow night i am working ten hours until 9:30pm, so by the time i walk home i think i will be too tired to do anything. Plus greg and i are getting up early to go finish applying for foodstamps, we still have to go through the "interview" and basically if we don't get there when they open (9am)or soon after, there is no chance they will see us. Ho Hum.
Anyway. Tomorrow is overwhelming. So is Tuesday......Tuesday is "owner sale day" which is like ultimate busy sale hell at the co-op, and i am also working like 8 hours, then greg and i are going to our friend Riddles house for game night (we had planned to go for a while) and it will probably go late and then i will die instead of falling asleep. Then i will ressurect myself for Wednesday morning, since Dylana is coming over to be crafty with me at some undisclosed random time which i'm sure even i won't know about unitl she gets here! The afternoon on Wed looks openish but then Katy comes over between 9:30 and 10:00. Then i go to bed, then i work Thurs. Thursday night might be a good time to hang out. Even though some of this week may be fun i am feeling stressed just thinking about it.
I will still be on the computer for a few more minutes......still responding to peoples journals. I am kinda depressed right now. Not even looking at porn. I am weird.
Love ya!
-Leslie
akathisia:
Mmmm, doesn't Siv have the neatest tattoos ever? I just like her so much but have never known what to say to her. hmmmm social awkwardness.
Is your sister hear already?
I am getting a headache. Going to bed now. Love,
-Leslie
Is your sister hear already?
I am getting a headache. Going to bed now. Love,
-Leslie
hey leslie.. ..i dont have anything to say. i have been looking at screens all day. i did ride out the the farm today, and worked a bit pulling color, but came home and did nothing for the rest of the day. there goes my weekend. yay.
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trustpixellust:
sir patric le ugly face
fill this empty space... ..anything.
sounds so scrambled, static interference.
doesn't really matter, in this dusty white
light. inside-asylum white room, only six
walls. i keep calling out, but the rining
only echoes in another empty box..
..a study with no books, nothing left
for the flames to consume..
~
sounds so scrambled, static interference.
doesn't really matter, in this dusty white
light. inside-asylum white room, only six
walls. i keep calling out, but the rining
only echoes in another empty box..
..a study with no books, nothing left
for the flames to consume..
~
trustpixellust:
oh christ... ..must i always misspell something?
akathisia:
You may edit it, you know? Go to the little pink square at the top right of the page. Click on update. Then under the update and edit you r journal section, click on the journal entry you want to edit.....the delete the offending misspelling......
I left you a Testes-moan-eel. Whee!
Greg and i went to my parents, i giot 50 dollars as a christmas present to go towards rent....i so suck.
Before that i did the craft circle thing at interzone today but nobody showed up. Sigh...all i want to do right now is nothing but i don't even know if that is going to work....i am so full of nervous energy. Maybe i need to dance around and take pictures of myself until i am tired. I mean seriously what else can i do? I don't WANT to do anything but i am bored and antsy and don't know how to reconcile those sorts of things together.....why can't my emotions just all get along?!?!?
I left you a Testes-moan-eel. Whee!
Greg and i went to my parents, i giot 50 dollars as a christmas present to go towards rent....i so suck.
Before that i did the craft circle thing at interzone today but nobody showed up. Sigh...all i want to do right now is nothing but i don't even know if that is going to work....i am so full of nervous energy. Maybe i need to dance around and take pictures of myself until i am tired. I mean seriously what else can i do? I don't WANT to do anything but i am bored and antsy and don't know how to reconcile those sorts of things together.....why can't my emotions just all get along?!?!?I remembered Les.. feel special!
So, what did I do today? Went to work,
had a luncheon with an old friend, went
back to work, got paid, went to the bank,
put money in my account, went home,
took a nap, woke up, went into town,
emptied my account, went to my aunts,
went home, fixed up my bike, went for a
ride, visited friends,...
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So, what did I do today? Went to work,
had a luncheon with an old friend, went
back to work, got paid, went to the bank,
put money in my account, went home,
took a nap, woke up, went into town,
emptied my account, went to my aunts,
went home, fixed up my bike, went for a
ride, visited friends,...
Read More
akathisia:
What is your profile photo from? Thats really cool looking....a passion flower?
I am tired but i don't want to sleep yet. I wish we could have hung out longer....well....later this week, i swear, the Scrabble will be on!
Here is the part where i show you many ladies with rings instead of bars......whoooo!!!
This entry will be.....huge. Muah ha ha!!!!
Just because i had to! Nothing to do with nipple rings actually!
OK She just has one - does that count?
I have always thought this lady looks like if Nicole Kidman went gothic....
apparently she also only has one....another half point....
Uhhhhh......whoa lotsa rings maybe.
We know who listens to too much too dark park.
.......
whoa!
Enough is enough already......
-Slie
I am tired but i don't want to sleep yet. I wish we could have hung out longer....well....later this week, i swear, the Scrabble will be on!
Here is the part where i show you many ladies with rings instead of bars......whoooo!!!
This entry will be.....huge. Muah ha ha!!!!
Just because i had to! Nothing to do with nipple rings actually!
OK She just has one - does that count?
I have always thought this lady looks like if Nicole Kidman went gothic....
apparently she also only has one....another half point....
Uhhhhh......whoa lotsa rings maybe.
We know who listens to too much too dark park.
.......
whoa!
Enough is enough already......
-Slie
akathisia:
Hi, goodmorning. did you get any sleep whatsoever? I am just awake barely, slightly crusty around the eyes, still trying to figure out what to do before i go to work. I hope you do end up at work alright today. Despite us fucking up your work schedule, i really want to hang out again and stuff. I check this site more than my email now....heheh so if you would let me know what day is best for you to hang out.
love,
-Leslie
so if you would let me know what day is best for you to hang out.
love,
-Leslie