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Don't make me come over there.

c m r ducks?
m r not ducks.
o s m r. c m r wings?
l i b! m r ducks!

Fucked if I ain't tellin' the truth. Today I called this guy a mother fucker. Then he introduced me to his girlfriends daughter. I think I may have laughed my fucking ass off. My universe...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
necia:
Hey! Happy birthday! kiss
apostrophenow:
happy fuckin' tryptophan day

wish you were here, so I could throw a football at your head wink
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Hello kids.

I've been offline for a while. Did you know that if you don't pay your phone bill, Bellsouth won't let you call people? It's insane! However, I seem to be struggling my way back up from destitution and my phone service has been returned. Now, if only I could get my credit card reactivated!
And maybe even pull my...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
little_sister:
Why do you not have any pictures of yourself posted? Just wondering. I'm sitting at my computer trying to send pictures to my account but my camera phone is not cooperating. whatever
little_sister:
I think I heard you on the radio requesting a song a few days ago. On 93.3 I heard someone talking about a pet rat, (did you get another one?) then they played "Lithium" by Nirvana. smile
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FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!

Well, y'know, sort of cool anyway. What's sort of cool? Hardly a damn thing. I'm flat broke. Thank god I have a job. I am eating egg rolls. Fancy mixed nuts are good for the soul. My happiness feels like a seizure. I'm all twitchy and I make funny noises. I drool. I shit. I squabble with the chickens...
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necia:
I really like this "yo mammy" theme you seem to have been maintaining lately.

Like, a lot.
huntersmencken:
Leyner, peace be upon him, must have gone back to copy writing, when he's not writing books about men's nipples.

For a guy so talented and influential, one might suppose he'd be more polific and famous.
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HANDCREAM!!! Splody fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Yup.

I am officially losing my mind again. Why can't I stop this from happening? I get a month or two of comfort and clarity and then WHAM! I'm spinning off though some hallucinatory rosebush screaming, clenching and grinding my teeth, shaking my head hard to spill out some of...
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huntersmencken:
Indeed! Leyner is a font of lyric goodness and I do my best to be his evangalist. I've got a Team Leyner ball cap, stickers for my laptop, and even Team Leyner pj's! tongue
necia:
No, but I do have all of the necessary ingredients for a Tequila Sunrise. Those chill me out. wink
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Oh my god my world is ending. Wait, what? Fuck that. I'm having a BALL!! Did I tell you folks I drive a cop car now? It's a retired highway patrol car (crown victoria) which I got at a police auction for a fiew grand. It runs great, kicks ass, makes the people in front of me slow down, and eats dinosaurs like...
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pavlovsdog:
My parents have a Crown Vic. It's amusing getting behind people with it.
morgan:
Awww, thank you!
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I went to a party the other day. It was sort of a dull party, but there were some very interesting women lurking amidst the others so I decided to hone my impeccable woman impressing technologies. Do you want to know how many of these selected women gave me their very close attention (non-sexual, you jerks. I'm saving myself at the moment)? All of...
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acarr:
How did I do what? And I don't know how you recognized me.
gory:
Isn't the power of enchantment fun??

I always like it at first...you know, 'that' feeling (C'mon, we ALL do it...), and then you get free drinks, and then maybe a fight or two...It's GREAT! The only problem is DIS-enchanting them...I mean, Sure, I can disenchant thier whole fucking existance in under a minute, but really, How do you get rid of them, and even more important? How do you get rid of the people they never told you they were married to either?

And then that leads to even MORE females with thier female polarities go friggin nuts on my head and want to murder me, then I gotta do something, then they gotta do something...it is all quite tiring in the end just to get some in the end...

But Hey!! When you are a strapping young lad?

Its ALLLLLLLLLLLL good...right? (I take it you were easy on them and made sure that they really didnt have to talk much...wink )

Still workin on the 'Spilling of The Beans' (Man, I don't know how to do THAT!)

Il nominos, yog-sothoth, and thy wilt, and all that...

skull
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She comes back from the goat farm soon! I have been vigorously practicing my woman wooing technologies on all available women. Some have swooned, many have been amused, a fiew have been utterly unimpressed. In which form shall my favorite goat milking lady friend manifest? Send me your prayers, friends, or send me your dollars. If she does love me not, I shall wank my...
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flux:
I tried to get my high school to get me an internship on a goat farm.

But, yeah, cicadas. Gorgeous.
necia:
Seducing goatfarm women?!?

That's sweet as hell. I'll send you all my sexiest sex appeal vibes.

My spare ones, anyway. I'll need to keep a few for myself; I'm sure you understand. But any and all in excess of the necessary minimum shall be sent to you, in the hopes of assisting your wooing of this goat-milking vixen.
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BOO!!! Gotcha!

My new job is as good as could be hoped for. I'm a prep cook at a very cool place, working with good people, making good pay (buying bling, of course). I can't complain.

I've added an aim account, so you may now talk to me in real time if you feel excited to do so. Won't that be...
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gory:
No...no...lol.

I HAVE seen it, I love it, although I was referring to the part that was based on Paganini, the infamous Violinist who was known to have a violin, and talent to go with, that was given to him in a pact, something that they admitted was the basis for 'that' story in The Red Violin....

And Yeah, Paganini is a true tale...Google it, and seeing The Red Violin will take on a whole new meaning...(Seriously, Paganini is THEE guy who the whole 'Devil Vs. Violinist' story....Plus? He is a fantastic Violinist, and he was, chastisized and accused of being in covenance with the Devil...Just like good ol Grandier and Loudon.)

I am quite positive it is now familiar to you...(C'mon, we ALL know THAT tale.)

Interesting discussion goin on, thinking of 'Spillin the Beans'....(Now that it is back to Private, But still...Man, I don't think Ill name any names to protect myself, wink )

Oh! and I was just bein cheeky bout that Kitchen stuff....I actually know more than I thought I would ever know bout Kitchens cause my roomate is a chef..(well, line cook, whatever...) I know there are still some fine people in the food industry.


skull
gory:
HaHa...THATS where you are mistaken, my fine feathered Fiend!

My mama is dead, so I would say that YOU were complainin about the alleged 'Squishiness' you speak of...

Hope she made yer...um....'thing'?

tongue

skull
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How can I stop being such a complete goddamn misanthrope? This game is getting old. I have things to do, and the sick feeling I get in my stomach whenever I consider going out amongst human kind keeps me at home. I was at a bar yesterday, a pair of friends dragged me there against my will. The people there were physically disgusting (aside from...
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apostrophenow:
When I was a lad, I was often scolded by my father for being cold, cruel and distant.

As the years progressed, I tempered these traits into a pointed attitude which amounted to a general contempt for life itself. Strangely enough, this didn't really put much of a crimp on my social life. The dregs of humanity seemed to flock to me. However, it must be said: junkies will give you fleas and, of course, there is no honor among thieves.

As I have grown older, I have mellowed quite a bit. I had to. I learned the hard way that hating is physically and mentally bad for me. I now practice a form of "professional detachement" from people. I don't talk much and I seldom smile. Except when I'm really high or intoxicated. Balance and a grudging nod toward moderation is the key.
affy:
thanks!