superficial

The only stupid thing I ever did in past relationships is get stepped on. When you find the "it" girl it's fucking magic. Hard to do though. Took me a while.

hey

ive got my computer hooked up.
its too bad i missed you tonight but i
cant wait till our next chat.

Al buen entendedor
pocas palabras basta.

-Lindsey

thanks, Hope to get you to smile too. maybe the drinking part might help.

I find myself thinking of you at least once a day and send you good positive energy. That's kind of weird, because we don't post that often to each other. But, when I first came across you and started reading your posts, I felt like we are kindred spirits. I connect with so much of what you say.

Sorry your night of numbing didn't happen. All I can offer is a e-hug to you. *HUG*

Goodnight.

Still thinkin about ya, dude
Chin up, and take care!

And i hope you get that job too!

[Edited on Sep 30, 2003]

yay! i am so happy you did well on the interview!! i hope it all works out! when someone asks me that question i usually say "no i understood everything", so they feel they did a good job with the interview, and they see that you listen and understand what they are saying. i dont know, thats my stupid logic. of course when it actually comes time for it, i freeze up and say "uh...no" lol. go me.

as for my day, i got a tattoo today! its so hot. i will have to post some pictures soon and i am so excited about the care bear!!!

have you ever thought of maybe just emailing her as a friend? just to be like hey how are you? but making sure its not like a "i want you back" kind of email? this all depends on when you guys broke up though. if it was very recent, i would wait a while, just cause its too hard and all that. maybe you can find out how she is doing through friend if you are really worried. but if its been a while then email her. my bf and his ex email eachother all the time now, just to see how they are doing. they waited like a year though. but i feel that no matter what, that person will always have a connection to you and you will always care about them one way or another. so just keep it peaceful by being kinda friends. but then this is all coming from a person in a non monogamous relationship hehe (not my choice though)

LOL this has to be my longest comment to a journal entry in history!!!! your a very special person cause i usually do like one liners! but i am a big relationship person, so you will always find me talking so in depth about this shit. i am also a hopeless romantic

sorry for the novel. i'm so glad your day went fairly well

Blue-

Blue, songs are like tattoos
You know i've been to sea betore
Crown and anchor me
Or let me sail away
Hey blue, here is a song for you
Ink on a pin
Underneath the skin
An empty space to fill in
Well there're so many sinking now
You've got to keep thinking
You can make it thru these waves
Acid, booze, and ass
Needles, guns, and grass
Lots of laughs, lots of laughs
Everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go
Well i don't think so
But i'm gonna take a look around it though
Blue, i love you

Blue, here is a shell for you
Inside you'll hear a sigh
A foggy lullaby
There is your song from me

-Joni Mitchell

This song makes me happy and always helps me back on my feet.

~Lindsey

Hold on...3 other friends, for a grand totoal of four?...ok, if i count my cd player I have two friends...one if I can't count relatives...and that one is electronic. I am envious.

I totally should have gone back to the record store to talk with that girl, but...insert poor, sad excuse here... I guess I figure that A) she is WAY out of my league, B) she get hit on ALL the time at work and I really don't want to be THAT guy.

thank you for your sweet words. I am still down so I might take you up on your offer. so thanks, really.

self confidence is inside you right now, I know that sounds a bit cliche. But you are adorable, very nice, and I decided to keep you around, so I added you as a friend. I hope that helps bring it out a little bit.

Why don't you deserve to have self confidence? anyone who is that open and honest definately deserves to feel good about themselves.

*sends you mental e-love*
hey lovely.
i hope all is well!
congrats with that interview.
and GOOD LUCK!

yeah that girl, sheneeds an attitude adjustment and maybe a swift kick to her arse!

hurry and move to ny!
you can be my show buddy.

I don't know what made me think of that song...I guess I can just relate...I go through the same "swings" but now they are not quite as intense...I would go through the cycle in a minute...angry, sad as shite, happy, etc...pretty manic, no? But now, I will suddenly find myself really down and when I take a second I realize that it is because of her. I guess I have gotten over the whole "world-crashing-down-around-me" stage and now I am just lonely without her. I miss having someone with whom I shared secrects...some who knew me better than anyone else on earth...someone who was the most important thing in my life...I am still trying to deal with that void...

Go to NYC!!!

I lived in the village most of the summer, on Bleeker. Much fun! Very expensive though.

Good luck & HI btw.

[Edited on Sep 26, 2003]

When the love of my life and I broke up (8 years ago), I was a complete mess. I knew that we weren't meant to be, that I'd be better off without him, etc. The worst part of it was that we were together so long that he wasn't just a boyfriend, he was my best friend that I shared everything with. I was not only losing a boyfriend (who I thought I was going to settle down with), but also my best friend.

What I did after he moved out was write letters to him that I knew that I'd never send. I wanted to call him so many times that it was physically painful. I thought I was really going to die of a broken heart. After about two weeks of spilling my uncensored feelings into these letters. I noticed that I started writing less and less and it was becoming annoying to take time out to focus my energy on thinking of him.

It was kind of like that cartoon (Porky Pig?) when the nephew wants to smoke so Porky makes him smoke a ton of cigarettes thus making him so sick that he didn't want to smoke anymore.

It's so difficult to move on when a person has been so woven into your daily life, but I am living proof that it can be done. He still crosses my mind once in a while, but it doesn't cause the longing or pain that it used to. I just think about what I learned about myself in that relationship and that I now know what I DON'T want for future relationships. It's become a positive thing for me now.

Stay strong. I will send you good thoughts and emtional hugs. I'm here if you ever want/need to vent. I mean that.

i'm glad you are feeling a bit better

talking to friends always seems to help

That has happened to me so many times, it sucks. What really pisses me off aswell about writing a long journal entry that goes missing, is when you've spent a lot of extra time fucking about putting links in to pics or different url's etc . Thats why i now get into the habbit of right clicking, highlighting all the text, and copying to clipboard before i hit that damn submit button! I still sometimes frget though if i'm dead excited and really keen to update my journal with something

Anyway, good luck and all the best mate. Life's a bitch sometimes but you gotta be strong.