in the buff

4

modeling tonight ...a little nervous since I have not modeled much since the bike accident. And me---being the type A personality that I am- have already choreographed the moves and they are difficult. Why do I put myself through the ringer?? hope you all are doing well...

lucerne:

Good luck! You'll do great :)

shelbs22:

@lucerne ..  Thanks.. I really appreciate your encouragement..Sending you the same!!  Hope you have a wonderful rest of the week...it is so nice being connected to you..:)

to shave or not to shave

0

o.k. I am an art figure model and am hairy..I have shaved my body hair off--all of it- many times. I have a gig in less than a week and it has grown back...how many think I should shave it off or keep it?? I am sort of lost. I want my figure to be seen clearly yet I want the manly...
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shelbs22:

Will do!! :) Thanks!!

shelbs22:

@usagimomo  will do!!

tears

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tears...tears..tears...the love that was...the love that isn't...the abuse that is present..the love that is longed for all bring------ tears...tears....tears...

letting go

4

I have decided to let go of a lot...Let go of pursuing woman, let go of hating myself for being a nude model, let go of hating my life in general....just let it go and accept with gratitude the joy of being alive, human, and able to choose to leave behind habits that only serve to hurt my self and others.

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gordonramsher:

Glad I can help someone as cool as you! I mean really, how awesome is teaching yoga? I just know that you'll be fine. *hugs*

shelbs22:

@gordonramsher...love!!

tears

1

Sometimes out of the blue I start crying, feeling hurt and pain that seeps through when I am not aware. I could be anywhere, like soup boiling over they come out pf my pot of pain So many thoughts-like trying to hide them, or giving into them, or stuffing them--but after I feel the pain,and the the tears-- I feel better and more whole...

teaching Yoga

5

Starting to teach Yoga is mind blowing..so much to know..so much to understand and incorporate into a way of life. But I love it!! Remember to practice self love and compassion for your selves. It is so easy to judge our selves harshly, or berate our abilities. It all starts with the act of embracing your self ,holding your self with love, and...
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hello

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i'm sort of down..needing a lift..anyone care to help me?? Need some emotional support...thanks

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lucerne:

I hope you're feeling better by now x

shelbs22:

@Lucerne....  I am...and working hard to stay positive and happy..I'm learning that "being happy" does not just happen. Like anything else it takes practice, commitment ,and intention to make"happiness" manifest.  So much of my life was traumatic..now I am trying to change those patterns. Sending joy and happiness to you Lucerne..You inspire me more than you know..:) And your support means sooo much to me..:) Happy we are friends!!

hello

1

i'm sort of down..needing a lift..anyone care to help me?? Need some emotional support...thanks

shelbs22:

@magali  Thanks!!

feelings

3

Feel like a cast off shadow that no one wants to claim anymore..

I used to be worn by elegant woman to make sharp contrast to their pale, soft skin-

I was the dark outline of their eye shadow..

The abyss of their luscious mouths that lovers reached into with their lips and tongues-

But now I am the darkness in the corner that everyone...
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shmoogy:

There is always a new opportunity waiting.

shelbs22:

@shmoogy  :) So true!!

feeling blue

0

Today was awesome-

tonight is all tired...

muscles recoiling from ballet and yoga and biking in the cold snow.

looking for completion on the computer screen,

I bow in submission to the blinding light of the web-

finally I come back to who I am--

and turn it off and find my hollow self.

where do I go from here??

to bed, to food, to...
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