reprobate

So, do I get the very good messenger bag with the exceedingly gay seat belt buckle strap, or the not as good bag that advertises its volume in how much beer it will hold?

I discovered Tom Waits (not that he was exactly missing) seventeen odd years ago while touring as a circus roustabout, which is, I suppose, about as apt as you can get. If my driving partner were forced to choose between rescuing her boyfriend or her copy of Swordfishtrombones from a burning building I suspect her SO would have been on his own, and we listened...
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Note to self:

Before closing flip face helmet, remove key from mouth.

Ouch.

Days like today make me wish pillaging was still a viable career option.

...but thank God I ain't old...

Awww, look honey, the frogs are fucking.

A rant, in one act.

I live in a very broken city. Our streetlights don't work. The power goes out randomly. Our gangbangers have PTSD. We're not so Big or so Easy no more, and thats fine for me. It is not however, fine for some people. Lots of people are leaving, heading for higher ground, better schools and places where they don't have to...
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Today I discovered that Crayolas and barbecue tongs make dandy ersatz plumbing tools.

I miss my mohawk.

"No, sir, we're a preservation organization, we protect old buildings, I'm afraid we can't help your "girlfriend" with her prostitution and crime against nature charges, sorry."

Nothing like a wrong number from a pimp to liven up a Monday morning.

Interestingly, crimes against nature (read: blowjobs) are still illegal in Louisiana if you get them or give them for money. The Supreme Court has ruled...
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So, apparently, the assailant in my neighborhood shooting is sixteen years old, and...

...wait for it...

...shot the same guy, in the same place last year.


In more pleasant news, it turns out that barren and denuded neutral grounds are perfect for bocce.

Dig the new style, New Orleans.

So, in the space of five minutes I was informed that friends of mine have more or less lost everything owing to the Susquehanna deciding to pay a visit to most of central New York, and there was a shooting five blocks from my house.

Enough.

Please?