rectum

The details often change but the dream remains the same for the most part.... I think I am going to find a group of happy children and their disgusting parents and start bludgeoning myself to death in front of them.

feh

young kids today are significatly more stoned than their forefathers.

so dad was all: "What do you want to do with your life?!?!?!?"

and I was all: "I wanna suck cock!!!!!!!!"

Then I realized I wanted to say "I wanna rock" but it was too late.

Have a miserable new year you worthless fucks.

I hate you.

One time I was masturbating outside a bar in Capitola. A Police officer shined his light into the alley and found me with my pants down. I explained that I was taking a leak. For my troubles, the officer gave me a lecture about how I could be charged with a sex crime, how I'd have to register as a sex offender in every county....
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my penis doesn't work!!! when I hit it with a hammer it doesn't squeak anymore.

My dick is a time machine and masturbation is the on/off switch.

Most people don't know it, but today is the international citrus fruit celebration day. Remember that you only have a few days to eat lightly before stuffing yourself during the holidays. So tonight, instead of having a Mars bar as a snack, eat a lemon or an orange.

There are more details at lemonparty.org

Go to the Bob's T-Girls site and you will see shemales 100x hotter than any biological woman. Why is that? What is it about them that makes me so hard?

I always considered myself straight, but a lot of the Latina trannies and especially Brazilian ones are hotter than real women. It's so bad that I pick women up and fuck them from behind and...
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Last night while I was asleep my boner developed a simple method for calculating vector coupled sums.