Monday Mar 21, 2005

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Hello. Journal is happening.

I finished my play this last weekend and it went quite well. First play in three years. My mom came to see it and loved it, as she does all my shows. Pretty much everybody I know in Seattle came to see it in fact. Since most of these people have never actually seen me DO anything, it was very very...
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moya:

Happy Birthday! biggrin kiss

june:

Hello
Haven't heard from you in ages.

Thursday Feb 17, 2005

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I have such a short attention span. Time will come when I'm spending more time on this site, but I don't know when that will be. The tricky bit is: I'm in a play, and it's a very short rehearsal time. About a month to memorize all my dialogue and rehearse it, plus the screenplay is nearing complete first draft form...
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moya:

Pictures would rock! smile Hopefully someone did catch a few.

Napoleon and his brother both reminded me of myself.. 'Don't be jealous I've been online talking to hot babes all day..' Hah..erm..yea.. blush I'm a loser. It rocks. biggrin

freckle:

you have to apply for the group before i can let you in! link

Monday Jan 31, 2005

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Sorry about the delay. I'm not used to being busy. Now that I have a whole bunch of products, it's harder and harder to go online and futz around.

The stand-up went great. I was paralyzingly nervous going into it. I must have visited the bathroom five times in the twenty minutes before my set, because my bladder and anxiety don't get...
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moya:

I hope all is going well. smile

moya:

You should really come back soon.. I still hope nothing happened.. kiss

Wednesday Jan 26, 2005

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Tonight will be the first time doing stand-up comedy. I'm taking a comedy class, basically just to get me some courage and make me go through with it. It only met three times, so it's not like it could have made a huge difference in my act. Thank goodness I had already written some jokes before I signed up. It did let me...
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moya:

You do stand up comedy? That is so awesome! I'm sure you'll do great, but good luck anyway! biggrin. I do stand up comedy every minute of my life almost, so if I could help you, I would, but I can't tongue. I'm just keeding. But really, I am funny..lol. Maybe just a dork instead. I'm sure tomorrow you'll be alive and well and feeling great about tonight. biggrin

Bring back plunder..that got me laughing smile. It sounds like alot of fun, though I've never picked a pocket before tongue. Well..ah, nevermind biggrin. Anyway. I cost a dollar. Not to throw anyone off budget, but hey, I am quite the costly princess. whatever smile Though, you're waaaay in the opposite direction I was hoping of going. Like, left, not right. confused Well, it's like that when looking at the map anyway tongue.

june:

WELL?
How did it go?
Please tell me you didn't
die from stage-fright eeek

Friday Jan 21, 2005

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My mother is in the hospital, having fluid removed from her right lung through a drain. Today, a resident will be putting talc in there to build up some scar tissue and help prevent fluid from building up again. The fluid makes it hard to breathe. The talc is going to hurt.

I can barely remember how to feed myself most days, so I am...
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moya:

Thank you. I'll look into that!

I'm so very sorry about your mother. If it helps at all, someone who has been like a second mother to me has just found out she has multiple sclerosis; I know there's a huge difference between the two (issues), and that the situations are developing differently, but nonetheless, once a problem arises, it puts everything into a new perspective. I cannot say I understand/know how you feel, because I'm not you; I will say you're not completely alone when dealing with a dire issue like that. The MS isn't bad at all, but for the future..who knows. We're all putting our complete faith into what science/medical research has done so far, and what it can do to treat the disease for as long as possible, and keep it from taking over her life.

You may feel inadequate, but atleast there are still some decent people out there who are willing to help take care of her; it sounds like she'd be in great care. As for the present, I can only hope things go well, and as they're supposed to, and that you both stay strong as best as you can. The pain will go away someday, though it's impossible to say when. I'm here if you need to talk. kiss

Monday Jan 17, 2005

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What is the first thing you think of when you hear the name "Atticus"?
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moya:

I wasn't aware that eating fast caused them.. But I get them at work too, and I don't eat the entire day..and..manage to hiccup loud enough to make everyone think I had a few drinks at lunch.. shocked But I suppose when I do wolf things down, that could help make them happen.. Hm. Note to self: Spread snacking sessions out more biggrin oink

junko:

an owl.

Sunday Jan 16, 2005

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About time I update this silly thing. Honestly, I don't have anything to say, but I'm sick of the Zelda bit already.

My mother, who was coming in today from Juneau, Alaska, is being kept home by a snowstorm. In Juneau, planes are often delayed by snow or fog. Too bad. She's coming here for medical reasons, and she may have to...
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moya:

That's awesome. Our carpet is really soft, too! It just sucks when you wake up, and try to sit up immediately, and hit your head. Thank god I have a hard skull.

I hope your mother makes it there safely, and doesn't have to reschedule. That's usually a hassle, or it is here anyway. I've never flown, but I know I'd be insanely paranoid if I had to get on a plane, even after a snowstorm or fog. eeek

Saturday Jan 15, 2005

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All right. I'm feeling much better, thanks, now that I've sent my first twenty pages of screenplay off to my friend. So I've indulged myself with a bit of Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, in which our hero Link finds a smart-ass hat that makes him shrink, and gets to see a gypsy dancer's underwear.

The very first Zelda was...
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moya:

Fortunately, through all my silliness and insane amount of perversion, I can be really serious. I believe it is something not many people can do, much less at the same time (if that makes sense). I guess I'm just seriously fucking funny. shocked

It was the Milwaukee Art Museum! The Museum, I'm told, was what put Milwaukee 'on the map'. Because it moves, and it's supposed to look like a whale, or bird, or something animal-like. That room you described sounds interesting.. I think if any of us had laid on the bed at the Museum, we'd have gotten kicked out right away. Damn assholes, trying tp protect artwork and shit.

Zelda! Yay! Zelda rocks my world. Ever see Drawn Together? biggrin tongue eeek wink 'Xandir' as they call him (Link).. teehee!

moya:

The first time I saw Drawn Together, I laughed harder than I have in months. It's hilarious. I hope they release the dvd of the first season soon. The Gay Bash was awesome. biggrin

So I'm not the only one who sleeps under coffee tables?! Or are you just trying to make me feel cooler than I already am!? biggrin wink

Friday Jan 14, 2005

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Today, I ate two pieces of cold roast chicken, some Sweet Maui Onion flavored potator chips, a hard-boiled egg that had grown stone cold after I forgot about it for three hours, a packet of Picante Beef flavored ramen, a banana, some Satsuma Mandarin oranges, and three glasses of wine. I can almost feel the bits of my brain that are undernourished, as though my...
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roethke:

It is both hilarious and awesome that you are the first person to recognize that as a REn & Stimpy quote.

moya:

The difficulty is that once you start becoming a hermit, it gets harder and harder to stop the process.
I'm a hermit. A bitch hermit, as some say. Last night, as I said, was my first night out in almost forever. I stay mostly in my room and on the computer. I rarely talk to people at school. Not worth my time, though.

That makes me so hungry. I think it's time for roast beef flavored ramon noodles. And, there are many forms of rhetoric other than similes you can work with. And more fun, too. biggrin

I can't exactly describe the taste. It's one of those things you just can't identify and/or put a name to, for the life of oneself. I'll figure it out someday, and then I'll let you know.
Besides loving the sunset, I found a few pieces that I stared at/listened to for quite a bit. One was a black room. In the middle was a brass bed with a red velvet (I think) blanket, and a white pillow. A spot light was shining on it. Above it, was a big screen, and projected on it was an open chest of some animal or human, you could see the lungs take in air, but it was mostly just a heart, beating. You could see the muscles sort of vibrate/flub a bit. There was also the smell of fermaldihyde (major sp). If you stood there and watched, slowly the heart slowed down, so after about fifteen minutes, it stopped. Like death slowly took over. Then started to go faster again, and repeat. Odd.
I got a cashew chicken sandwich for sure, I remember because it was the only thing that sounded edible, and I made a fuss over it. biggrin
Well, we remembered many things about our first times, it's just that inches came up, and you know how that goes. Unfortunately, despite the size thing, I'd rather have my virginity back (I think I said something about that in my profile). whatever Sometimes I'm just a fucking idiot.

Wednesday Jan 12, 2005

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A minor miracle has happened:

Over the past five days, I have played almost no video games at all. I seem to have entirely replaced the gaming with internet stuff and occasional writing. That is a very productive development. I deserve a cookie.
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squishylizards:

ah yes, the circus....

I got a job as a lighting technician with Ringling Brothers this past summer. Flew out to Georgia, settled into my little trailer, spent about a week working and drinking moonshine in the parking lot of the arena with trapeze artists.
I felt like I was living in a gypsy camp.

I was really loving the job (what stagehand doesn't want to go on tour?), but the combination of crappy pay/crappy living conditions/bizarre lifestyle/general creepiness got to me, I packed a bag, caught a cab to the airport, and went home in the middle of the night without telling anyone.

maybe not the nicest way to quit a job whatever
Of course now I wish i'd stayed longer, it would have been great work experience (and they were going to train me to be assistant to the snake lady if I did, which could have been cool.).

yep, just your standard, run of the mill running away fom the circus story smile

so now i'm intrigued.
tell me yours!

moya:

How sweet smile I just sit there, literally, off in la-la land while watching and listening. I have a fantasy-prone personality, and so half the time, I swear the video game was real.. It made things alot more fun. My favorite was/still is Legend of Zelda. It floors me everytime and I could sit captivated by it for hours. Unfortunately, those days are no longer frown

I agree, fuck high school. What disappoints me is my guidance counselor and the VP both know of my deteriorating (if we may call it so) mental health because of the idiotic immaturity of those people and the unhealthy environment the school itself is, and won't do much. What they failed to tell me (until it was too late of course) is that at the end of this semester, in two days (excluding exams), I'll be .25 of a credit short for graduating early. mad I could have easily just picked up another english class and I could be graduating by the end of the month, and finally free from the shackles. Also, despite the fact that amount of credit is approx. 8 weeks of class, I still need to be registered as a FULL TIME student for the entirety of next semester. The entire office hates me, from the day I literally stormed in and demanded to talk to the VP about this. The only way I can get out early is if I leave in order to go to work. Damn bastards fuck me up the ass either way. I guess I need the money.. whatever

I cannot wait to get out, because I know how much happier I will be (and none of this will matter afterwards smile) . I swear I can occassionally taste the sweet freedom, so close yet so far away.

Monday Jan 10, 2005

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I have been mingling on this stupid site for five hours, now! I have to work on my screenplay! Could you people please be less entertaining for, like, five minutes, so I can tear my eyes away from the screen?

I signed on to look at hot naked girls! Have I been looking at hot naked girls for five hours? No! I've been socializing...
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scarydoll:

Good luck! But my guess is that you'll be back here very soon. tongue

Welcome!

moya:

I agree, it does feel very rewarding when it starts to be okay and one has done it free of medications. I think that's probably a part of my positivity (although it may not always be there), the fact I've succeeded thus far, and have seen improvements. There was a time awhile ago where I had called my doctor because it got so bad, and I decided to go back on zoloft. The lady put me on hold, and after about one minute of waiting, I hung up; I chickened out, but I also felt a little wave of failing/giving up on myself passing over me as well. I'm very glad now that I made that decision. Thank you for offering to listen smile I've had many journals over the years and so I've greatly developed expressing and venting through words. Writing everything out almost becomes as addicting as this site is (even if it didn't have the journal feature).