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penguin17:
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saucissedanseuse:
welcome to sg italy smile
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Email I just wrote about my day and wanted to clone

In out pateint at wes pines I finaly have a friend to do nothing with while the inpatients are locked up and in between our PHS groups. Her name is Casey just like my little 1/2 bro in cali he's 6 and into power rangers. She's ADHD and a cutter and...
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penguin17:


penguin17:
My favorite SG Model she conveys a lot through her shoots and reminds me about life




This was my expression through most of my life I tended towards inward reflection and silence THEN I TURNED INTO A CRAZY MONSTER with this same expression a audacious typer with 6 blog pages she posts on and 4 email adresses and people feeling threatened by what they don't understand making the threat to threaten me if I don't prove to them they shouldn't threaten me with something that doesn't threaten me essencialy we all have different asspects to ourselves our brains branch just as our lives and as scociety and nature in turn do the same it is preconceived notions of what art and intellect and the true artistic communication or profetional one is that build walls of fear that inturn make a switch like me who always says and does what she wants and is happy and confidant up against people thinking I'm some how against them because they think what I say makes no sence and don't say specificaly what doesn't make sence and try to talk about it to further understanding they just assume I'm on drugs and harassing them or 23 and disrespectful
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madreindeer: If you talk about how Suicide Girls represents real women, and that you'd be honored to be a part of what they're doing, and that Suicide Girls is all about accepting women for who they are and who they love, that will help
JESSIEMARIEP: I think I have to write about how their site is more respectful towards women and that it...
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tigerangel:
Are you fucking high? I have absolutely no idea what the fuck you said in that comment you left on my blog.

Now I am not sure whether to flag you or just put you on ignore.
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Pengun.Ink
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JESSIEMARIEP (7:27:59 PM): W@hat's up Benthra
Darkfist 1 (7:28:08 PM): hey
JESSIEMARIEP (7:28:09 PM): :-)
JESSIEMARIEP (7:28:20 PM): you still madely in love like me?
JESSIEMARIEP (7:28:43 PM): I'm in love with a klepto maniak bipolar lunatic
JESSIEMARIEP (7:29:10 PM): he's on xiprexa and depakote
JESSIEMARIEP (7:29...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
penguin17:
[VIDEO]<object width="330" height="281"><param name="movie" value="http://suicidegirls.com/video/load/1099/"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://suicidegirls.com/video/load/1099/" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="330" height="281"></embed></object>
[/VIDEO]
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Message to Tiger Angels Blog (so fucking cool)


OMFG NO way you mean the costume that I saw that represented my deepest belifies turned out to be a big Fing Pussy who's site I'm never going back to and am silightly disturbed I went to
\\And no one's killed elephant man for being a freek
when I was 17 my best friends...
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My seduction email to Trio aka robert D

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::©Pengun.Ink:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


After not seeing or talking to a friend I felt really knew me the one
I called my brother (who would tell you he's not and I'm insain and
want to suck his cock and he wants nothing to do with me) the one at
CUmentalhealthhold I told was the only person alowed...
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"I'm not manic I just have a high IQ"
"...Thats why I'm capable of talking to you like this"

The doctors listened to me make the same point every day but unless they where systematic esoteric thinkers its unlikely they actualy heard me until I had been there from 7/28/07-8/10/07

The mental health hold on floor seven where every...
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penguin17:
Tunnel of love that was me in 2003 the same year I went to the gathering and lost chris in the woods on acid
penguin17:
I just took my 10mg abilify I'm finally off the intensity of 5-3mg respridol there's some lithium some where in there too
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Age 20 me Emmy Omega Pixie and JC go driving through the rockies late at night I'm drinking vinilla sky vodka that JC bought in the back seet feeling more and more excitement crisp air on my face riding bitch and more euphoric in hightened scitzophrenia




Blanket of Dreams
By: Jessica Padilla

Darkness set a blaze by a dance of so many swirling light...
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Awe of No Importance
Jess Padilla some time between 2003 and now
I look through this world with tired eyes, and a sullen medicated mind. Who we are and, who we knew only happened by some blind chance. The sound of your voice echoes in my mind as I picture some desolate seen. This is it. This is our chance, our time, our last breath...
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First couple pages written on 7/27/08 out of aprox76 pgs of memories Aftermath:freedom in ashes



I take a breath and breath out years and years of anonimous mail thats never been sent. One night of expected elation just another disapointment of disorientation. I need this like I need the rain to wash my sins away, and I never belived in sin. I...
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penguin17:
(I heard he dropped out of ceminary and went to college in road island his flamboyant futer is uncertain)



back to the past


So atempting my first oil painting in the half of the garage that no one parked in and my step greg adn his crew installed temporary walls in walls in my first painting I didn't have any gesso didn't reallythink about it just painted the black part on the white part and teh small amout of gery shadow on the floor ..... I handed in my first painting of the greates art class I was ever in at the time...still wet and touchy being as it was iol paint I turned in the greatest and first oil painting I had ever made my stuffed zebra self....Susan informed me that because i didn't paint the white part in the world of fine art it wouldn't be considered a real painting
I got an A
for aniken
Any ways summer school on zoloft was magnifecent
In my short english classes at an actual high school we read marktwain tath wasn't tom on a boat and we saw white zombie &*** One of us one of us*****I've never seen that one since but I think about it eveery day***I own white zombie I'm not a hypnotized zombie or slave master with a cylo...I am beside myself every day even if no one is around...........I hope I keep living the dream.............
I hope I orment my mind to no end more so that I can decover the sahttered random peices of my own creaations that I don't always intent to make in the first place............I hope I can share that with every one I love
and if it must be I hope some day I will fall off a cliff into the rocky waters of the ocean and truely know mobey dick the boock I've only read a couple random pages out of.............That my romantic friend who knew the jock from 5th grade at st.marys who later became a paraniod schitzo phrenic version of myself and tatooed a star on his head that wasn't a pentagram , that met me and my friend the master of flight who was with us in 5th grade at the ihop we all grew up in as the new best friedn of my best friend I'll ever have in my life Ashley who's called afrodite and wears her family motto started by her little brother ****and tatooed in ink projected by my dark core on my fore head*****"I DO WHAT I WANT"

I didn't recognize luke at first he had a hat on so it was a whil ebefore I even found out he had a star on his forehead but natalie who had gone to school with him up until he was sent to military school after fith grade unlike me who had only been with him for fith grade or maybe part of it.....He didn't recognize natalie my favoite marble head to not fly the friednly skys with how is great to travel with and is living her child hood dream of being a flight attendent............recognised him right away(LUKE BARRET) natalie hoppe from st.marys teh smaller less rich catholic school of torment next to a grave yard which is next to a Mayflour wherehouse tath no one ever really sees anything happening in and very well could be a wear house of zombies...........we knew eachother from the past of a religous torment that really didn't have a very good education adn some how we all found eachother again through Ashley my favorite aphrodite in that moment despite all our disjointed paths we all really beived in one another so we drank cheep coffee and homeless paraniod scizo phreic friend of mostr of the people I've ever known some how and my link to reading monbey dick on a buss adventure across town for 5 hours with the romantic decvon who I built a musical on my computer for that now talks to me who recently introduced me to my sister erin the amish who I dream of making wal-rus-porn with every day and is the reason i will never ever in a thoughsand deciobles clean the puke out of her car witch is on my mom's car's floor that I got the keys taken out of adn piut in my godfather batmans hands as per her request for spamming all her friends....so I write the greatest spam that tries not to be propoganda in my life...........the story of my life............
************* *******************
my car
I pray that if my mom ever does open my car whil e I'm not in it she will realise who I really am

items
some in places unknown thart have yet to be descovered
2 Hot spicey pickle in a bag that I just had to get incase I saw the perfect random person to give it too while buying erin the amish cigareets at the K stop by her house
9a crazy peice of hoes that are bright blue with flowers on them that I got at my families cosrtume store when i foudn the only out fit that looked suitable for the costrume party I went to with my friedn natalie the flight attendant.......a space pornstar metalic biue flightatendant>>>>>>>>natalie went as a cat with a pixy costume tath had a tail>>>>>>>>>>I can't remember if she wore the ears::::::::::::::we got a flat tire on the way to the parking lot that went flat in the parking lot::::::::::Natalie was convinced her tire was flat with no spare ....after phoning for help and told there was none....I decided to see if her trunk had a secret passage to the underground tire inside it like many:::::::::::::::::after taking out a hole shit load of crap from her many tavels::::::::::::::::::::::I feel liek taking a nap but I fear that if I do I will experience the death of teh mosrt beuatiful creation I've ever made up to now...........tath I won't get to share the most beutifl moments of my life with the people i love the most.......adn that they won't ever feel what its like to look into a dark mioor of your own back pool that got connected to you twice and duplicated itself athousand times only to see you adn give you the greatest tickle of chiuldish reflextion that you randomly spamed peopl eabou tdifferent parts of the journy as you decovered the coolest fucking web page ever in your life next to Born twizted beyond teh freek show and the music vedeo I made about the mosrt sarcastic peice of music that was the ultaimate sarcastic joke tath cake from the mountain of a movie he tol dme he thougth could never be articulated into words and Idid it for him adn more so much more that when I stopped talking to him adn making erin the amish laugh ( look maic fucking stalkin gvioces I['m a fuckin gmanic pcitzo phrenic genuis who didn't get to finish her iq test because they put it inside of a fucking apoint ment so whiile I laugh and find alot of beuty and have faith in creation I've never written anytbhing this fucking long in my entire life adn it does mean alot to me......and if I could I woudl like to send it through time and to all ther people I'd hope to touch so yes I'm 23 newly from 1984 birth of the year 7/7.07) and I'm not seseptibley numb to the fear of wattchin g ones own memory of everything they love in life die liek a child of the 4th demention of creation who longs to project the interaction of her own experiences of creation to revery one..........so fuck you too Some times I am tormented by the thought of loss...............At the baR THAT nihgt fiddlesticks whirtch was next to jesses house but he said he was about to go to benders whitch was our back to it hang out of most of our kareoke experiances and jumproping to dj nights tahat I never thougth I'd get into two at once but some how I did.........I tol dhim that he should meet me through the back door of the bar that was across the street from his house and he didn't want to meet me ther so having taht day just seen the face of god I joked that it was of historical importance.....we never met up with eacchother but I had teh best time if my life and had faith that when he was ment to see me he would just as I...................after speaking of the moutsin I never got to seee the ending of biut devon said that i not only summed it up to words for him but made him think about things he had never thought before when he himself often srtruggled to make people see what he was thinking of when we finaly foudn silence..........on the deck of the porch in a hole in a wall in the land of the methhead apt complex that is my platyJessies posseland. devon started stroking his cock the peaple on the pourch sharing the moment staarted passing a bowl and not being hungry I decided I'd have another beer battered much room covered with chetter cheeze...................
I hop eI never loose you chedder provolone adn parmasian cheeze..................god I really do need to shoot myself in the head I'm way to fucking sappy........but it would probably just be the mask of light that would fade and not my dark soul.............
penguin17:
Well there u have it the first recovered files of which I was convinced I lost all 72+ pages in a lightning storm that froze my computer and I didn't even give a shit because it was all auto biographical and any one I want to know that shit knows it already so I spam my two friends on SG or any one who so happens to actualy read my blog