The last goodbye

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I haven't been on here since september and then I came back on the 1 st of Jan, my account is almost expired, my number's up. I don't like these new changes to the site, thats why I left anyway. But I felt like maybe I owed some of you a true goodbye, fortunately even though this site no longer offered the...
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Thursday Sep 12, 2013

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Fuck this stupid ugly face
and this brain that never functions
and these ankles that always feel twisted
and this stomach that cannot handle alcohol
and social anxiety
And an inability to ingest weed.

fuck every single aspect of my life.
and fuck expecting things to get better... they won't.

Saturday Aug 24, 2013

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The last time I wrote a blog after a small UK meet took place I was feeling left out and acted like a bit of a dick. well there seems to be another going on right now but eh I have two things to consider...

a) I'll never be invited to another because of my previous behavior
b) I'm only going to concentrate...
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autumnsky:

hey, i wasnt invited to this one. sometimes is best to ignore and let people get on with it. just shows you who your real friends are. shocked

kaikai:

aww, your friend sounds sweet, though this us a testament to how awkward you can be. ;]

I like the longer blog!

Sunday Jul 21, 2013

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My mind is going weird places again.

Starting to think i've outstayed my welcome around these parts.

Maybe i'm paranoid.

Or maybe it's the cold slap of reality.
hexxus:

what makes you think youve outstayed your welcome???

kaikai:

will most certainly be missed, more then you'll ever know.

Wednesday Jul 03, 2013

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Taken from Skye and Kaikai's blog respectively because mine are always about self imposed doom & gloom: Answer the questions then create your own 1 question and repost with your own answers.

1.) What do you think about before you fall asleep at night?
Usually its 'I hope I get to sleep tonight without delay' as is often not the case.

2.) If you won a weekend destination anywhere world wide this weekend, where would you go?
Amsterdam, its an hour flight, its a doable weekend. I'd pick somewhere better if we had a matter transporter.

3.) Biggest Turn on?
Red Hair

4.) Top 5 Artists on iTunes?
Eeep don't use it (boring answer, sorry)

5.) What is your biggest "What if?"
What if I had stayed out in Lloyds bar 7 years ago instead of leaving with my friends.

6.) Favorite thing to cook?
Chicken soup, its one of the few things I've made but I make it really well.

7.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 26, give me line 7.
"and reaffirm the values he disregarded, including the value of the victim"

8.) Do you have more female friends or male friends?
50/50 my best friend is male, my other friend at work is female. everyone else I know in person are just sort of associates.

9.) What's something you tried as an adult that you loved as a child and were sorely disappointed?
Campbells meatballs, Episodes of thundercats, the Ninja Turtles movies and Drawing (but mosrtly because of how awful I've gotten)

10.) Who was the last person you held hands with?
held.... hands?

11.) Would you rather live without TV or Music?
Music

12.) what are you currently addicted to?
Oreos, sainsbury's wheat cereal with little bit of apricot in them, Farley's Rusks with Natural Yogurt. The Last of Us

13.) What's your ultimate deal breaker?
I dunno, if I get ignored I feel abandoned but is that an unrealistic expectation? oh lets just say ass to mouf

14.) Last movie you saw in theaters?
The Man of Steel, I liked it, did not love it, but I hope the stuff I didn't love will be a repercussion thing in the sequel.

15.) Do you collect anything?
I'm not really collecting them, I;'ve just amassed a large quantity of (in)action figures over the years, some boxed, some unboxed.

16.) Favorite flavor of ice cream?
Toffee Fudge, typically only found at parlours so I guess I relish the opportunity when it arises. I've not had it for over a decade...
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kaikai:

Yay! you did one too! nice new question!!! biggrin

Tuesday May 21, 2013

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Been sitting at my desk for ages trying to think of how best to say things, I had a whole load of things I was going to say this morning and whilst i was at work but now I'm back home i'm coming up empty.

Things I've said yesterday cannot be unsaid, trust misplaced in me has been forever lost and I...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
quackers:

Saw your post in the "No friends" group (yeah I'm a member too!) and your profile pic has a DeLorean in it which is a kick ass car then saw you're in the UK. So what the hell

Hi, how's it going?

blu:

thanks so much for the support babe. <3 x

Sunday May 19, 2013

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dousing my profile with metaphorical gasoline, let the great purge begin.

I should probably never have attended the meet in march, cause all that abstractness, that faceless entitity was presentecdd by a fucking mongoloid with a kidney bean shaped head who was unintersting to talk to, who was ignored and silenced and who's conversations revolved around everyone asking him 'are you alright/having fun...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
hodor:

I think you are looking for evidence that confirms your beliefs about yourself, and what we say or do doesn't matter.

omaru:

i'm not looking for evidence on something that is evident. But you're right in saying that it doesn't matter what you say, because I am a distrusting asshole.

Wednesday May 01, 2013

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I feel like every time I write a blog it's nothing but misery, and every time I'm miserable I consider my options of leaving this place.
When I do this I can picture certain people saying "good, get the fuck out of here RETARD!!!!" maybe those are the people that should inherit SG as a whole. Do they deserve it? Probably not, but...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kaikai:

Oh you. <3

blu:

Awesome man!
i heard its set in Boston, really excited for it.
New Vegas was pretty poor, i think they really rushed it.
x

Wednesday Apr 10, 2013

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I feel done in, the past 3 weeks I have not known a day where I've finished before 5pm,. in the normal 8-4 office universe this fucking sucks thai ladyboy dicks in the planet of anal prison buggery.

I'm just sick and tired of everything, I hate life, it seems to have its share of hate for me. I always feel exhausted when...
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hodor:

i dont know what to say. hate all you like but we'll still love you <3

waterfordman:

As H says <3

Monday Mar 25, 2013

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first day back at work and I'm already contemplating suicide in the near future.

I will never be as fast or as accurate as they want me to be, the only thing that stops them firing me is probably the fact I already have a contract and there's too much paperwork involved.

Work is bedlam at the moment, every day I'm working...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hodor:

Uhhhh also I completely disagree with "fuck therapists"

I hope you feel better today dude.

expo:

Stay strong dude, ive been through it before if you need to talk x

Wednesday Mar 13, 2013

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I'd like to say I'm fashionably late in writing my blog regarding the meet, but I just have struggled to find the words in general.

I started off the day paranoid, and proceeded into the day ever more paranoid, because plans didn't go as planned, complications arose, but were overcame and safety ensured, I kinda owe Delmantus for that guiding me along...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
waterfordman:

Lately most of my blogs are pre written and then uploaded when I come home.

Yesterdays was one of them and I didnt intend to come across as big headed but I fear from the lack of comments that may be how it was perceived. Ive added you on twitter too.

spike2201:

was good to have somebody in the car for the ride back.... any time pal tongue