Broke up with the girl last night. In some ways I feel like I fucked up a really good thing, and maybe I did, but she's one of those "I'm afraid of anything that even comes close to resembling a loving, stable relationship" types. I guess its a pretty common fear, because I tend to fall in with girls like that. I just can't be...
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The weather is cold and rainy. I'm in denial about it. Yesterday when it was similar I walked around in flip flops and a short sleeve t-shirt, freezing my ass off. I'm blaming my mood shift on the cold, grey light too. I've been feeling kind of weird, kind of sad, and it may have all started with some superstitious shit that happened yesterday.
I...
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I...
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kindredchilde:
i cant until i graduate.
mezereona:
ty, ty..how are things going?
This weekend I'm going off to Universal studios to see Huey Lewis and the News play. It isn't often you get to see a band almost two decades old who played on the soundtrack of one of your all-time favorite childhood movies, in a theme park with a ride dedicated to the same movie. Thank God I have friends like MachinShin who are geeky enough...
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holy_mountain:
And then Micheal J Fox makes a guest appearence hehe.
Aww hope things go well with your girl.
Aww hope things go well with your girl.
kundalini:
Isn't it nice having someone to distract like that...? It's nice being distracted sometimes too... 
Gosh that movie is terrible.
Gosh that movie is terrible.It hasn't been that long and already I find myself facing the shadow within. Lately it has been supressed by a surge of confidence and clarity of my thoughts/actions, but I knew deep down that it wouldn't be too long after I had found love that it would grow darker as the light grew brighter. Such is the balance. So I have doubt, anxiety, and...
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wtf:
Go with the flow
cavatica:
I know we haven't talked much lately. I like to think the biggest reason for that is a conflict in schedules, a difference in priorities and agendas and Important Places to Be. Maybe that isn't all. If it is or if it isn't, I hope you know I'm still always ready to listen if you need it-- about anything, any time. I know it doesn't always help. I know I can't do anything else. But if you need an ear, I've got two.
The glory days of Spring shouldn't be spent in despair.
[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 1:38PM]
The glory days of Spring shouldn't be spent in despair.
[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 1:38PM]
I kissed a girl that I have been trying to kiss for a couple of years now. It doesn't seem like it has been that long. In some ways it seems like time is starting to get away from me, but I suppose that is the way that I want it: to live unbound by time.
So I've traded my nights of good sleep for...
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So I've traded my nights of good sleep for...
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wtf:
And to think you had the whole love/woman thing worrying you. 
It only gets better from here doesn't it?
It only gets better from here doesn't it?
holy_mountain:
I hooked up with this girl once after knowing her for 4 years. Always worth the wait... It's defininetly a worthy trade-off.
Last night I started feeling kind of weird, as if I were about to be on the verge of falling into depression, and somehow I took the energy and emotion from it and redirected it. I found inspiration in the desires and longings that were stirring, an opportunity to tell a story about those kinds of dreams and passions that seem so far out of...
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wtf:
Truimph again.
I love reading your entries because I find myself a lot.
I wonder often where would I be without being able to?
I love reading your entries because I find myself a lot.
I wonder often where would I be without being able to?
kundalini:
The characters that we write best are merely extensions of ourselves. If I believed in magick and the power of words I'd say you were writing your own life.
Saw my shrink the other day. Apparently everything is normal...FOR NOW.
I wrote a paper last night and found out that it isn't due until April 5. On the bright side, that means I'm going to be fucking off on April 4.
It's so unusual to not have chaos and turmoil. It's sort of uncomfortable. Fortunately, I doubt I'll have time to get used to...
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I wrote a paper last night and found out that it isn't due until April 5. On the bright side, that means I'm going to be fucking off on April 4.
It's so unusual to not have chaos and turmoil. It's sort of uncomfortable. Fortunately, I doubt I'll have time to get used to...
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In highschool I had this friend, one of the nicest guys I have ever met in my life. Always kinda quiet, but uber-generous, and always a great guy to have in your life to hang around with. A couple of months ago I found out that his sister is a pornstar, apparently a pretty well known one. She's been doing it since she was 19,...
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holy_mountain:
Maybe she's rebeling against her conservative christian parents or something. But yeah gangbang porn isn't cool at all.
asrai:
aw thank you 
well, I was the same way in school actually, but I see why that would be shocking.... I doubt she is proud of that and she probably just made some bad decisions, unfortunately these are on film and there is proof. Its sad.
well, I was the same way in school actually, but I see why that would be shocking.... I doubt she is proud of that and she probably just made some bad decisions, unfortunately these are on film and there is proof. Its sad.
Been trying to read Great Expectations, but homework always makes me sleepy and naked women are better than coffee for keeping me wide awake.
Since some time yesterday I have been thinking about the duality of gender and how strange it is that we are incomplete in this world without another person. Romantic or sexual involvement with another human being is not something we...
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Since some time yesterday I have been thinking about the duality of gender and how strange it is that we are incomplete in this world without another person. Romantic or sexual involvement with another human being is not something we...
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asrai:
yeah... and I don't like being numb.
thanks for the advice
thanks for the advice
holy_mountain:
The meaning of life is different for everyone, but yeah for most people their relationship with other people brings them the most happiness out of anything else in life.
I was thinking in the shower today. It always seems to be a good place to think, as you wash yourself of the day that came before. Trust is unusual. People always talk about earning or gaining trust, but is trust seems to be a matter of predictability and shaping people's perception of how one is going to act in any given circumstance. Not all...
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The updates are coming kinda quick, but it isn't often that I have a whole lot to say. The ex-girlfriends are coming out of the woodwork to find me. The planets must be aligned in a weird way. I don't understand why they do this every now and then. Maybe they can't leave well enough alone, or perhaps I'm just that damn irresistable. I guess...
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asrai:
I was in class a couple hours ago, looking out the window and watching the sun set. It was magnetic in a way, wasn't it? After the dreary coldness all day.
Only in the darkness are our inner lights truly tested. I'm here again, and I can feel the weight of everything coming back in like a tide. I can feel all the old desperate feelings latching on and trying to suck me down like an overwhelming undertow. Now I pray to the light above the clouds, the light that I know exists beyond the endless...
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holy_mountain:
I like that quote a lot.
i broke up with my girl that samenight.
though, im the one afraid of the stable relationship.
go figure.
good luck.