moya

Kool aid...you my only friend!
Did i show you the mario twins?

Yeah, i had something stolen from me cause UPS left it outside on the porch, and i was at work. I was able to get another one sent to me, but still pissed me off. I was all grrr and shit.

I was kicked out of catholic school twice for wanting to be a manslut for da ladies..wink wink. This is all true..

I like the thought of getting lost in a library. When I was alive I used to love to read. In 6th grade I would read my dads NCAR book club books when he was done. Getting lost in a book while lying in a sunbeam for hours, only taking a break becasue of overwhelming hunger or a full bladder. Oh how I long for thoes days.

Please remind me about the reason for your hospital appointment again: was it for the ligament in your knee that keeps popping out of place? Good luck with that! Knees are the worst designed part of a human. Consequently, if you look at all well evolved bipedal lifeforms, at least ones that walk on the ground a lot, their knees bend backward. A much more functional design. Do you play sports at all?

I was reading about a theory regarding mood disorders and I am curious what you think as you, like me, proabably have one: depression. The theory is that certan thoughts are triggered by some event that makes you sad, then those thoughts repeat in your head and reinforce the triggered feeling. For example in Eternal Sunshine two lovers correct their relationship problems which makes me feel like a failure with my last realtionship and reminds me of what I lost. Then thoughs like "you have always had this problem and you will never be able to solve it" and "your flaws are so tremendous and self supporting that nobody will ever love you" circle in my mind reinforcing the origional feeling of saddness and generating more destructive thoughts.

The point of the theory is that if you can realise the cycle of these thoughts and break it by self distracting or soliciting outside help you can get yourself out of that slump of sadness, shortening its duration and eventually stopping the pattern of behaviour all togeather.

So far it hasnt worked for me but I havent seriously tried to apply it yet. Perhaps I will try it tonight, my roomate tends to saty up late. Perhaps if I talk her ear off I can avoid sharp objects or implements of inflicting damage by heat.

What do you think of the theory? Im going to link to this comment from my journal hopefully getting my friends to offer their opinions and unique perspectives as well.

I hope you sleep and sleep well, dreaming of floating worlds, soft, fuzzy, and glowing, filled with thoes little tree spirits from Princess Mononoke. I LOVE thoes little guys!

Aw come on... you should have no trouble getting a fanclub to follow you around. You seem cool enough and you're cute... that's pretty much all it takes.

Yeah, Underground and Revolution are two clubs I go to in Hollywood. Underground goes on every Friday night while Revolution is on every 2nd Saturday of the month. They're way cool. They primarily play brit pop, indie rock, and similar sounding music... bands like Metric, Pulp, The Ramones, Blur, Placebo, Elefant, and such. It's where I go to blow off steam from the week and have a few drinks.

I spent many hours in the library myself... if I wasn't researching scientific information for my experiments and reports, I was hidden away in a corner reading anything interesting I found on the shelves. I miss having that quiet time to just sit and read for hours.

2.5 hours late to work... OMG that's late.

Remember, when you get sick you always have to refer to it as "the plague". It might get you some extra sympathy.

But I guess it's best not to get sick at all... so don't do it.

Damn i just realized that i have to re-new my DL. Sucks thought they lasted 5 years. Mine only lasted 3.

OhhhhKay - somehow I didn't expect to see an explanation of hex numbers in here .

I useta be able to add and subtract in hex - was useful for finding out where my program blew up from the hexadecimal program counter and the offset locations from the source code printout we were required to keep - so we could find out where the program blew up . It was all very self-referential .

Now you just haveta guess and rely on your own program logs - sometimes I miss mainframes LOL

Yeah i have no idea how you'd get involved with a ghost. Although it could be kinda kinky. *giggles*

Your hair is great! Sure makes you easier to spot in a crowd right?

Paris is cool actually, you should hook up with a real Irishman and both go there.

Well..St Patricks Day's coming up so chance to grab an Irishman! Actually there are fuckloads here in London so nab one and then get a Eurostar to Paris..

how has the reaction been to your hair?

Blue hair is cool.

Hmmmmm trust you eh? You look kinda like a shady character though? It's those shifty eyes! The bloinde make syou look less shady on account of it's less dark, which is good.

I haven't seen either of those movies... they look old, well the second one does.

I can't wait to see yoru hair a bright green!!!

No, she already said no to that idea. I will continue to make trips to Denver to visit her and woo her. Maybe someday we will be united...

KOOL AID IS MY PLEASURE!!

That computer was pretty damn cool. I'll send you the links of the one i'm building for myself. It's gonna be a sexy lil bitch of a computer. I'll see about hooking you up. Peace..


*Looks for my Kool aid*

Your dreams haunt you? Mine are fun, like going to the movies, only better cause I'm the star. Nothing like quality entertainment while you sleep. They're usually more interesting than my 'wakeing' life anyway.

in that case, i must be stuck in perpetual winter.....

how's the bleaching going?

Hi.
SG is becoming more and more neglected by me... my obsession has moved elsewhere... I'll always be a member and such, but if you want to you can always IM me..

Don't stop missing people... don't do what I do... pretend that nothing is wrong; go into a state of emotional numbness... find new people!
Of all people, I know best that it's hard to do, but you should try.

I hate my uterus too.

Yeah, I'm doing all my journal entries in notepad from now on.

Wow, I never thought that bed would get made.

I wish my problem at work would get fired, but that would never happen.

Knees are the worst part of the body to have to get fixed. Everyone I've known that had something done to their knees has the occation problem with them.

My car made it alright. It smelled like burning a couple times, but everything seems to be okay. Glad gas hasn't gone up too much yet.

I had fun. Except for the part where I got sicker than I've ever been in my life. That kinda sucked. But it was my own damn fault. Reminded me how it's probably a good thing I don't live there. And Target isn't hiring me. The bastards.

I dread making my bed. I usually let the sheets sit there a few days after washing them before I bother putting them on.

Ohhh no!....I wish you were closer you could hang out with me and my female friends to take your mind off things!

No, I will move, I hope.
tt pa hiding from tha
I only dream of my X some times, rarely really. Thankfully.
I think I am getting better, or at least better at hiding from the pain that nobody can ever love me, or that I am incapable of love.

Lets see if I can hide tonight.

aww you sound down, not good. You did say that Feb was a bad time for you because of the past didnt you? Onwards and upwards..maybe even dumb stuff like that the weather getting better will improve your mood...

if not, I will tickle you.

A yes, we will never be gods. Well, to put it another way, there will always be someone better. Its never enough.

Your post today seems pritty abstract: family, death, longing. Smells like trouble to me. I say go see the grandest of mothers! Ask away! What is stopping you?
I was never close with anyone, and sometimes that sucks (most times actually) so go see your grand-ma-ma!

March is gonna burn me too I think. My only hope is to get invoived in something to distract myself. And NOT what I have been distracting my self with lately either! Curse me!
Oh, wait. I am already cursed.