mro

I was walking up Queen Street in the rain today when something I stepped on made a crunching sound. I thought it was a Malteser but when I checked under my shoe it turned out to be a snail.

I was driving to pick up my Chinese takeaway yesterday when I happened to notice my milometer. I have driven exactly eight thousand and eight miles in my car.

8,008 miles.

It looks like the word BOOB

ha ha ha

We had a little 'bonding' session yesterday. The new dealing team from the firm who has taken us over decided to take my dealing team out for a few drinkies and a spot of dinner. We ate and drank, and drank and ate. They give the impression of not being so much of a bad bunch of people after all (famous last words, eh?).

At...
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I wonder if this comes in a Large ---------->

I have words on my back and I hope to put them to good use some time very soon. If you think that sounds surreal you should try feeding jelly babies to a hungry seagull and looking for an invisible fish which blends in with it's background before you even have a chance to look at...
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I got chased out of my bed last night....by a feather.

I shit ye not, a big brown feather.

The problem is, when I take my glasses off I literally can't see anthing. I differentiate between colours of fuzzy blobs. A face becomes a pink blob with two black blobs where I presume the eyes should be, that sort of thing.

So, I took my...
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Wow. I can't believe how remarkably drunk I got yesterday.

I took some clients to the Rugby Club again. Usual thing - watch the rugby, free food, free bar, back in to town, more alcohol courtesy of my expenses account.....

Somewhere along the lines we managed to lose a few stragglers but the few remaining people (just the usual 3 of us) lasted the entire...
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I wish......

*tap*


*tap tap*


*shake*


Hmmmmmmmmm


*flick flick flick*


I think I have broken my Old Fella. For some strange reason he doesn't want to play, no matter how many pics of naked chicks I look at. Is it possible to break your willy from too much wanking? I do have quite a strong grip after all.

Still, thank you for your input regarding my strange...
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I had a strange dream last night.

My eyes were bloodshot, but when I looked at them closely they weren't blood vessels in the white of my eyes it was a map of the London Underground in glorious technicolour.

Any offers of analysis?

Uh-oh.

I'm slipping.....

Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - Twooooooooooooooooooo
Threeeeeeeeeeeeee - Twoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

3-2 3-2 3-2 3-2

We beat the Argies!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent game too, despite being only a friendly.

Those of you who missed the game and wish to catch the highlights on ITV might want to turn away before you read my journal.....

This has nothing to do with drink.

The circus is in town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!