lemonkid

TESTIFY!

I thought I'd examine my SG history by going through testimonials.

So here's my Lemonkid Testimonial Roundup.

Charley said

Nipples, nipples, nipples, nipples, nipples.

The 2nd of two entirely nipple based testimonials.. I must be doing something right.

undone said

Lemonkid knows everything.
If you think he doesn't know everything, you are then the Knight of the Dumbwaiter, and Lemonkid will have no problem telling you as much.

Well hardly everything, but that's the goal. I've probably knighted a few people in my time though.

PresidentNumber2 said

NIPPLES!

You know if you weren't dating another Canadian I'd be preparing my room full of masks. The Guggenheim was a blast and the strawberries delicious.

ThisAintNoPicnic said

I have had the pleasure of spending time with Lemonkid in a variety of social situations, ranging from large events to intimate muffin-sharing in my car. The man is a true gentleman with fantastic musical knowledge, impeccable fashion sense, and an uncanny ability to attract the attention of servers while beerless in bars. I highly recommend you make the effort to meet Lemonkid.

What can I say about Picnic.. the man's seen me in my finest moments (girlfriend destroying the SG Vic crew at Pool) and my worst (getting totally burned at Mod night) and he's stuck the whole way through. A true gentleman himself, it's amazing what muffins can do for friendship.

Queena said on

Little known fact: I went to highschool with Lemonkid (and was pretty bitchy to him). Lucky gal that I am, we're now friends and what can I say? Bang a gong - this kid rocks my socks

High school was lame, the pseudo-real world isn't. Glad some things can do under bridges where they belong.

Lotus said

lemonkid thinks he's pretty cool. So I guess he must be....

Oh Lotus, it's too bad you're in Cowtown, I'm always running short on dancing partners. I got to respect anyone who's an island of veganism in a sea of beef.

Cheech said

Lemonkid suggested to Sisqo in Miami one night - "You oughta do a song about... like... scanty women's undies," and the rest is history.

In my defence - I was only joking. Sisqo isn't known for his sense of irony.

unravled said on

I can't believe I haven't left a testimonial for Lemonkid yet. He's one of the raddest human beings I've had the pleasure of meeting.

Actually, it turns out I have left a testimonial for him. But he's still radness personified.

Thanks unravled.. it was nice meeting you too, even though you were pretty busy making out with some hottie. I look forward to doing it again.. I expect nothing less from the Keeper of the Orange.

Llona said

I'm going to whisk him away to Paris whereupon we will have culinary orgies and decadent sessions of shoe buying that last well into the night. and then i'll take him dancing, and well, none of you may ever see him again.
xo

Anytime you're ready to disappear into the streets of Paris - you know where to reach me.

WhiskeyFightPit said

Younger and more intelligent. I am envious of this man's morphing and vast musical tastes. Some paint. Some Weld. Some Shred. Some Film. This man throws a circus tent over all of the previous in his mixtapes. If I can shake my materialism and my jail cell numbing sense of duty...I will venture to occupy space with this gargoyle of hip. But he wears this shit with so much CLASS that it makes the babies swoon and the dudes check with which direction to swing. And that is a hell of a feat for students of the drone and the yodel. May the light of fortune always shine on this Chevy-chasin' cheetah of the Beltane.

For some reason this testimonial makes me want to light up a blow torch and start shredding steel - a reaction I find entirely appropriate. Even more so once I get my new suit.

naja_haje said on

I met Lemonkid on a stop in Kitakyushu where he helped me find Django Reinhardt's preserved ring and little fingers. The Japanese wizard, Mushanokoji Tsujimoto, had informed me that Ho-Masubi, the god of fire, would bless me with unsurpassed virtuosity if I drank a matcha brewed from Django's fingers. Luckily, Lemon had been working his way up the ranks of the Yakuza as the Canadian cocaine ambassador and knew that the bosss concubine had a fetish for mummified extremities. We managed to trick a young ryoushi into selling us two of his fingers for a pair of cowboy boots and a laminated Pamela Anderson poster. We planned to make the swap when the gang floated their lanterns at the end of Obon. As I crept into the Yakuzas vault of treasures I heard a blood-curdling scream. Nyoko, the concubine, had flown into a coke rage after the boss had failed to produce Rick Allen's left arm. In desperate need of distraction Lemonkid satisfied his heroic providence by belting out I Wanna Be Your Hero during self-immolation.

I escaped unharmed, only to find out later that I had mistakenly stolen the dried nipples of princess Aaabish.

This is my all-time favorite testimonial. I believe it speaks for itself.

MisterSatan said

Am I the only person who thinks Lemonkid is the weirdest fuckin' guy on the planet?

I am?

Fine, I am!

Oh ... I don't think that's true.

viy said

We all want him as our hausfrau.

Ich bin uber gut hausfrau, ja.

Oryx said

when lemon and i do finally meet the coolness factor will be larger than anything the world has seen before. hurry up and get your ass to toronto so i can seduce you!

Hahahaha.

Atrasties said

A commander of cool in the new hip war on idiots and backwards thinking. Can cut you to the quick, and has a playlist for every occasion. Someone I love to pour drinks for.

I rarely turn down a well poured drink.

unravled said on

Lemony goodness in every bite.

I'm also excellent at seasoning fish.

Ophelia said on

Lemonkid is the best wife that any girl could ever hope for. He's an amazing cook, has impeccable taste, and is a wall of emotional support when I'm just about ready to throw myself off a cliff. He entertains me with his bad dancing skillz and his amusement at little things like messed up movie signs and making lists of our top ten Ophelia-like things and Lemony things. I ♥ the Lemonkid.

I miss you kiddo. Where have all my husbands gone? And bad?
*cries* I'm as good as Napoleon Dynamite.

maldoror said on

Lemonkid is the cat's pajamas...he's a hyper-intelligent extra-dimensional being made of pure citrus, and he has better aural/visual/literary taste than you. You might as well surrender to the sweet release of hara-kiri, because you will never possess a fraction of the coolness of Lemonkid. plus, he takes his nom de plume from Burroughs, how f***ing cool is that?!

A moment of silence for fellow fallen Surrealists.

Flux said

Kid is fuckin' straaaaange.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Sloane1 said

Lemonkid is way cooler than you, motherfucker! He's close personal friends with DJ Jazzy Jeff and he's from Canada. Beat that, beeyatch!

Ahhhh. Sweet sweet Jazzy Jay. Now that's some fine boogie. See him live kids.

Velvetone_Fusion said on

By far the lemoniest of all the lemon people. Makes me wanna take Lemonkid billboards, and line middle-of-nowhere highways with them, Burma-Shave style

There's nothing like being 1000 miles from nowhere.

Lotus said

I love lemonkid. he is the super awesome

So I guess I'm not the only one, right?

FreakPirate said

A confident opponent and a source of entertainment on the boards.

It will be a pleasure to cross swords with you.

It was a pleasure, I recall. And it was a pleasure helping you cross swords with *CENSORED*

Les said

I've testified once, but I'll testify again... I love LemonKid!

Thanks Les. Congrats again on your engagement. Hopefully you'll blow up your tv, move into the country, eat a lot of peaches, and find yourself a home.

Scylla said on

Lemonkid is rad and has good taste in evverything (although maybe his liver tastes icky. Frankly I don't know). He is also cool and sweet.

The feeling's mutual. I'm looking forward to sushi.

Buddha said

:Swoon: sexy sexxy man

Oh yeah.. the zotted member who sent me pictures of himself having threesomes and his cock and wanted to have sex with me. Yay!


Lotus said on

I'd probabaly marry lemonkid. He seems cool enough.
I really wish he would visit too!

I did! Once I move... your turn!

Les said on

a fellow frogs lover

Just you, me, and Baby Greaser George.

aj said

Lemonkid is a true seeker- I'm not sure if he's in search of the perfect chord, or something much less Apollonian and probably positively Bacchanalian. My radio DJ'ing friend is sure to be witty, intelligent, provoking, and maybe a little bit dirty at all times.

Try a lot dirty. And I'm still looking.

mattthegoon said on

a smart, interesting person...posts well, and is completely made of lemons. no kidding !!!!
and he's canadian!
and he like john coltrane.

There's nothing like having citrus run through your veins.

Agent said

Lemon is one smart sonufagun.

Thanks again.. you still need to teach me how to play craps.

citrus said on

i think thelemonkid is way cool.

look at that gorgeous kissy face

Oh the rightness of the person who posted my first ever testimonial. Few of you will catch the reference to my original profile picture.

Thanks people, you're all great. (except for the zots)