lars

from now on suicide via firearm will be called "gunalingus"

because "pistolatio" doesn't roll of the tongue the same way.

is it racist to tag "hungry thirty min later" on sets that show an Asian girls pussy?

I've been on a date with an Iraqi, a Korean, now i just need to date a Persian to complete the axis of evil.

The only way the GOP could win the 2012 election is if they get General Patreaus to run as a republican. but he could never win the primary because hes against torture, bombing civilians, spending tens of billions on weapon systems we don't need. plus he understands the importance of providing people with jobs, working infrastructure, and security.

http://www.opencongress.org/vote/2011/s/218

the senate said they can put any one in prison indefinitely without any evidence at all. Obama only vetoed it because it didn't give him enough power.

I really like "the better angles of our nature" I'm glad i head about it and found the audio book on audable.com.

two guys are talking in a bar, one asks "did you do anything for your anniversary?"
other says my wife asked for a threesome and i said yes"
first one asks "how was it?"
other guy says "i don't know, she wont let me watch"

attn: zombie squad members. remember to dismember and burn the attractive female zombies or certain members WILL be tempted to have sex with them. At the present time it is not know if zombieism is sexually transmitted. Also, contact your group leader if a member is found with a female head or torso being stored in a cool dry place with its teeth removed.

Girl in royal oak "i think you'er sexy"
Me in deadpool costume "are you 18"
Girl in royal oak "no"
Me in deadpool costume "I'll see you in a couple years"

is there a word for exes you only miss when you are horny?