Soooo

5

I have a odd list of songs that no matter what is going on in my life, they always cheer me up. Don’t always go to them (don’t want them to lose their magic). Today I pulled one out. It totally worked 😀 but i’m a little embarrassed about it.

Actually I really don’t care. I love this song. Reminds me of a simpler time....
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I’m still alive

6

And we still have no idea what is wrong with my heart. 5000 dollar deductible later and i’m told that I need more tests.

I managed to get away with only telling one person in my immediate family. I’m happy about that, as nervous as I was I think I came out stronger. I have always known I could get along fine alone. I would...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
korbendallas:
Thanks for the kind words @avrora they mean a lot. Stay wonderful
korbendallas:
@medusaw thanks lady! Means more than you could ever know.

Well

7

I check into the hospital in a few hours. Nervous as hell. If this is the last post you see shit did not go well. Lol I still have yet to tell anyone (well only one) person. It’s been real.

Wish me luck.

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
korbendallas:
@crix @vexaltyn @wrencher thanks for the comments you all. Meant more than you could imagine. Unfortunately they didn’t find what they thought they would do I will require more testing. I’m just glad to have this done with.
crix:
The right nod of recognition at the right time can shift the world.  I feel where you're at.  Keep grinding!

Next Thursday

6

I get the procedure done on my heart. Not gonna lie, i’m a bit of a wreck. It’s a common but invasive. I just have a bad feeling though. I’ve come up with an excuse as to why i’ll Be gone for a couple of days. I have told only one person in my family so they can help cover for me. Lol it is...
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avecalluna:
Sometimes hiding from family, we protect them (and ourselves too). Get well soon!^^
korbendallas:
So very true @avecalluna

So

7

On the 10th of May they are going to scope out my heart. Gonna be like a 4 hour procedure, so I’m told. They are still not sure what is wrong with me, they are going to check for clogged arteries but my blood work has always been pristine. If it’s not an artery issue... looks like i’ll Be getting exams until the figure out...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
coalsomnanna:
Positivity is a good cure all along with a dash of love and music, you got this!
korbendallas:
Thanks good sir. I am definitely keeping my head up.

Back to the doctors

3

This whole week I have been sick as fuck. My piece of shit coworker who I hate with every fiber of my soul. Decide it would be a good idea to show up to work sick. And thenpig face got half of the building sick..I truly dislike this lady.

So today I go and get some results back. A little nervous about it. But I...
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Well shit

8

Jury duty tomorrow.

Heart exam Wednesday.

And preparing for staff meeting on Friday.

I did meet a girl though. She is....magical. I really don’t know how to be happy so I suspect i’ll Self destruct. She does give me a funny feeling in my stomach though. It’s nice to feel that again.

How are you lovely people?

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
gadget:
@korbendallas That's the part that scares me the most. "The never the same" part. I just want ME back. God damn it.
korbendallas:
@gadget stay strong homie. The never the same is not as grim as it sounds. My father has functioned and worked for years dealing with everything that is wrong with him. You know you better than anyone, now you have to figure yourself out a little more. You will, you will always be though.

So

6

The coworker I can’t stand for some odd reason has started to sing all the time now. It sounds like a soft mumbling......and it has a nails to a chalkboard affect on me. I feel just like JD in this scrubs scene.

Also, i’m always wearing headphones but I tell everyone that I can hear just fine if they call my name. Every time she...
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Monday

10

I go in for my heart exam. Stress level 100%

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

Today marks 30 days that i have been meat (some fish) and sugar free. It’s been brutal hahaha. But, I did it. If all goes well with my heart exam I get to move into stage 2. Fingers crossed.

Hope you all are doing well. ❤️❤️❤️

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