Firstoff I wanted to give a shout out to the lovely Miss Tenacioussfor being the inspiration and motivation to write this... I'll try to do this relatively often... but no promises.
Anyway... just wanted to write about something that'd been on my mind lately.
"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well, yet...
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Anyway... just wanted to write about something that'd been on my mind lately.
"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well, yet...
Read More
I always think about when Im older. When Ill be reminising about today. I feel like currently in my life I am happy. But not necessarily as happy as i could be. Im scared to get older and look back and not be able to say " i looked so good when I was yonger, I wish I had that body back." In all honesty, while Im by no means hideous, Im not happy that at my age I weigh as much as I do, or that im as inactive as I am, or eat junk food the way I do. Its horrible. Im scared to get old because my lifestyle now will have me leading a poor life later. Doesnt matter what I tell myself, I dont think when Im faced with a night of binge drinking or a handful of halloween chocolate.
I often feel like I never got to party like my friends did because of a relationship i wound myself in for 7 years starting when i was 16. I regret not being able to be stupid with my friends. I resent my ex and myself for that.
Im lucky enough to have a job that I enjoy and a roof over my head. I have a boyfriend, however he has not been truthful to me our entire relationship and im not convinced Ive ever began to trust him again. I feel like sometimes im short siding myself for being with him. I love him to death but theres always these doubts.
I guess we never feel fully staisfied with what we have and even when we are 70, will we then? Doubt it.