You lie there in shadow,
your body a dark hole
dug to some other level.
Slowly, I lower my hands in
like canaries.
If you respond, warm them,
send them back alive,
then I can set them free,
follow their path down into you.
But if some remark
like a tendon
sharpened on the wind of your tongue
should snag them,
been away from computers and media in general for 24 hrs and let me just say how good it feels . . . felt?
busted out onto the town last afternoon/eve/night. got painted and attended a club opening with free food/ aka all of providence was there. did so much catching up, largely with people i haven't seen in 1-2 years. now the pressure's off... Read More
I think it's super you're moving back in together. I doubt this really applies, but I want to tell a story. Tumultuous (sp?) on again off again punk rock relationships should be savored for all they're worth.
One of my choice memories from the early 90's:
Will "the juggernaught" and girlfriend Samantha were having their usual drunken Sunday morning tiff across the street. Lane & I were enjoying a beverage, chatting and keeping an eye on them for entertainment purposes. Amidst the yelling Sam gets in the truck to leave. She has to pull out of the garage in the alley and come around the street in front to get anywhere. Will comes running around front, she's got the truck screeching sideways making the turn onto the street. Will gets into the middle of the street and stands there giving her two middle fingers, Sam puts the pedal to the floor fully intending to run Will over. Will jumps aside, but punches the door with all he's got and yells "I LOVE YOU, BITCH !!!!" at the back of the truck as she speeds away. He moseys over to show off his bloody knuckles and bum a beer. Not one to be sidetracked by rational thought he shared his troubless: "I love her so damn much guys, I don't know what to do." I'm going to KICK HER FUCKING ASS."
blah blah blah guilt blah blah discipline blah blah escape blah blah blah blah blah blah refusal of most to admit we're all suffering blah blah blah blah headache blah blah blah fantasies of giving up blah blah my shame others' shame just shut up and adore me blah blah blah people who don't see their own faults v. people who do blah blah how... Read More
It is an interesting thought, that when you write journals like this, are you addressing yourself or other people?
Even though other people may read it,I write it as a conversation with myself. To work things through in my own mind. Do I?
Entering the realms of Beckett maybe?
Back again (can't keep away it seems!) Yes, your "Favourites" are cool too, in fact you have "interesting" answers for everything. That is an "interesting" with the best possible meaning. 'Though save Stevie Smith and Michael Cunningham I'll have to google your book list.
The bus groans around the corner, so bright school-yellow I could wretch. One enormous tire winds to a halt right in front of me. I smell its black rubber. A few heads swivel toward us, their breath blurring the window glass, and the accordion door stamps open.
public school sucked so hard. all twelve + years of it. i was so little, hunched over a... Read More
i miss corresponding with prisoners, but it can take lots of energy. people get invested really quickly. i can still send books to folks semi-annonymously tho.
i get these quiet spells where my "voice" feels locked and quiet. i try to plough through it... Read More
I still haven't figured out what it means to claim
revolutionary change when all that is going on is
an exchange of bad gender roles!
At a Christmas Party the Mitchell Brothers once
held for their dancers, the women hired those beefcake
guys who wear leather chaps over their own naked asses,
and really do hump like bucking horses to the sighs and
excitement of most of the women present. Chippendales?
All of it is taking sex in a direction in so many ways the
direct opposite of how and where I find it a divine comfort
to relax, laugh, and show a little heartfelt passion.
It's also weird to be around those few male on male pick up districts in San Francisco, and watch the pretty little
high school boys climb into the cars with the old fat bankerss. I feel like taking a baseball bat, at times, and
add to coarsening of our current social environments.
I particularly like I lower my hands in like canaries