...at ten till ten in the evening, my dad took his last breath. Over a week later, it still doesn't feel real that he's gone. I have more to say about this in a future blog post...but for now, I'm just kind of still numb.

missjessarae:
I'm so sorry.  I can imagine ur feeling numb.  Sending strong vibes ur way.  
All of the things you want to do before you die. When someone asks what is on yours, or when they start listing off theirs, it's always a grand list of mystical locations that you'd love to visit in far off lands, or measures of material success in life. I was guilty of that. I had things like "Go to Egypt and see...
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I got an email this morning that I'm not sure how to handle. It was from an ex-girlfriend of mine (the only one of all my ex's that went so far as to plan a wedding and buy a house with me)...now, we haven't spoken in nearly ten years (the exception being four years ago when she and her new husband...
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galaxy42:
@madmaxthehatter if it was, everyone else was bcc'd on it. It appears to have been sent to me only, and the HST thing was very specific to our time together. I was reading all his books and was a pretty big fan at that point. Adding to the strangeness of it all, I thought of her for the first time in a few years just last Friday. The universe is fucking with me...
madmaxthehatter:
Then I would reply if you liked it but otherwise I would let it slide. at least its not the first contact in years and the showed up at your door.
“You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.” -The Doctor

I just spent the better part of the day at the hospital with my dad. He's been in since last Saturday. This is his sixth hospital stay since May. The cancer has opened the door to a reoccuring bout of pneumonia. He can't fucking shake it. Every other time, he's been motivated to get out as soon as possible...this time, it...
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pipercadence:
But we always carry the weight.  It doesn't go away.  But we suck it up, ingest it and it becomes part of a new us.  If we don't, we never grow.
galaxy42:
Perhaps that is true...but forgiving yourself makes it lighter. At least, it does for me. But I've only really learning to forgive myself kinda recently, relatively speaking.

...on a goddamned thing. It's like someone disconnected parts of my brain, so that they still function, but don't communicate with any other region of the grey mass of jelly that keeps me (somehow) moving through my days. In those rare moments that I'm able to hang onto a thought for more than five minutes, I think that I need to start...
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adamchase:
I've been there. Good luck! http://theconsciouslife.com/how-to-meditate-a-guide-for-beginners.htm
pipercadence:
agh grey matter.  Why are you so complicated.  Brain stuff.  Fuuuuuck. 

My dad is dying of cancer. Unless we can do it in Bill Murray movie quotes, he and I don't have a great history in communicating our feelings to--or about--one another. A couple of weekends ago, as we passed in the hallway, I stopped and gave him a very long hug. I told him that I loved him. He patted me on the back...
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capitu:
Man, this is love. I'm really sorry for you, I can't even imagine what you've been through. Be strong! Love <3