doctorskinny

I just climbed into the attic to see what has been making all the chirping, growling, mewling, barking, fornicating noises (despite warnings from every horror movie ever made, I only went armed with a police-brutality sized mag-light and a super-soaker). I didn't see any squirrels or raccoons or claw-shimps or Japanese children. There was nary an asbestos crazed David Caruso in sight. What I did...
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"Um. You know why your house is so cold during the winter?"
"It's a shit hole?"
"Yeah, there's that, but there's also a huge hole in the attic. Your insulation is all wet."
"You hired some real winners to work on this place before I moved in."

I'm not really bitching about it though -- this place provides me with comedy. Exploding mice, dive-bombing bats,...
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My dad's sister-in-law is over from England and she's great. I didn't realize how starved I was for a cynical turn of phrase and a lack of a new-agey, AmeriCanadian mindset.

What the fuck is with trying to be nice all the time. It doesn't work. People do ridiculous things and it's left alone. We're to respect others opinions (even if they're retarded) and to...
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Today was Kingston day! Let me regale you with a point form story about Canada's former capital:

As hot as I look in women's pants, this high waisted shit just doesn't work for me. Really hot though. Hot. I could be in HIM if they were low waisted.

Comic book store regulars are weird. I listened to them use Star Wars as a metaphor for...
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I have a leather jacket and a headache! These two things are not related!

How hard do you think it would be for someone who sucks at snowboarding to get a job at a ski resort? Preferably a ski resort in either Banff or BC. I've got a friend in Banff whose girlfriend is in BC, so I could impose upon them.

If I don't...
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Who wants Gmail?

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-daff4a86d9-28b62ed3f2
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-dea57b1372-981c0a5cec
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-a7565c6314-10d3404c92
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-58f1958584-237e886fa2
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-856476bca3-694dfed076
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-52a8d26b5e-de455c0f16-e0352c2889

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I'm still debating whether I want to put my "everything tastes better with curry" hypothesis to the ice cream test. Is there a market for edible IcyHot?

My olfactory memories are going crazy. I'm "smelling" things that I haven't smelled in years which leads to picture perfect memories that I haven't thought about in years and more smells related to those memories. A nasal cascade reaction.

It's friggin' unsettling.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse had Milla Jovovich in it, so I can't complain. Oh wait, yeah I can -- other than Milla Jovovich it...
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It's not that I hate animals. It's that animals provide a level of comedy surpassed only by American politics, my underwear and whale farts. Tonight on my drive to the convenience store for my usual dose of corn syrup and it's cousin, the corn chip, I almost hit a bunch of animals because animals suck at crossing the road.

1. A skunk.
2....
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What came first -- the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?

People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries...
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