destro

i hate waiting more than anything...
nah, i hate not knowing more than waiting.
....and now i feel like a monster.

last night was a rough night. i forced myself to go out with the old crew. i drove over to nate and jamie's house, and rode wit them up to the bar. the old crowd was still there, right where i left them so long ago. we drank beers, drank shots, had all the same conversations that we had before, threw darts, watched people start...
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so i did nothing last night. just went to sleep.
woke up at about 4:30. couldn;t get to sleep, so i decided to just get out of the house and go do something.
i went and cut firewood till about 8 oclock or so.
i'm kind of tired now, sore. bruised.
it made me think.... no matter how hard a tree is or how big...
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i gotta do something tonight.....

Shove All Your Problems Under The Rug
Then You Wonder Where The Smell Came From
Rotting Out From The Inside
This Is Your Fucked Up Family
So Many Minds That Nobody Ever Speaks
Rotting Out From The Inside.....Rotting Out
Nuclear Family Falling Out
Winter Forever In This House, They'Re
Rotting Out From The Inside
So Put Me Out Of My Misery
If It Ever Happens...
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a new day, no sleep and a new perspective on things.
it's sunny out. but i'm cold.
we'll see how today goes.....

alright kids. i can't be here anymore.
it's been fun, but i'm done.
me and finch are officially over, so she says.
i can't be here where it's to easy to run across her, reminding me of the pain of not having the one thing i truely love.
laters for good.

i want this back. i know it can work if i am allowed to...
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i am done.
_____________________________

now we are done.
fuck this shit.

i will never give up
i will never give in
on something that i beleive is so true.
till i take my last breath.
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i did something thismorning i swore i would never do again.
after making a stupid choice to try something i felt i had to do , i returned with my tail between my legs.
i sat down and talked with...
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i feel sick.

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