dave82

Well I've been just outright depressed. I know when I'm upset because I try to make myself feel better with food and I ate so much this weekend.What kinds of things happened to me? Nothing. Just lotsa time to spend with myself. Fucking hell. -dave

Didn't end up going to Kentucky this week, in the end, because we had a major storm take out a good portion of our equipment at a group of stations in Virginia. It was one of those scenes where there are four people huddled around outside at night working on a solution with our generators & halogen lights blaring. Fun but exhausting. I worked a...
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Today: one step forward, two steps back. Feeling very needy today but kept myself under control. I probably won't sleep very well tonight as a result. I'm going out of town on business to Kentucky until Friday. I may have email & AIM access but no SG access. Leave some nice messages and I'll love you forever. -dave

You should all be proud of me today because I am. I got through today with only a few negative thoughts. -dave

I have been so bitter, angry, spiteful, & mean spirited lately. I've been trying to guilt and manipulate people. I really hate myself and it shows. -dave

I'm left up in the air about people. I don't have any healthy relationships right now. Every single last one of them is tainted, complicated, fucked or deterioted. I'm so goddamn tired of putting up with bullshit. I don't know why I can't be normal. I sit at home and beat myself up trying to get myself to be sociable. Once every couple weeks I...
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Looking at my past entries I have broken my string of daily posts from 8/1 to 8/7. Haven't had much to want to talk about lately. You know how that goes. I went out of town on work today to the Portsmouth, Ohio, area. Some people might consider that exciting. I've been watching a lot of movies; not talking to a lot of people online;...
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Let me tell you about a dream I had last night. There are really two parts that I remember with one being auxilliary to the other. The thing I remember most about the dream is that there was a girl. I don't really remember what she looked like but I remember what she made me feel. It was one of those times when you walk...
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I told my boss that my work week was so stressful and bad that it was gonna lead me to drink; and it did. Blacksburg is having a street festival right now called Stepping Out along the downtown streets. After work today I was on my way to RadioShack when I ran across a co-worker. He was on his way to the festival so I...
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This all sent me into a panic attack tonight. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

My friend sqook who used to be on this same site for years has recently moved to Germany. After living there for a day or two he decides he's lonely; goes online; finds a website with meeting people; meets a group of people; goes out on a few dates with a girl....
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So I thought I would give an actual update tonight.

- I was able to get my hands on the Family Guy movie online yesterday. I watched it tonight and it was wonderful. I think it was made before the tv show was picked back up again. It pretty much seemed like a really long Family Guy episoded. Also hiliarous was the cursing. Lois says...
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However much it frustrates me, I guess that keeping this journal allows me to say things I wouldn't otherwise be saying. I'm pretty dull to the little the goes on around me. The things that happen to me are not exciting and are not even worthy of journaling about. I don't even think I have one thing that I'm proud to talk about in the...
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