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I retired from petty vandalism in my late teens, but these hospital ads at bus stops and on billboards around town that say "My________ hurts" are really tempting. I've been toying with the idea of buying some spray paint. I mean, these ads are asking for it. If only I could think of some catchy slang words for male genitalia.
niobe:
Do it!
stcyr:
My SENATOR hurts (everyone)


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I attended my first meeting of CTA (Compulsive Thinkers Anonymous) last night, and I am 12 steps away from thoughtless bliss.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
casper:
what? is that real? stare at MTV long enough. thoughtless bliss awaits you....
cotten:
If you join Casper, that'll make two in CTA and that makes it real.
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Things will get a lot easier for me once everyone realizes I'm the messiah.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
stcyr:
Word will spread. For example, people keep asking me why I genuflect towards L.A. five times per day - well, at least those who dont assume Im a Muslim with horrible geographic orientation.
cotten:
Yes, excellent. Keep spreading the word and I'll give you 15% of my monthly take as a messiah.
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Allow me to burst your bubble. The world is just meat and concrete - the rest is all bullshit invented by the human mind.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
stcyr:
s0cks:
What's wrong with that?
0
I am a raven with a bad case of mange but who can still fly...just barely.
0
I know it's true love when even her halitosis is a turn on.
stcyr:
Ah-ha! Ive been wondering where Cotten has been recently. . . now it has all become clear as mud . . .
cotten:
Just words...I'm face down in the mud. Eating sludge. (Hmmm, that's uplifting.)
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Due to financial problems, I'm going back on the game. If anybody needs an escort, please let me know.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cotten:
Just business. Doesn't mean anything. I'll be thinking of you while I escort.
misslmg:
lol that's very respectable of you.
0
I think it's time to melt down the Statue of Liberty and sell off the copper to help pay for the war in Afghanistan.
automatic_lover:
hey that was only the first day
rayo:
Buuullllshiiiit


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Enter to win Be Cotten For A Day Sweepstakes! Fly to glamorous Los Angeles (assuming you can afford the ticket); Stay in a luxurious low-income apartment (on the couch) in LA's premier East Side; Drink coffee with Cotten, listen to his lectures on the state of the world, and learn how to lose consistently and gracefully from one of Hollywood's biggest losers; Travel...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
pini:
ahahah I want toooo!!. except I probably wont bee weeping on the couch is that alright?
cotten:
I guess you don't have to weep. But I don't know what else you'd do.
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I'm sick & tired of the poor quality of blow-up dolls these days. I remember when I first turned eighteen, back when blow-up dolls were made in America, all those plastic ladies I bought from the erotic store lasted long enough for our relationships to really mean something. It would take months and months of dating and countless all-night love-making sessions before the doll would...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
stcyr:
don't forget the bourbon!
sweetkc:
Hahahaa
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As of last night, the girl of my dreams is green in hue, has legs long enough to be classified as tentacles, has a face that oscillates from tender love to tender hate, and will not rest until she's sated. World hear me now! I will find this girl. I will.
automatic_lover:
I wish youd come live with me
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I am growing a beard. A really long beard. Then I'm moving to a mountaintop. That's right, a mountaintop high above your local religious institution. And I'm going to sit on that mountaintop with a serene poise and wait. Wait for people who search low and high for truth. And when they ask for the truth with a capital T, I will...
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