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the past few days have been really cleansing in a lot of ways. yesterday it rained for the first time in a long time and i spent most of the day either reading dante's "inferno" or sleeping. i walked around outside in a sundress listening to my SG namesake song (the xiu xiu cover of course) and everything smelled like rain and spring and rebirth....
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heavyhitterlarry:
how did you end up doing in your russian lit class? i think you posted a blog where you thought you might fail
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so everything got fucked up this week somehow. every fucking thing.

-my "friend's" accusations against me and subsequent -half-hearted apology.
-the ex that matters IMing me and going from being a bastard to being an emotional puddle that i couldn't comprehend. we probably won't ever speak again.
-the realization that everyone i date only wants to emotionally drain me somehow because they need "saving" in...
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rebel_rebel:
i am sorry to hear that your shit has been fucked up lately, dear.

iggy pop is precisely what you said. biggrin

ARRR!!! skull
jbullet:
hello my fellow ny native, how are things with you?
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i just had someone whom i thought was a friend accuse me of stealing his laptop, changing his passwords to pretty much every email/networking site he uses, and sending out a private email to the student listserv. he didn't stop until i burst out crying and asked how he could even accuse me of doing such a thing, because i could never imagine doing that...
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preacher255:
Wow, Steve accused you of that cluster fuck? Jesus, I'm so sorry. What an asshole.
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for most of tonight i was better as far as the achiness in my body was concerned, at least until i got back to my room. natalia made me lots of tea and i got a decent amount of reading done while studying with her and, later, kate.

however.

i think i've made a mistake.

i am really overexcited by intellectual concepts and i need...
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preacher255:
Feel better! Also, seriously stop with that self loathing shit. I found the Dalidean (SP...right word?) concept cool, just, you know, over my head.
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well, i certainly didn't expect my weekend to turn out quite as awesome as it did.

i ended up nice and drunk - very drunk - on both friday and saturday nights. dance tutorial was awesome and so were the one-act plays. the kiss your queer crush wall wasn't so fun on its own but between my drunken state and the fact that i had...
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heavyhitterlarry:
dunno if you read comics, but right before serenity came out in theaters, whedon wrote a 3 issue serenity comic miniseries that was a prequal to the movie. each issue had 3 different covers to cover all the characters. they are kind of hard to find now
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re: writing papers - FUCK THAT SHIT.

re: "firefly" - i understand why everyone's obsessed with that show. i have a feeling i'm going to be as nerdy as everyone else about it soon.

re: comic books - i love z-cult FM. yay to torrenting comics. i downloaded every single preacher comic (all sixty-something of them!) and am getting all of "the sandman." hopefully i'll...
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anbuvampyre:
I was going to tell you to read Y The Last Man if you liked Preacher. I like it WAY better and they are very similar. But Circus already said Y the last Man is beast tongue. Powers is really good too. I would tell you other good stuff but I read so many comics I can't remember what is good anymore...

I watched Firefly when it was on TV, everyone else is late on the trend!
nikoli20:
Oh my god....I love preacher. You must instruct me on how to download them. I've read 5 so far. Which one are u up to?

[Edited on May 05, 2006 5:21PM]
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for fuck's sake, i really shouldn't reward myself on a tuesday night with a bottle of crappy arbor mist wine (which tastes like juice) and "the big lebowski." and "the big lebowski" drinking game. i had a lot of fun with kate but once i began to wander on my own my mind also began to wander into places that i shouldn't go, especially in...
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alexstar6:
"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
-Albert Einstein

Perhaps it's not the best quote for this situation. However, if nothing else it shows that even people we think of as almost "inhuman" had problems in their lives.

One that helps me alot whenever I'm feeling that way is this...

"The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else."
- Arnold Bennett

I don't know if anything I write will help keep you from falling apart too badly... but I hope that you don't feel so alone.
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ah, the comedy of errors that is my life. i never know whether to laugh or cry. i usually laugh but now i think i just want to smoke all the rest of my cigarettes.

i also have no fucking clue how to tell people how i feel about them. it hasn't been a problem for me in a long time, especially in an environment...
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rebel_rebel:
don't we all? wink

hope things work out for you, doll.

ARRR!!! skull
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today was almost bizarrely beautiful and a study in contrast.

the power went out in my dorm and pretty much everywhere else and i ended up sleeping through my russian class as a result. it couldn't be helped, so instead i settled down to read for my varieties of modern judaism class.

i went out to lunch with a few friends who knocked on my...
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heavyhitterlarry:
deep and thoughtful

i don't have a dog, but i want one, especially when i go to petland. the petsmart in bradenton sucks, so i don't go there much. but there is a petland on the fruitville road exit next to target. they always have cute puppies.
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this entire past week has been, for the most part, amazing. things got off to a very bad start, as any week kicking off with an unexpected breakup would. after the breakup, however, life made a total 180 (karmic debts being paid off?). whatever it was, i received academic confirmation, a completely unexpected privately-funded scholarship, alleviated housing worries on-campus next year (yay!), and lots and...
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preacher255:
I'm glad the rest of your week went well. blackeyed
preacher255:
I should also mention that you are not implicated with the rest of the Novo Collegians in that statement, at least in my book that is.

I appreciate you not lacing into me about my comment, but you are exactly right.

I don't know if I got it across in the post but it is b/c I know I can't handle a living, breathing, inevitably-emotion-and-issue-filled female human that I am ok with just being alone for now.

Also, when are you going to get your tattoo huh?
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finding out that i've wasted the past month and a half or so of my life on someone who really didn't deserve my time or effort or caring sucked. being woken up from a nap expressly for this news flash was probably even worse.

i need to stop making these sorts of mistakes with people i date. as in, i need to stop picking people...
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heavyhitterlarry:
you are not alone in having that happen to you. don't waste any time thinking about him or the failed relationship. you will find a nice guy that will love you and treat you the way you deserve. can't promise it will happen soon, but it will happen eventually.
annikki:
Countdown ughhh... *calculates*... 15 hours! Yaaaaaay!
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spring break update: i'm not as isolated as i had been previously but i'm almost as lonely and having a pretty shitty self-esteem day.

but last night was pretty awesome, with a denny's outing with kat & kristin (and newcomer dave) for old time's sake, and then a SEXXY PARTY! i thought it would just be us drinking skyy melon vodka with whatever we could...
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substitute:
No need for shitty self asteem you are beautiful!!
annikki:
Oh baby we are the sex. Yep. The sex.