0
So I talked tough. The truth is I hate love. I hate when I fall in love. It's only happened a few times in my life really. A few others I could see how a woman had this perfection about her and could imagine the ways we could make eachother happy but I knew those wouldn;t work out. I could picture them when...
Read More
cahrizz:
then you see you got another text. "I;m sorry for not talking to you. I just need some time right now." But does it mean time because oh shit I'm thinking deeply about you shit? Or is it I need some time because I'm really fucking busy at the end of the semester because I'm fucking taking 21 credit hours and extracurricular activities? Do women purposely try to drive us nuts. My sense is I freaked out but she doesn;t want to say it because she's not sure what to do with me combined with the end of the sememster bull shit. It scares me to death...figuratively. I mean there's a ton of rad chics out there but my standards are pretty high so that sort of limits them. I require high intelligence, independent/strong-minded and good-looking. But I forgot to list caring as a high quality. Fuck this limbo shit sucks. In a week she'll be home. A week ago an ex-boyfriend was mentioned. A fucking ex out the blue mentioned as in the life. He threatened her basically. Saying she should quit her job or he'd have her fired. But it was the way she said it all. The details that were left out. I'm battering around in a small room I like to call denial. It's done I think. And it'll make me sad. but I've fucking had enough of that in my life. I don't want to waste another day for a long time being sad in any fucking way. But it's gonna happen, I know it. It's how the pysche heals itself. But fuck. My metaphorical heart's starting to become knotted and scarred up. I mean how will I ever trust another girl after this? Another one. It's been a bad streak. I'll have to date a girl and dump her just to make believe i have some control over life. Fuck.
0
I declare war on all women. I decided to be nice to my girlfriend and as predictable as can be she's gone and pissed me off.

That was my final attempt at having a relationship. It's possible she's lost her phone. It's possible she's been busy or some ungodly thing has happened. But I generally have a sense for these...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cahrizz:
Oh no, it doesn't surprise me in the least. Learned about that a while back. I'm just a stupid and unable to throw away my ideals. I wanted that intimate friendship thing. But I'm fairly sure I fucked that one up some years back and until sometime in the future when things happen to work out in some amazingly lucky way I'm just going to be true to my nature as a manwhore.

Hopefullly I'll run into a lot of girls that like it hard and fast, ropes, chains and some pain.
cahrizz:
Oh she phoned me Monday and said she decided to take a mini-vacation, went camping didn't take her phone and was sorry for not telling me grudgingly so. HA! I'm thinking I'm still going have me my fun summer. If anyone's interested I frankly go all night. My immediate goal is to get the girl off eight times before I go my first time. Everyonce in a while there's a girl that knows some tricks and disrupts that a bit. But I'm usually not the one saying I'm sore and need to stop. So if anyone needs a good shag and nothing more and you're decent looking enough I'll be your living sex toy for a night and if you're good enough and appreciative enough I may even give you an encore performance.
0
I imagine this free account thing should end fairly soon so I'll be out.

Besides I'm out and about enjoying life, so not so much time to always waste my time on the internet.

The thing is most of you can't understand why someone like me enjoys being a warrior except when you feel the excitement in a film. You might even...
Read More
0
Why are women so fucking easy to please? How are their men out there that don't have a clue what they're doing? It's so fucking easy. I can almost go step by step with slight variations. Because you always need variation of speed and thrust, tongue, what you say to them.

And why do women not trust good men? When ever I...
Read More
kottonkandy:
most men are assholes so by the time we find a good guy, we can't believe he's actually nice. we're kinda just waiting for the moment when we can say "i knew you were an asshole too!"
cahrizz:
lol. That's fairly true but short-sited. I could say that most women are gold diggers looking for a guy to take the place of their fathers as well. But that would also be short-sited. It would betray an insecurity. To me at the base it has to do with fear and hardwiring. I feel for you girls now a days. It seems to me many of you are confused by your societal roles. Now that you are able to do anything you want you're still being tugged at traditional roles. I experience the confusion myself, just not quite at the same level. But I think it's the root of the fear that some guy's just using you for your body and not interested in developing a friendship as well. Or rather developing a friendship that is expressed in it's highest form by physical intimatacy. Place two people in that and well fear expressed is usually leads to misunderstanding, then frustration or anger. Then seal it off in a label that santifies the situation and provides a sense of security to move on but be careful in the future contacts.

Fuck it. Take a chance. Learn to trust yourself and hone your skills at being able to be open and judgmental of character at the same time. Be yourself and let the die fall where they may.
0
I'm hitting a sweet spot in life.

I don't care about all the bull shit. Insecurties are fleeing in a masss drove of obviously not needed fears or concerns. My life has bourne out my ability to surivive some pretty harsh situations. I have been trained to kill and to save lives. I'm more about wisdom than straight up knowledge. I guess...
Read More
tita:
Congratulations! So nice to hear when someone is hitting their stride wink
0
I don't want to overly concern myself with politics but since a bunch of fucking criminals are trying to steal my rights I have been paying more attention lately.

Last night I listened to Obama's speech. This from the guy who promised change and not more of the same. He made the same promises I have heard before and offered up the same...
Read More
cutejazzgirl:
I know how to deal with blisters. Nine years of breaking in figure skating boots, and eight years and counting of pointe (ballet) shoes. I find it easier to just break it all the way open and let it "air out" as much as possible. And yea it gets hard and gross but meh. I only tape the thing when I have to wear shoes.
0
I hears it you but it's one of those strange days, strange weeks. Might be moving back to Chitown, starting a magazine, finally putting in work on a project, trying to make sure I spend enoug time listening to good music, riding this wonderful wave of danger sensing something big is happening which kept me from opening my cafe at least delaying it for...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sonofapunk:
Oh... If you want different... We're definitely there! We're like punk, ska, reggae, metal, with hints of rockabilly/psychobilly and acoustic folk.

I can't wait for you to hear it! I'm excited to see how you like it now! biggrin
cutejazzgirl:
Jazz is a lot of taking standards and making them your own. Messing with the tempo, messing with the combo arrangement, and of course, solos. I think it's more musically creative than simply covering another bands song. (I have a jazz fake book, that is like 300 pages long. All standards. All free for me to make my own.)

And yea, my unoriginal swallow tattoos. They commemorate that I survived a suicide attempt at a college I was majorly depressed at five years ago. I got them done five years to the day. Swallows and good luck and hope, but that hasn't been the case with me lately.

Oh and Desmodena wrote me a note trying to bitch me out. Too bad she still sucks.
0
i'm doing well. just came back to st. louis from michigan after a month. i think i stumbled upon my identity. strange how a war can rob you of that. or maybe i just finally opened my eyes to the brutal reality that is our world.

i don't mean that in a tragic way. i see a person behaving horridly and yet there...
Read More
0
a long time ago this place was different smaller.

not long ago i used to be alive.

not long ago i never thought of killing myself as viable solution.

not long ago i wasn't much afraid of anything.

a few minutes ago i felt good; i felt alive for the first time in so long. a short second ago the music in my ears...
Read More
lillithvain:
just stopping by to say hello
lillithvain:
hello to you. how are you doing?
0
if only i could write again. the anxiety, the trepidation... trying to understand too much and not trusting or placing enough faith in myself.

i've been watching a lot of interesting film of late, ranging from zeitgeistthemovie.com to eastern promises.

making money i don't care about. reading an interesting book other colours essays and a story by orhan pamuk a nobel winner...
Read More
sonofapunk:
Hello SuicideGirls friend! This message is copied and pasted, but that doesn't mean I don't still love you, it simply means I prefer the ability to play bass as opposed to carpal-tunnel-from-re-typing! Haha!

Regardless...

If you can read this, that means I would really appreciate it if you were to check out my band, The Wrecktals! We just recorded a demo, and a couple tracks are up on MySpace, and then a track-or-two-that's-not-on-MySpace is on FaceBook.

CLICK THIS BIG PINK SET OF WORDS TO VISIT OUT MYSPACE!!!

We really wanna make friends with you! Seriously! That's one thing that a lot of bands hate... There's this nice fat fucking gap between fan and artist. Fuck that gap. Gaps need to be fucked. Fuck it! The Gap that is! So go there! And tell us what you think!

And if you are super-friendly and rad and awesome! You caaaan...

CLICK THIS OTHER SET OF BIG PINK WORDS TO VISIT OUR FACEBOOK PAGE!!!

And again, please tell us what you think! And if you know anybody who likes their punk and ska and hardcore... Please pass the good word on! biggrin

Look! We're like Rancid! Can we have some street cred now?


Wigglywigglywiggly!


This band is my baby. We are going to be successful (in terms of creating that feeling in someone's chest when they hear that song they love, not "successful" as in "money"). It's our dream and it's gonna happen through our own hard work and passion and love for radness!

But like I said, we have a demo out. You pay $4 and you get eight (wicked-quality) tracks that last almost half-an-hour, some sweet DIY eye-candy, and instant immortality/karma! That's right! Everyone who buys our demo will have their name immortalized somewhere on the next release! So make sure we know who you are! We want to thank each and every one of you who actually listened to us!

We're playing lots of rad underground shows and we support all of those who make music for the sake of creation and expression. I've been to every fucking band I can imagine within five-bajillion-miles of me, so the favour better be returned!

My name is Christoph, but most people call me Slut (short for PunkerSlut)... And you can call me Susan, if it makes you happy... But on behalf of The Wrecktals, thank you for your time! I hope you like us!

'Cause if you read all this, it means we already like you!

Live. Love. Unity.
0
i figured i'd being doing more posts and what this year like i once did but i have been busy busy busy.

i am feeling like a slave. i supposedly live in a free country where everyday we lose more and more freedom and stretch out an empire contrary to what this country is supposed to be.

due to those facts i would only...
Read More
0
hey man happy new year and boxing day and shit. and great set honey, you make being sexy what it is: easy, dangerous, drunken daggers tipping scales of possibilities, shysters' dreams making the pick up artist dance and recompense with hospitable despair, the kind of jarred up excitement a lightening bug promises a child who still dreams of fairies and monsters under the bed.

other...
Read More
argonautgod:
Never underestimate the power of the Scottish accent. biggrin

Merry New Year, man. Good to see you're in fine spirits.