boundcreature

Real Update...

I wonder what it was like to be alive at a time when one's primary objective was to secure food, shelter and a mate... and not die. It is exactly that type of single-minded focus that leads to accomplishment.

My discipline has been weak as of late. When you push yourself hard, yet have no idea of what you are doing, all you...
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hi landlord, the toilet's not working properly, i mean, it's not clogging, it's just not flushing completely, it's not a big deal, just a little irritating.

ok, i get you new one.



three hours later, he installs a new friggen toilet.

best. landlord. ever.

***

i need a second job, please recommend something profitable that you think I can do.

walk in the door, take off the tie, step out of the dress pants, step into the dickies. the interview was sanitized and thoroughly corporate, is it impolite to tell a manager that not only could you do their job as well as they could, but you could also bench press them?

i had to take a standardized test to determine how well i would...
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logged in 13.5 hours at work today... received one of the all-time best complements on my performance ever: it was in regards to my coworker joe, who i have been teaching some industry tricks to for the last few weeks.

Boss Guy: since you started, joe has been fucking up 700% less than normal.

today was a fair amount of time in the bucket truck....
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i am not qualified to be a...

waiter.

i taught myself graphic design and worked at a professional level for two years and i am not qualifed to be a...

waiter.

i grew up in restaurants and worked in all of the other positions except waiter, busser or bartender and i am not qualifed to be a...

waiter.

the quest begins tomorrow for putting in...
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i washed my hair today. the last time i did this... well, i can't remember, i think it may have been in july.

also, i got to operate the bucket truck today at work. never done that before. feel manly.

New Skinny Puppy DVD... I am wet with anticipation... someone should totally buy it for me... I had never heard a Skinny Puppy song before and two summers ago I went to see them play in Boston because I was bored and because I wanted to see the opening band (who I can't seem to remember at this moment, but I think it was a...
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I'm currently scheming a way to get back into teaching martial arts... I need to find a place to work-out and get back in shape, then I may go back to Pennsylvania for two weekends to train with some of the higher-ranking black belts and if I feel confident enough, I will ask my instructor to test me for my second degree black belt. I've...
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Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Fictional depictions of sexuality between consenting adults: illegal. Actual wholesale slaughter of foreign civilians: legal.

Buy the ultra-realistic army video...
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last night i dreamt that i dyed my hair and shaved it into a bright green mohawk. i was slightly depressed when i woke up to find that i hadn't done so. i think this is some kind of a sign.

Everything that I ever wanted to be seems so far away. The years of my life striving, fighting and pushing against invisible boundaries reveal themselves not as a forward march to a coveted goal, but as a misdirected trial of strength. What was I even doing for these last few years? What was I trying to become?

I am dependent. I need the assistance of...
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When was the last time you got laid while Smashing Pumpkins was playing in the background?

Betcha said 1995.

In your face! I did it three nights ago!

***

In other news, I am getting fat. Is it possible to be eating because you are depressed but also in a great mood?

<b>Doo!</b>