Dearest Bons, Firstly I thank you for your kind donations. All the children in my village are now fully immunised. Secoundly, your seminars on sanitary procedures were a godsend. The Lynx body spray you bought me has me beating off the local woman with a shitty stick like a Mac Daddy. Thanks to a local importer we all smell of citrus and coconut thanks to the soaps you helped to import. Dysentery in our village is a thing of the past thanks to you. I also thank you for your Texan chicken wings recipie, what a conversation starter! Matook thanks you for getting rid of the curse our angry menopausal shaman put on him for his ill advised remarks about how her ass looked big in that grass skirt. We've renamed the main thoroughfare after you, Bons St. We have just just released our own Monopoly board game and this is the most exclusive street fetching 10 million chuckas ($6 Aus) per visit with a hotel. Anyway, the momument we made to you is almost complete, it's 25 metres high and is the focal point of Bons St plaza. We miss you and hope you come back to visit our island. PS, Prime Minister Mabutu has requested your hand in marriage, he has set the dowry at 75 oxen, 146 goats, a Sega Mega Drive and a 1979 Datsun 180B.