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The black widows on my skin, they plague my body, crawling and itching and biting......They can smell my blood, running from the crease of my arms, and they suck, and they feed and infest.....Every drop makes them stronger as they rush to the source of my crimson fuel.....and they breach my bruised skin and race into my veins.....I feel them scattering to my extremities, draining...
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doll_:
Also have been thinking about you. Glad to see you posting again, however cryptic. Hope you are doing as well as you can be.


notraps_spiltoh:
<3
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Update for the ones out there who have shown me love and extended kind, supportive words...You know who you are...

For those of you who read my last blog, you know i have been having a hard time staying sober. It was a rapid downward spiral, and I'm hoping today is a new day for me. Yesterday I OD'd shooting cocaine....I got out of the...
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orchid:
I am happy you are okay... I know you are stronger than this love... you have been gone through so much already...I believe in you... if you need anything message me.. much love <33
doll_:
I truly believe that you can, and will do this.

You know the seriousness of an od. You know that the likely hood of surviving multiple od's is pretty slim. The math on that isn't rocket science. It's a choice now. Not an easy one by any means, though I am confident that you know what's going to happen next and what you've got to do to get through it. Out of the dark and into the light....

In lieu of getting preachy, or rambling off on an emotional wobble I defer to one of my favourite movies, Trainspotting for a couple quotes:

"This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this. There's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be? "

"I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way. "

" Thank you, your honor. With God's help I'll conquer this terrible affliction. "

Sending you thoughts dude. This is it.

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Battle begins in the minds of tormented men. The only true victory is defeating the enemies of one's own psyche. All war resides between the ears.

-anonymous
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pixiestixx:
fantastic quote!
cfq:
I'm sorry to hear about your sister and your new little niece
congratulations to her for bringing a new life

you say they have complications
and you said that you've relapsed

i really hope that you've been able to sober your self up and are on the right path because what you said is that someone out there needs you more than ever right now and you aren't truly yourself when you are doing these things to yourself. frown
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leib_:
ummm excuse me but, where have you been?
dangerdan:
wow, how long did you sit for all that?
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There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . .
a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood
I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me
and the wilderness will not let it go.





CS
leib_:
yep.
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churtch:
YAY!
orchid:
have you moved yet?
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Today is my Birthday, but i'm thinking less about that, and more about random stuff. I think that happens to me more the older I get. I start thinking about how different things are now, little things. I think its interesting how much cell phones have changed everything, making our lives totally weird. The main weird thing is that nobody has a home answering machine...
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orchid:
Happy Birthday! <3
doll_:
This was an amazing blog. My dad used to get all our family friends calling just to hear his message machine recordings as he would impersonate celebrities and make funny little skits of them answering for us. I miss the answering machine and listening to messages that people used to leave laughing their asses off.
On another note, Happy birthday. Hope this year brings with it all that you wish for.
You in your sweet new pad yet?
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rainbow:
It's really starting to look amazing! ;D Can't wait to see the finished product!
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orchid:
Looks good man! where are you moving?
ooni:
ooooh... I like it without color smile
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I hate Mondays. But things are good. Really can't complain too much. Last Friday i got another 3 hours of tattooing done on my back. Its really starting to come together. I fucking love traditional American tattoos.




Still waiting to move into my new place. Getting pretty impatient. Thats it for nowww.eeek

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i feel like i should start blogging more. Or blogging at all. Not because i think people realy want to know what i'm doing, but because its good for me to write. I think it helps me get a better sense of where i'm at in life.

Just got 5 years sober back in December. I'm pretty stoked about it. For ages i could barely...
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bobby13:
Thank you so much wink
churtch:
Congrats sugar, I am wicked proud of you, last September I celebrated 11 years drug free, not alcohol free or the every day drug like caffiene but illegal drug free!!!