atomheartmother

coming to the realization (again) that i have been relying on another person for my sense of self-worth. why the hell do i keep slipping into that foxhole? i'm 30, f'chrissakes. you'd think i'd have that shit figured out by now.

feeling pretty good today. and cute. haven't felt like that in a while.

listening to: Muslimgauze

maybe more later.

feeling better. staying up until eight in the morning playing video games with friends always helps.

listening to: Dalek

g'nite

i wish i could find you

the melodrama came to an abrupt end yesterday. how are you supposed to take a break from a break? i guess i'll know in a while.

once again i stand beaten and broken. when all is said and done, i can't figure out why i'm still trying...love is illogical and can heal almost anything, but has it reached a point where there's no reason to allow it to heal? is it like trying to rehabilitate a pathological serial killer? sometimes it feels that way.

...lies and deciet aren't colors she wears...
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an angry day. and i only just woke up!

album's finished finally. only two weeks late! woo! i've been only slept for about 4 hours in the past week, trying to get the mastering done. ever try to master a noise album? now every time i leave the house i only hear things within the context of it being music. cars, jackhammers, trains, arguments, sirens...before i had always seperated these sounds, isolated and sampled...
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you would think i would have something interesting to say by now, but...another wasted day off. i was originally going to get up and finish the album i've been working on, but i left the house for a little bit and ended up walking around town all day catching up on my people watching. i could be working on sound now, but nooooo...i'm here in...
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another sunday, another triple shift. record store to bartend to radio show. i really have to figure out why i do this to myself...