Sunday Feb 17, 2013

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...is Jaded
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squee_:

So apparently this site is so confusing to me now that I accidentally commented to a blog you posted 3 years ago instead of this one.  Or I'm just dumb. One of the two. Hope you are well. Wish you were still around.

rosehips:

I don't even know if you are still around and I know that flippant responses tend to be the norm around here, but, if you are still feeling jaded I really recommend volunteering your time some where. I used to be very jaded and a friend asked me to do some volunteer work and it helped so much. Something about helping other people changes the way you look at the world.

Wednesday Dec 08, 2010

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I love the smell of napalm in the morning!!

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. Im going to take a stand. Im going to defend it. Right or wrong, Im going to defend it.

Tell me some of your favorite movie quotes, I'm really in the mood...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:

I remember a time when you and I both updated way more often. Looks like you aren't too active anymore. Sad for me. You were always one of my favorite people on the site. Hope things are going well for you.

punkdork:

i remember a time when . . . pants were optional.

Saturday Nov 20, 2010

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Do you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?

Yeah I am well aware that the above statement is from a different Combichrist song, but this movie (The Gene Generation) was the movie that actually made me a Combichrist fan. I have always been more of an old school industrial fan, but Bai Ling in a rivet movie can make...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
squee_:

You are not fucked up. You are just different. That's not a bad thing. This would be a pretty boring world if everyone conformed to the norm.

spankster:

Don't be so down on yourself Ash. It makes no difference what music you listen to or what style of clothing, makeup, or hair you have. Hell, screw what others think of you. From the little time I knew you, I always thought you were a great person. Beautiful inside and out. I still do too. If people want to judge then let them. It's their loss, not yours. Do, dress, listen, etc to what makes you happy. And don't worry about your son, I know he'll be just fine. After all, he has a great mother and father that do whatever they can to make sure he is loved and taken care of. That's something a lot of kids don't have.

Monday May 10, 2010

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This is totally lame, my phone & internet are both shut off until I can conjure up the money to pay it. I didn't think it would be turned off for more than a week but now it's been well over a month and I feel so estranged from everyone and everything. I really miss being able to look for work online, research any...
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fitzsimmons:

Hmmm, 3 things...

I stutter. Not as much as I used to, but still often enough that I get anxious about it.

Most of the men in my family have been in prison. This had a deep impact on me. I was so determined not to have it ever happen to me that I never, ever did anything wrong. Looking back I think I was too good. I missed out on some fun times.

I have some learning disabilities. I used to be very embarrassed and would never have admitted it to anyone who didn't already know. But now I see it as something I can be proud to have dealt with. I work really hard to get what some people get with little or no effort. I think the most important thing I've learned is that it's the effort that really matters.

Hope you get your internet back soon. smile

psyche:

Sup girl... I'm back... remember me? :-)

Monday Apr 19, 2010

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It's been what seems like forever since I've had the internet at my house. It really hits you harder than you think it will, on so many levels. For one, it's the main source I use to find work/jobs/clients, it's a HUGE source of information that I rely heavily on, and it's the only way I have to...
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jekyllandhyde:

Damn, if only I did have the ability to exist outside of time....

Don't worry, one way or another, things will be okay. I mean, after all you've been through, you HAVE managed to keep a roof over your heads, you know?

thejuanupsman:

It's tough to do things without the internet these days. Hard to believe how much I rely on something I completely ignored just a decade earlier. I don't even know If I could make a living without it now.

Hope things are better since you wrote this.

Friday Mar 19, 2010

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Life is one big guerrilla warfare circle jerk.

If that line made any sense to you at all then you definitely belong here on my page. If not .. well .. whatever


Apparently the first entry in the urban dictionary for the name "Ash" is:

"That gay ass prick from pokemon."

Not so amusing. However! Some of the more suitable and interesting ones I found were ...
~Hero of...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:

Sorry about Zeikha. We lost one of pets recently too. Always tough. Hope you are doing OK.

I started to fall in love with my wife the first night I talked to her. We talked for over 8 hours that first night and by the end we were talking about how we would raise our kids. It took about 7 months for her to move in with me but we both knew it was going to happen long before that. Almost 25 years later and we are still together. Had a few rough patches but, yeah, I believe that love can happen very quickly.

I run in to this often playing online poker. Generally I just mute the person and move on. It's a little different on a forum. I guess it depends on what they are saying. From personal experience I can say that trying to defend yourself against some things just makes it worse. People are inclined to believe the worst of people sometimes and don't really care to have the truth interfere with their perception. I think the most important factor may be how it makes you feel. If confrontation and drama will make you feel bad then let it go. If holding it in and not saying anything is going to make you feel worse then by all means confront the person and say whatever nees to be said.

I always encouraged my daughter to challenge authority and that this should include her parents and her peers. That backfired on me a few times but she never really had a problem with peer pressure so I think it was worth the extra challenge it may have given me some of the time.

turbulence:

falling in love is always an "accident", moving in can happen fast, but marriage and kids needs some time and stability smile

Tuesday Feb 23, 2010

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just_eric:

~If there was one person u could find in this world that u lost touch with, who would it be?

my daughter that i gave up for adoption

Would they be happy to see u?

i would hope so


~Name me your own personal winter olympic event.

extreme snow angel making! hahaha


~Tell me how u ended up here on my journal.

havent heard from you for a long time... frown

Where are u off to next?

home

~What's the number one thing you wish would happen to you today?

that i could find 6 people to help get rich!




Monday Jan 25, 2010

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Gah, I just HAD to get rid of that shitty journal entry. I was in a bad place when I wrote that and I HATE HATE HATE sounding like a whiner. If anything, I like to poke a little fun at my sorry ass situations and get a good laugh out of it with ya'll. So ... ONWARD!

Check THIS shit out ... my sister just...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
texy:

No worries lady! It's always nice to know there are
still good people out there.. hiding.. somewhere! smile
Thankyou for taking the time to reply.

Yes, Cabin Fever rocks! It was my first
"introduction" to Eli Roth, and his madness.
Im not a fan of Hostel though.. but that man
sure has a wicked sense of humour.

Haha, fuck yes! biggrin I used to have a
Nintendo 64, and I always remember
skiting to my friends that my Mum could
clock every level on James Bond Goldeneye.
Lol !!

I hope you have an awesome
weekend pretty smile

diffieq:

I lived in IN for my first 20 years, only reason I'm down here is for work (Engineer at Nuclear Power Plant) As far as advice, it comes from personal experience, probably where some of the best advice comes from. Also why there are so many shitty therapists out there.

As far as reading your entry goes, it's because I made the mistake of reading one of your long blogs a couple years ago... I got sucked inwink and always hope to see a happy one.

Have fun in Chapel Hill, I'd love to give you some ideas of fun stuff to do on the way or while there, but I'm new to the area myself.

Friday Jan 22, 2010

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I've had it. Really. How many times does someone have to be kicked while they're down before they DONT get back up? I just wanna turn in my keys to my life and say "I'm done with this".


I can't sleep at night because I'm just terrified about what the next day will bring. When I finally DO wake up...
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jekyllandhyde:

I'm really, really sorry. I thought I was going through hard times, but damn....

Look, I know this doesn't mean much, but one day, things will be better. I don't know when or how, but they will. Every time I've been about ready to just give up, something has come around, sometimes out of nowhere, to help just a little bit. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but even if you don't, don't worry, I do; I'll pray for you.

schiavona:

I so wish I was right there for you. I'd have made sure you didn't have to walk home.frown

Love you sweetie.
kisskiss

Sunday Dec 13, 2009

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'Tis the season to be ... afraid of cops! They're freakin everywhere! Crime goes sky high during the holidays so I can understand the need for extra protection, but when u bend the rules like I do this isn't exactly the best time of year.

You never know how terribly ALONE u truly are until something traumatic happens and u need the help of...
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strega:

Hope your Holidays turned out ok.

I don't remember the last time I was pulled over. It must have been at least 10 years ago. Probably for speeding in my hometown. I probably got a ticket and my dad probably paid it. Spoiled.

I have not had a pet as an adult but when I was a kid my parents always got treats for out dogs at Christmas.

That's a tough one. I was really excited when I got my easy bake oven when I was a little girl. But when I was a second year Law student my parents gave me the next years tuition. That was a pretty big, and totally unexpected gift. I think they took a second mortgage to do it. I was pretty damn excited.

I gave my parents an Alaskan cruise last year. It was more than I could afford but my dad had promised it to my mom and then had to take a pay cut at his job and given how much they have done for me I was glad to finally give them something they really wanted.

kundalini:

I'm sorry to hear about your bad xmas experience. I hope things went well for you in the end.

Your comment is funny because I don't even like fish. It's nice that you actually take the time to read my journal while no one else around here seems to.

Thanks.