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I just shattered the fingernail on my ring finger on my right hand with a 40mm server fan. How lame is that!
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I was feeling really second rate after the whole vik situation... and tbh I only messaged her because I was feeling guilty about the whole situation. She certainly seems a lot more together than myself... and she seems pretty damn sincere about all this jive. I don't get it... why can't I see an attraction there... why am I always chasing the athestetic...
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dolby:
Gahhhh we need to catch up!
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... making money for good health ... but first i learn to see myself ... you promised me poems ...

.... I rue the day I ever met you ...

... I deeply regret you ... getting close to me ...

... I cannot wait to deeply neglect you ... deeply forget you ....

... jesus believe me ... you promised me poems ...

... you might've been my reason for living ...


Tricky (Nearly God) - Poems
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Haven't slept yet... had a fucking wicked evening... a very intelligent evening for a change, while bent we managed to sort out the vagaries of algebra and the inner workings of a jet engine. We are about to jet off to go and get some tasty beer beverages from the big brewery down the way. Tomorrow is going to be painful but today and...
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I must've heard it somewhere... because there is no way I could've come up with this myself...

"give me purpose upon this earth"

Someone... give me purpose. Give me a reason to be here.... i have managed to survive at least 3 life threatening situations now and I feel no closer to being a better human being. Where the fuck is the rule...
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chrissteele:
That's a very complicated question or subject that thousands, probably, volumes have been written on by philosophers, writers, poets - even visual artists, musicians and film makers - theologians, also.
Ayn Rand says the purpose of life is merely to be happy. Others say it is to do good for others. It is also said that the purpose of life is to eventually become enlightened - or perfect. Still others say it is to believe in and do the things they say and go to Heaven or Hell - forever. And, you've probably heard or read all of what I've said before.
As they say in eastern philosophy and religion, we each have our own dharma - or duty or purpose - reason, for being here. But whatever that is, they also say it is to become enlightened. Or in touch with our true self, which is universal , cosmic, natural, God. Not the personal God that is the most highly evolved being in the universe - although I think, perhaps we all keep evolving until that's what happens and we start our own universe - but the God that is all of us: that is our true nature. What I've just said, starting with "As they say ... " Is what I personally believe. You may believe whatever you want. But I also must say they also say doing good and; happiness or Bliss Consciousness, which is also what enlightenment is referred
to as, are very important essential elements of our being here. When you're Enlightened, you are utterly blissful or happy, no matter what happens to you, all the time. The trick is it may take many lifetimes to do this.
Well, I just thought I'd give you a thoughtful response to your question. I often get down and don't believe, or forget, what I just said. But believe it I do although I don't spend a lot of time consciously thinking about it.
Cordially, Chris
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Right. About to leave to go on holiday down south at a chalet near a river with a spa... i'm sure it's going to bendertastic. In some ways I'm a tad worried of the destruction that might be wraught, but it's being well and truly over powered by the expected fun of it.

So... no phone, no net... 3 hours from...
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Starting to get sleepy... which is a good thing. Think i will quickly try and play some of STALKER before bed... depending on how asleepy i feel I might be back with more comments.
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Sade - Diamond Life

Such a good CD... listening to Cherry Pie... makes me reminescent of my high school years... laying atop a huge hay bail in the middle of our block with this album playing out of my bedroom while my folks were out. Watching shooting stars and generally trying to appreciate how miniscule we really are.... and enjoying... proper dark... none of this reflected...
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Just put on Beth Orton's Central Reservation, which is one of my favourite albums that she has released. She was INCREDIBLE when I saw her live, thankfully my 'brother's g/f found out that she was playing and we managed to get what would amount to the very last 3 seats in the entire concert hall... sure it was a shitty seating position...
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I'm smiling... smiling heaps... even though i'm listening to my old dark tunes... i can feel a few tears... but i just love these lyrics...

"You put the happy into my ness..."

Ben Harper - Walk away... Live on "Live from Mars"

*grins* Reminds me of when I saw Beth Orton live last year... so many memories... so much in her music and this...
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Having fun at the moment. Even though my housemate has just awoken and is generally wandering about... I'm watching "Severance" with the sound off (cos i have seen it numerous times) but with Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells II as the sound track while I'm ripping other CDs. Sending wrong messages to my friends and generally showing the way that I like my...
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Just want to disappear again... don't want anyone relying on me... or really having anything to do with me... would make things alot easier... unfortunately things don't work that way.