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8spiders

I burned it to the ground.

Member Since 2004

Followers 26 Following 29

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Wednesday Sep 29, 2004

Sep 29, 2004
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It's been a long time since I wanted to just... break something with my bare hands.

Stress does that to you.

Ever feel that way? It's one of those things that happens when you have realy problems. Serious ones. Problems where you have to act on before they get too huge and out of hand.

Then someone does something stupid... something that doesn't make sense. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's the D word.

DRAMA

Yeah. You're worried about what the fuck are you going to do about where or how you're going to live. Or if the girl you're sorta seeing is going to be okay because she's hit some rough times. You're worried about real shit... shit that wasn't caused by a specific thing, but just a series of retarded events that have forced you in a position to grab a mop, suck in your gut, and get to it.

Jesus. Fuck. Seriously, I need to break something.
strangeattractor:
i know how that feels. hit some hard times myself over the past month. two nights ago i had a nightmare and woke up, wiped my brow, and said "phew, glad that was only a dream." then i realized it wasn't - it was my life
!!

and i thought that only happened in movies!!

hope things get better
Sep 29, 2004
strangeattractor:
chomsky is the mother fuckin shit. no doubt about it.

i think my-ear-to-the-ground is deaf or something. la has been kidnapped by this crappy shins/hives/whitestrips/franzferdinand/blah shit. everywhere i look online i run into the same crap. my trusted indie radio station (i don't listen to anything else, honest) has even succumbed to the trend. gah, what to do.

it's not going to sound so bad i suppose...but i'll tell anyhow i have this old professor that i've known/worked for for 4 years and he had been making my life a living hell. while getting my master's he'd constantly make unreasonable demands, called me "fucking ugly" (and other things) in front of the whole lab, disappeared for vacations but didn't afford me any days off, and repeatedly failed to give me constructive feedback although he would criticize my grammar. he strung out the date of my defense until the last date possible so that i had to work on my thesis for a month into medical school (where i spend 45h+ studying a week). on top of this i did some work for him that was not necessary and he continued to be demanding, rude, insulting and inconsiderate...even though i don't work in his lab anymore and was doing him a favor. i decided to quit and move on.

it's kind of hard to explain why that would be so bad, but this guy was at one time a great mentor and turned into a big fuckin bully the moment he knew i was moving on to do other shit. i had the same situation with a crazy dance teacher when i was 18, and i had known her for 10 years. the fucked up thing is both of these "mentors" had daughters who had died when they were young, and my theory is both my prof and this dance teacher searched for daughter figures...and then had super-scary neurotic/psychotic attachment issues if the "daughter" would ever leave.

super stress from medical school + no life + super guilt trips, insults and constant insinuation (he would email me like 3 times a day) from someone you used to look up to + boyfriend quitting job, i.e. playing guitar all day while you are working your ass off = crazy stressed out me taking a razor to my legs. i think i am doing better now, though.

sorry for the long story. how about yourself?
Oct 1, 2004

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