8spiders

...and so it goes.

I have work now. It pays well. Well enough that I won't be poor anymore, which is a weird feeling.

I grew up poor as shit and I've been living my life to the bare minimum. Scraping by, making due and keeping my bills paid with myself out of debt but not much else to show.

Now, suddenly, I'm thinking about...
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she asks me to give her a second chance. she had come back to me.

but now she's gone again and the world has turned and left me here.

Unexpected turns and strange, but pleasant, surprises. Last year was unexpected turns for the worst, this one appears to be unexpected twists for the better.

But I'm not holding my breath...

yeah. i'm cool.

And there goes my brother. Out the door to Portland and I want to follow him.

I'm sick of this house I live in.

I think I'm offically tired of L.A., as well. We will see. We'll see.

I've been having weird dreams. Where I'm with an ex or having sex with a friend's sister. And there was one where I looked into the mirror...
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The people, they come and go.

I had a rough spin this weekend. A woman I sorta fell for came to spend the weekend with me. She started feeling really guilty and left, becaise she had a boyfriend.

Fair enough, I suppose.

I've never done anything like that and, to be honest, it's not something that I *do*. You know? I'm not like that at...
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Sooo....

So.

So. So.

At my friend's birthday party I went a couple rounds with Everclear. Let me tell you, that was a mistake. Three hours sleep + No food = I was hitting on my friend's wife and trying to woo the napkin dispenser.

Wow.

When you're trying to dare your friends to see if your breath is actually flammable, it's time to pass...
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'm walking unknown territory
Where the sun's not shining
There's nothing golden about Golden Lane
The smoke is heavy in my lungs and
The adverts are working
I just can't sell for who or what I am

I don't wanna miss out on anything
At the same time I feel the need to retreat
Everything is temporary these days
Might as well go out for...
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My mother... where do I start? She almost completely broke down talkin' about how she shoulda been a better mother and blahblahblah...

The sentiment is very appreciated but you know, I wish she'd get over it. Cuz, well, I did.

Did you know my mom taught me how to get out of handcuffs? She also taught me how wrestle an alligator and what to do...
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I'll be visiting my mother and some old friends up north so I won't be around for the next week. Cuz you know, I'll be with my mom and my mom wouldn't appreciate me loooking at porn unless I let her look..

And you know... that's a little too creepy for me.

i want you to, for a moment, pretend that i'm completely sober as i write this.

sometimes... well, most times, i feel alone. like now.

i'm not saying this because there's no beer to be found in the fridge. i'm saying this because i have no one to share my fucking insane ideas with.

i'm nuts.

i'm fucking crazy. i'll tell you that for free...
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I stink of sex and post-coital alcohol.

I've been reading comic books and avoiding shaving all weekend. Now that my jobs is over I need to do something else. I want to fucking move to Portland for like 6 months and see how that rolls. But fuck, I can't leave my friends. That and I'd have no work and I don't want to be a...
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