Ok... I can no longer hold it in... I have to admit it to the world....
As a fan of both porn AND physics this is the best porn description EVER! You have no idea how much I laughed when I read this 
Anyone want to go see Zach Galifianakis with me in Boston on July 7th? He's FUCKING FUNNY... You should come with me. Seriously.
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And I don't think I ever hated you. I may, at some point that I don't remember, have been annoyed with you, but hey, I get annoyed with people who walk too slowly. It comes and goes.
Anyway, yes, I know many overweight people who are healthier than their skinny minnie counterparts. I swim three laps every morning, doing caletsthenics in the pool in between laps. I have a "fat kid" (his words) friend who runs about five miles every morning. We're not unhealthy, just not skinny.
Sarcasm is SO hard to read. I've had people think I don't like them in Real Life because they just didn't get my sarcasm, which I always feel bad for.
And I won't mind your sausage fingers if you don't mind my tequila fingers. So rare that I drink liquor.