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2coolforschool

buffalo, ny

Member Since 2004

Followers 31 Following 410

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Monday Jun 28, 2004

Jun 27, 2004
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Over the weekend I was talking to some people and I just now came to the realization of how badly I was betrayed by the ex and some of what I thought were "good friends". I cant even put into words how pissed I am right now, obviously at her for all the ridiculous lying, stealing, betraying and fucking me over she did. But much much much more so at the dirty fucking hippie that I mistook for my friend and all the other scumfuckers that he and she hang out with. Its on now. I cant even think straight, Im so blinded by this rage. My fucking war against those shiteaters has now become a full blown thing.

"My discontent for the vile and the wretched will bring forth reparations of the most severe degree"

Which brings me to my second point. Because of what has happened, the past six months of my life have been an emotional roller coaster, very few highs and some extremely deep lows. Now I have no idea what to do with my new "ladyfriend" for a number of reasons. 1) I still have a huge misstrust for any female. 2)I promised myself that I was NOT going to get close to anyone again for a long time. And 3) I have an even deeper hatred now for all hippies and this girl just happens to be a pseudo-hippie, although she did renounce her hippie-ness, just to hang out with me at that party.
So now you see my dilemma with this girl, at least in my eyes there are some major problems with "dating" her. But on the other hand I find myself constantly thinking about her and when we're together its absolutely amazing. You know I could just take it slow and work myself into some form of a relationship, but WHY did I have to have a crush on a girl with all these hippie tendancies? The good part is that she does not hang out with any other of those dirtbags so maybe, just maybe I can get her to leave the dark side and and rejoin clean, non-phish listening, non tye dye wearing, NON-hippie society.

God dammit Im such a mess, somehow I forgot to take my medication for two days in a row, so apologize if I am way out of hand. My emotions are constantly changing from one extreme to another. Depression, hatred, misery, calmness, anxiousness........

And on a completely unrelated note how hot is SGMonica? Unfortunately she bears a very close resemblelance to a certain ex girlfriend, If I can ever find out what happened to my scanner, Ill post a picture and you can judge for yourself.

And yet another quick addition, I think Im going to see how long I can go without consuming any food, just coffee and my medication, its been 14 hours so far, and if I pass out and hit my head and die it'll be no big loss, you'll just have to deal with not being able to read my crappy journals and lame comments.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
nocapitalismo:
Man, looks like we're both going through some shit. 14 hours without food is nothing, I've been doing it every day for the past couple weeks, but you definitely need to add alcohol to the mix, I agree. I've been substituting food for chocolate soy milk (ahhh hippy juice!!), cigarettes and alcohol. Ya know I think a part of me actually enjoys feeling like this. blackeyed
Jun 28, 2004
superflea:
Can't make any cool recommendations on the clubs, alas. I wasn't living in TO in my rock club days.

For cheap restaurants, I love Sushi Time on Bloor Street (there's also one on Queen Street, but I don't like it as much). It's just a bit west of the Spadina subway station. Also, there are a whole stretch of great noodle places on Yonge just south of Bloor. And there is a kickass pizza joint on Queen a couple of blocks west of Spadina, but I can't think of the name of it. That whole stretch is worth the walk, though.

Enjoy your trip, mate!
Jun 28, 2004

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