I'm sitting here thinking about all that's gone on in the last few days and for the first time in quite a while I'm slightly depressed. I don't feel like doing anything...then just right now I noticed that I can't remember anything about the last 2 minutes...nothing...it's 2 blank minutes in my life that I completely missed out on, didn't get to think about those 2 minutes...what did I think about in those 2 minutes? Who did I talk to online? Did those 2 minutes matter?
This kind of thing has happenned on an off for the last few years...every day I loose about 10 seconds of my life that I never recorded and that genuinely scares me. What if something important happenned? What if it was a happy moment with somebody I cared about and I didn't remember that time that something happenned? What if it was a really crappy moment and I never wanted to repeat what happenned at that time...maybe it happenned during those 10 seconds and it happenned again and caused somebody grief?
Why can't I stop thinking and let my mind shut down? Every second of the day my mind is thinking...and not about anything that I'm doing at that time. Want to know what I'm thinking of right now? A picture of Elvis in which his lips are turned upside down. Now? How much more wire it would take to raise a piece of wire 1 meter off the ground at my current latitude. Now? Surfing and how hard it would be? Would the board be slippery? Now? Limp Bizkit paradies.
This is getting me really down. I'm going to go and write up some documents for my meetings in 4 hours (no sleep for the wicked). He he he...there's a baby polar bear running through my head...much better. You know what really depresses me? I have <3 years to find somebody or I get set up by my relatives and parents...damn culture. No hunting though...last nights' date was more than enough to convince me that I need to make more friends.
Damn journal...making me talk about me...I don't want to talk about me anymore...
This kind of thing has happenned on an off for the last few years...every day I loose about 10 seconds of my life that I never recorded and that genuinely scares me. What if something important happenned? What if it was a happy moment with somebody I cared about and I didn't remember that time that something happenned? What if it was a really crappy moment and I never wanted to repeat what happenned at that time...maybe it happenned during those 10 seconds and it happenned again and caused somebody grief?
Why can't I stop thinking and let my mind shut down? Every second of the day my mind is thinking...and not about anything that I'm doing at that time. Want to know what I'm thinking of right now? A picture of Elvis in which his lips are turned upside down. Now? How much more wire it would take to raise a piece of wire 1 meter off the ground at my current latitude. Now? Surfing and how hard it would be? Would the board be slippery? Now? Limp Bizkit paradies.
This is getting me really down. I'm going to go and write up some documents for my meetings in 4 hours (no sleep for the wicked). He he he...there's a baby polar bear running through my head...much better. You know what really depresses me? I have <3 years to find somebody or I get set up by my relatives and parents...damn culture. No hunting though...last nights' date was more than enough to convince me that I need to make more friends.
Damn journal...making me talk about me...I don't want to talk about me anymore...
bigpunkmike:
don't worry so much...it'll drag you down, just go with the flow of things. Remember it's spring now, what you need is some golf. Soon we can go golf and I'll learn you good!...hahahahaha