I knew a girl named Niki (yes, I know it's spelled weird), I guess you could say she was a sex fiend (or just horny and partially drunk). I met her in a hotel lobby (alright, the elevator at the Hilton) masturbating with a magazine (*cough* SG BOOK!). She said "How'd you like to waste some time?" and I could not resist when I saw little Niki grind...
Woke up the next morning-- Niki wasn't there (nor was the guy from the night before. Fuck, that was some great sex!). I looked all over and all I found was a phone number on the chair (and a condom stuck between the mattress and the headboard. Gross). It said "Thank you for a funky time, call me up whenever you want to grind." (and you can bet your ass, he dialed that shit up again.)