jayden

I really have nothing of value to say, I just feel the need to update

Right now I am eating some delicious pasta with sauce and watching Maury Povich. shut up, I know. The theme of today's Maury is: "Send my oversexed teen to boot camp!" From what I gather thus far, a bunch of fat sniveling mothers have brought their promiscuous out-of-control fourteen year-olds...
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Holy migraine headache Batman! I woke up this morning feeling as though someone was vigorously and carelessly fucking the shit out of my left eyesocket. Then I took two Excedrine migraine and a long hot shower and it eventually subsided to a dull and annoying yet tolerable ache. Now I am all jittery from taking caffeine-infused Excedrine on an empty stomach, but whatever, it's better...
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Oh my goodness it's actually been nice and warm and sunny in Seattle for 2 days in a row. wtf.

I was going to try to find some funny or informative link to make this post not look like a total waste of space but this website for people who are sexually aroused by vomit is pretty interesting so there ya go.

So my significant other just got back from a week-long trip through SoCal and Tiajuana yesterday. While he was in Tiajuana he went to a strip club. Strip clubs in Tiajuana are essentially brothels, and there are quite a few transsexuals who whore themselves out amongst the genetically female strippers and prostitutes. Apparently it's hard to differentiate who is who, gender-wise sometimes. So he's sitting...
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*dies*

I should have known better than to drink suspiciously cheap well drinks that tasted kind of like rubbing alcohol. And I definitely should have known better than to top it all off with a big shot of jaeger. I've been sticking my head in the toilet since 6 a.m. and I think the barfing aspect of this particular hangover is done, so now I...
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This is awesome. Fake, but still awesome.

Irony is great.

I never have anything interesting to say and don't think people care to hear the mundane insignificant details of my life, hence why I never update. But, here is what is currently going on:

1. Filed my tax return online last night. Thanks TurboTax, for brutally raping me up the ass with your ridiculous fees and endless frustratingly redundant forms. *thumbs up* But seriously, money...
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