anderswolleck

If you only know Patton Oswalt from seeing his standup or watching him in the hit sitcom, The King of Queens, let me reveal right now that hes a bit crusty. Not in a bad way though. Its like when a totally normal and down to earth person who never spews bullshit becomes famous and now doesnt want to swallow anyone elses bullshit. He seems like the kind of person that you can sit back and knock back a few drinks with. Maybe even a lot of drinks!

Im sure every single one of you remembers the previous interview I did with Patton right before he recorded his first comedy album. Well on June 29, Aimee Manns Superego Records will release that album, so you can sit back and pop it into your CD player and feel kinda Patton.

Buy the album: Feelin Kinda Patton

Daniel Robert Epstein: Hey Patton. My recording equipment is acting a bit funny, could you say some stuff?

Patton Oswalt: Uh the media is run by the Jews and the white race is under attack from blacks, Im sorry I mean the mud people. We need to mount a defense.

DRE: Since the last time we talked I really got into your show.

PO: Oh thank you!

DRE: It is ok to call it your show?

PO: Im carrying those losers.

DRE: I was surprised to find out that its really funny.

PO: Its kind of cool because it reminds me of the way the Newhart show was in the late 80s. They use this very normal sitcom to smuggle very weird and subversive stuff in every now and then. But its a show that doesnt go out of its way to announce how cool it is. This is a convoluted comparison but I like the William S. Burroughs approach, which is to dress it as bland as you can so that you can smuggle your stuff in.

DRE: I also like how it isnt heartwarming all the time.

PO: If you watch a lot of episodes you find this thing that Kevin James and all the writers dont talk about which is that its a show about failure and hatred. Its people setting up plans that go horribly wrong where everyone ends up totally bummed out at the end of the episode. Nobody learns anything, everyone makes dumb decisions and then they resolve it in an even worse way. At the end they have to live with a worse situation.

DRE: Yeah theyre pretty horrible people.

PO: Thats another thing they dont talk about. Doug and Carrie are horrible people and thats the reason they are together. Theyve touched on this but they dont hammer it in, they are both kind of assholes. They dont like to go out, theyre not very cultured and they love that about each other. Its such a cool brilliant thing that they do.

DRE: Its even funnier that you all get away with it on CBS.

PO: Oh yeah. Also Kevin and the writers hate the idea of a very special episode. They especially hate during Sweeps Month when they make them do a three-episode arc with a cliffhanger. Last time they did a three-episode arc was when they discovered they had mold in the basement and then have to find money to pay for a guy to remove it. The network was so pissed at us about that.

DRE: How come it took you so long to do your first comedy album?

PO: I think it was because I was too busy establishing myself to the point where I would have enough stature to do an album. I learned early on, when I did my HBO and Comedy Central half hour specials, that later on your act gets ten times better and you wish you could go back. I knew that once I didnt feel any pressure to do an album right away because I knew if waited longer I would have better bits.

DRE: Some of the stuff I recognized as being a little older was at the end of your set.

PO: What happened was at the end of the show I had some encores because people were yelling out those bits. So I did another whole set I had prepared. People were screaming out Do Carvel! So I had to do some classic bits. That show was 2 hours and 21 minutes long. We boiled it down to 80 or 90 minutes.

DRE: I remember when I saw Warren Zevon live years ago, he came out at the end and said Alright, Ill play it and he played Werewolves of London.

PO: I love that philosophy. I dont believe in that whole Miles Davis thing of turning your back on the audience. I go out I do all my new stuff, which is usually about an hour, and then Im open enough with fans to do the stuff that they want to hear. Im also at an exciting point where people are bringing their friends down to see me and theyve told them about certain bits so they want to hear me do them.

DRE: Did you riff on the album?

PO: There is a bunch of different riffs. The bit about the apocalypse was pretty fresh. Every time I do my act I dont write anything down but I have a general idea of how it goes. I always have phrases and ways of saying it every time.

DRE: How much preparation did you do for this album?

PO: I feel like Ive been preparing for this album for 15 years. I did about three months worth of shows on the road. For a club like the 40 Watt in Athens you're going to need a lot of new stuff and no amount of preparation is going to prepare you for it.

DRE: Is that club well known?

PO: Its a pretty well known club. Its not a comedy club but where REM and a lot of other bands started.

DRE: Last time we spoke you said you wanted to do it there because you didnt want to do it in a place where the audience wasnt too savvy about standup comedy.

PO: Exactly. I still like the sensation of winning people over that dont know what I do.

DRE: Did that happen?

PO: Ill let you judge that.

DRE: So do you listen to your act later on?

PO: You're going down a line of questioning that comedians hate talking about but I will try to explain why we hate that. Its meaningless. I just write ten ideas or topics, go onstage and try riffing them out. But who cares about this process?

DRE: People do, believe it or not.

PO: I dont think they do. Theres a million different ways of doing it and thats how I do it.

DRE: Are you ever surprised to find out the things you are obsessed with? Like old commercials?

PO: Im not obsessed with old commercials. Its just things I find funny. Im obsessed with giant women and the apocalypse.

DRE: Are retards just funny?

PO: I only do one bit on retarded people. There are non-retarded people that are much funnier than retarded people.
DRE: How was dealing with Superego Records?

PO: Aimee has been to a lot of my shows and I toured with her and Michael [Penn] for about a year back in 2000. I still open for Michael at the Largo and Im opening up for Aimee in Brooklyn at St. Ann's Warehouse. It was just us as friends hanging out then it evolved into me opening for her.

DRE: Have you ever been offered comedy albums before?

PO: Yeah for the last four years people have wanted me to do an album. But I waited until I had a label where I could really control the album because I want to do own my catalog. I wanted it to be more under my control rather than be on some huge label where they will be looking more in the area of commerce rather than make the album I want.

DRE: How has the current political climate and censorship affected you?

PO: People are really frightened and angry right now so they react to things out of context. There is a real expectation on what a comic is supposed to do. Some come to see me for the wrong reasons.

DRE: Are the wrong reasons, older people coming to see you do standup because theyve seen you on the sitcom?

PO: Or worse when parents bring their kids.

DRE: Have you seen those people walk out?

PO: Oh yeah. Ive had whole tables walk out and had people come up to me angrily after a show and get in my face.

Im always willing to debate people, thats fine. Im not someone who goes out of their way to offend people but I dont think twice about worrying whether people will like my act or not. I just want to talk about what I want to.

DRE: Are there expectations on you because you play this character on the show?

PO: There are expectations especially when one is on a show as funny as The King of Queens but there is also the price of expectations. If you are in sitcom people will expect the kind of humor that I dont do onstage.

DRE: When you first got on The King of Queens did you know Kevin James?

PO: I knew he was a standup but I didnt know him personally.

DRE: So it was just another audition?

PO: They offered it to me after they saw my HBO half hour special. That shows that the writers are really cool and smart.

DRE: Is all the stuff before the encores new?

PO: Ive never done them before except a couple I did on Conan [OBrien] otherwise its all brand new. I go onstage three or four times a week just to mess around and try new stuff.

DRE: How do you find the time to go onstage that much?

PO: Im only on every third episode and then we have hiatus week.

DRE: Are you the guy who is charge of promoting your album?

PO: I have a publicist, which is good to have.

DRE: How important is it to have one?

PO: Everyone has one. All the people you think are so indie have publicists.

DRE: I loved that really funny essay about William Zabka on your website. Did you see that he got nominated for an Oscar this year?

PO: Yeah I was so excited. I so wanted him to win.

DRE: It would have been so cool to see him onstage accepting his Oscar.

PO: I think there are a lot of people obsessed with William Zabka but they wont admit it. He was such a bully archetype in the 80s because he basically played the same character three times.

DRE: Did that just pop in your head?

PO: I just write different things. There is a lot of stuff Ive written under pseudonyms that youve read and dont know about. I like to do creative stuff. Cross and Odenkirk write different essays all the time.

DRE: Is your Croc story that Bob Fingerman drew going to be in Bizarro 2?

PO: Yes theyve sent me the artwork and Ive signed the contract. Then there is another story that isnt going into the book that Im going to put on my site. I try to do all sorts of different writing other than standup.

DRE: I saw an episode of King of Queens, which had your character dealing with TiVo, and you have a bit about TiVo as well. Did you write that one?

PO: That was just a parallel thought. When they told me about the episode I said that I have a bit that is similar to that.

Sometimes I do go up to the writers room and throw out ideas. Even though I have sold two TV pilots I am more comfortable with screenwriting right now.

DRE: What is the status of [your screenplay] Puberty?

PO: That is in turnaround and there is another one I wrote with a writing partner that I sold to Miramax. Ive also optioned a short story but its an ongoing process. Ive also punched up stuff others have directed. But you never want to ask people what they are working on. Its like asking about the process of standup.

DRE: How did the part in Starsky & Hutch come to you?

PO: Im friends with Ben [Stiller] and [co-writer/director] Todd [Phillips] so they asked me to come in and do it. I riffed and wrote most of my dialogue.

DRE: It seemed like it was kind of loose.

PO: Yeah it was fun.

DRE: Is there any bit on the album that felt more personal than others?

PO: Its all personal. Any kind of comedy is personal on different levels.

DRE: There isnt as much political stuff on the album. Why is that?

PO: Well I like a little of everything. There is plenty of it on there like Bush being evil and the apocalypse, how much more political can I get?

DRE: I like the blowjob behind the Tilt-A-Whirl bit.

PO: That caused a fight at the DC Improv. Two tables got into an argument, and then a fistfight and I had to calm them down. Some guy was saying really nasty things under his breath and some dumb hippie chick dumped a drink on his head. He got up and fists were flying.

DRE: Does that happen to a lot of comedians?

PO: No, it depends on the kind of stuff you're doing. Some comedians never cause that kind of stuff.

DRE: Was the Dr. Pepper open mic story real?

PO: Yes that happened at the Yuk Yuks in Toronto. That was amazing. I used to have a videotape of it. The audience was so into it because it was like watching a brilliant character piece

DRE: Have you heard anymore about this guy?

PO: No, I think thats probably the only time he did standup.

DRE: I also really liked the Retard Gay Pride Parade bit. Where did that come from?

PO: I dont remember. If I did think about where my stuff came from it might ruin my act.

DRE: When you open for Aimee, is the audience prepared to see you?

PO: Aimee is cool enough to go out and talk to the audience first. I just opened for Camper Van Beethoven and the lead singer was nice enough to go out and say that I am a friend of the band so the audience knows that Im part of the show. Music crowds are always in a different mindset so you have to get them back around.

DRE: Ive seen bad local bands open for Tenacious D and it was a rough scene. It was after Tenacious D got more popular so there were a lot of frat boys there. I thought they were going to pull the opening act off the stage.

PO: I dont think you can judge Tenacious D by their fans. Their stuff is brilliant but unfortunately when someone gets really popular they attract a certain kind of moron but you cant let them ruin their overall fanbase.

I just did a big benefit with them for the West Memphis Three at the Improv in Los Angeles. That was a lot of fun.

DRE: Did everyone come out onstage?

PO: Dude its a comedy show. Do you know how awkward and unpleasant it would be if everyone came out together. Do you watch a lot of comedy?

DRE: Have you met any SuicideGirls when youve been traveling around?

PO: No man, I wish. Im going to be up and down the West Coast in September with Zach Galifianakis. I have a feeling when Im in Portland Ill meet a lot of them.

DRE: The site started there so there is a bunch of them there.

What kind of girls are you into?

PO: Either Amazons or dark poetry type chicks. Also Irish women are the most beautiful women on earth.

DRE: Is it weird meeting people now that you're famous?

PO: Im not that well known. I usually meet people who want their picture with me. Im lucky a lot of the people I meet are really cool and interesting.

DRE: I spoke with comedian Doug Benson recently and his big thing is the Marijuana-Logues. Have you done many drugs?

PO: Ive done acid, marijuana and I used to smoke a lot of pot but now I just enjoy drinking. I feel so much better drinking an old Scotch or a really good wine so I stick with that.

DRE: Are you a surly drunk?

PO: No Im a happy giggly hug-dispensing drunk.

DRE: Do comedians still have a big drug culture?

PO: There are different groups. I dont want to make this like Platoon but there are some that dabble in the controlled substances, others that drink and others that are teetotalers. Its all equally valid because if you are funny, its fine. There are comedians that are vegetarians but it doesnt make them any less funny.

DRE: As you said you do many things but after The King of Queens ends it run do you have something else to go right into besides standup?

PO: I dont know if I will ever star in my own sitcom or if I want to yet. Everything I do, writing movies, writing TV, and being in movies all leads to me doing standup. All I want to do is standup. But doing those things helps supplement.

DRE: Whats the charge you get out of standup?

PO: Its a dictatorship. Im a dictator up there. I decide everything. Its purely creative because there is no committee feel to it. Its like the last kind of fountainhead left in the world.

DRE: Did you come to that realization on your own?

PO: Yeah. Its just something that I have experienced. Its a very benign kind of fascism to being in front of people. Its a fascism that makes people happy.

DRE: Since you are a comic book fan is it exciting to be in the new Blade movie?

PO: Oh god its going to be great. I get slaughtered by vampires, Im so excited.

DRE: I know you worked with David Goyer on ZigZag so did that lead into doing Blade 3?

PO: Yeah. I did a bunch of punch up on the script so he asked me to be a character. I do a lot of punch ups on scripts like the Farrelly brothers movies; Meet the Fockers and all the Ben Stiller movies like Dodgeball and Starsky & Hutch.

DRE: Is Dodgeball going to be any good?

PO: I think it looks really funny.

DRE: It looks really bizarre. It seems like adult dodgeball is getting popular.

What are you up to besides promoting the album?

PO: Just more standup and Im doing a bunch of John Kerry events.

DRE: Is John Kerry going to be there or is it just supporting him?

PO: Its fundraisers supporting him.

DRE: Do you see John Kerry as a solution or just better than Bush?

PO: Anything would be a solution to Bush. If the concept of undeserved anal rape ran against Bush I would vote for undeserved anal rape. If a Diane Arbus photograph of a dead child ran against Bush I would vote for the photograph.

Check out Pattons website

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck