How do I begin to write? How? And, if I cannot figure that out , how can I figure out how to live?
For the first time in my life, a week ago, I fully considered suicide. And, it felt, sad yes, but also peaceful. Nice really.
I know I'm depressed, and I know my love, the love of my life is also. It feels...
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For the first time in my life, a week ago, I fully considered suicide. And, it felt, sad yes, but also peaceful. Nice really.
I know I'm depressed, and I know my love, the love of my life is also. It feels...
Read More
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
sefi24:
I love your art a lot, but u promised a new set, so where is it sweetie??????????????
jimmybackfire:
god you make cool shit. 
vibrators, dirty martinis and confusion.....
so... i'm drunk. Sorry for any typos.
had a really bad night,
first off i want to apologize for not responding to comments on my last blog - i will soon though.
things have been crazy. I just got a job at Taboo Tabou - # 1 sex shop in Chicago....i love everyone there, my coworkers and the customers. Tonight...
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so... i'm drunk. Sorry for any typos.
had a really bad night,
first off i want to apologize for not responding to comments on my last blog - i will soon though.
things have been crazy. I just got a job at Taboo Tabou - # 1 sex shop in Chicago....i love everyone there, my coworkers and the customers. Tonight...
Read More
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
eternalpain75:
Congrats on the new job.
Hope you hear something about your new set.
Hope you hear something about your new set.
bodymodified:
we all need help
VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
zy:
Thanks a lot for the add in the friend list !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
treasure:
Trust me.
The weekend isn't in there. But it sure does look like fun.
Have a good weekend!!!!
~Treasure~
Trust me.
The weekend isn't in there. But it sure does look like fun.
Have a good weekend!!!!
~Treasure~
i'm really tired today, a friend of mine is hurt, so she's comming over so i can take care of her. i'm really worried about this lovely lady, shes goin through a really traumatic time.
I've realized that i need to reevaluate some things in my life, how i've been treating other people. For those of you who read my last journal entry: it was...
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I've realized that i need to reevaluate some things in my life, how i've been treating other people. For those of you who read my last journal entry: it was...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
ninjaprodigy:
Hope your friend's doing all right..
And, y'know, you live, you learn and try and do better from there on out.
And, y'know, you live, you learn and try and do better from there on out.
lil_tuffy:
Hey, I jsut noticed the primt making thing in yer profile descriptor... you should join Screenprinting group. It's pretty dead but it'd be great to get more printers in their.
Also, if you happen to be going to the pitchfork music festival this weekend. there will be like 45 screen printing poster artists (including me) exhibiting at Flatstock.
:tuffy:
Also, if you happen to be going to the pitchfork music festival this weekend. there will be like 45 screen printing poster artists (including me) exhibiting at Flatstock.
:tuffy:
Portland, we meet again.........
So I'm flying out Saturday to Oregon (thank god, I've been needing this for a while!) and stayin for ten days...so if any of you write me and I don't get back to you quickly, it's because I won't have consistant access to a computer (no it doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore!!!
Onto other things...I FINALLY got paid,...
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So I'm flying out Saturday to Oregon (thank god, I've been needing this for a while!) and stayin for ten days...so if any of you write me and I don't get back to you quickly, it's because I won't have consistant access to a computer (no it doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore!!!
Onto other things...I FINALLY got paid,...
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
a_strange_treat:
You obviously don't luve us anymore.
Have fun in Portland!!!!!!
Smashy is among the top five kitty names ever. The other contenders:
Whiskey
Doom
Fucker
Jimmy the Otter
What kind of job do you want?
Have fun in Portland!!!!!!
Smashy is among the top five kitty names ever. The other contenders:
Whiskey
Doom
Fucker
Jimmy the Otter
What kind of job do you want?
sparaz:
I love portland, I would so love to be up there right now, I havent been there in like 4 years... What a sad state of affairs too... Hopefully you are having or (had) fun.
Lesson in being the fool.
or, Midwest ignorant fucks, the unfortunate battle begins.
I just woke up from a dream. I was at my fav bar, but no one would talk to me, everyone gave me that eye, you know that eye, the "who the fuck are you?!?!?" eye. I left, pissed. Walkin away, every car had three guys in it, and they were laughing,...
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or, Midwest ignorant fucks, the unfortunate battle begins.
I just woke up from a dream. I was at my fav bar, but no one would talk to me, everyone gave me that eye, you know that eye, the "who the fuck are you?!?!?" eye. I left, pissed. Walkin away, every car had three guys in it, and they were laughing,...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
ninjaprodigy:
They're not worth your time or your concern.
They have their own issues and insecurities and they're taking 'em out on you.
Just be happy and comfortable with who you are and with those you know are your friends and do respect you. Don't waste your time or energy worrying about the assholes.
They have their own issues and insecurities and they're taking 'em out on you.
Just be happy and comfortable with who you are and with those you know are your friends and do respect you. Don't waste your time or energy worrying about the assholes.
r0nin:
It's too bad you're thinking about moving, but I suppose after growing up in a place like portland, Chicago would take a lot of getting used to.. Chicago still has it's good points though, especially the music scene!
I rented Land of the Dead, which was pretty good compared to the remake of Dawn of the Dead which I really wasn't too thrilled with... Other than that, I just sat around on the computer putting together a proposal for a new client.
So what parts of the city have you spent the most time in since you've lived here? I'm so out of the loop after having been gone for six years that most of the places I used to go to have changed for the worse..
Well... I'd write more, but unfortunately I have to get back to work designing a whole house music system for a client who has too much damn money for her own good *rolls eyes* This woman has furniture worth more than I make in a year!
I rented Land of the Dead, which was pretty good compared to the remake of Dawn of the Dead which I really wasn't too thrilled with... Other than that, I just sat around on the computer putting together a proposal for a new client.
So what parts of the city have you spent the most time in since you've lived here? I'm so out of the loop after having been gone for six years that most of the places I used to go to have changed for the worse..
Well... I'd write more, but unfortunately I have to get back to work designing a whole house music system for a client who has too much damn money for her own good *rolls eyes* This woman has furniture worth more than I make in a year!
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
girl_afraid:
i'm doing fine, my doppleganger babydoll. how are you?
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
lalindaloca:
Yes! Burningman! And I do hope you're back in town in time!!! Have fun in Portland. G
bowie:
Yay! I love upsidedown chin faces!
Thank you so much for commenting on my set, gorgeous!
Thank you so much for commenting on my set, gorgeous!
Fuck. I'm drunk.
Graduation went well I guess- pretty boring reallly. Found out that for the past 3 months or so I've had mono - don't know how the fuck i got it (wish that I was kissen people!) I'm fuckin sica bein sick, I want to get naked and take some photos!
Just stretched my ears up to a 0 gauge - some good...
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Graduation went well I guess- pretty boring reallly. Found out that for the past 3 months or so I've had mono - don't know how the fuck i got it (wish that I was kissen people!) I'm fuckin sica bein sick, I want to get naked and take some photos!
Just stretched my ears up to a 0 gauge - some good...
Read More
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
thejoeshow:
i haven't heard from you in a while! how the heck are you? besides the mono, of course.
i missed the unedited version of this blog. i feel cheated. cheated! no fair, cheater mccheaterson.
well, congrats on graduating! and i hope everything else is going good for you, too. ok, bye.
i missed the unedited version of this blog. i feel cheated. cheated! no fair, cheater mccheaterson.
well, congrats on graduating! and i hope everything else is going good for you, too. ok, bye.
thurmis:
so...
[Edited on May 29, 2006 1:36AM]
[Edited on May 29, 2006 1:36AM]
I feel this way every single day. I swear to you I do. I can't afford the therapy or meds either.
Yeah, there is suffering in the world far beyond anything you or I have been through, but that doesn't mean that what you and your love feel, your pain, isn't real or legitimate.
Life is struggle; there is no doubt about that, but it's a battle that you can win if fight long and hard enough. I believe that with all my heart, and it's why I keep fighting. I promise, if you keep fighting you can win.
Maybe the world doesn't need two more artists. I can't answer that. I think the world is desperate for artists, but the world and I rarely see eye to eye. But they are people in the world who need YOU, artist or not, and for starters ... the two of you need each other.
Maybe that is the place to start, to cling to and take care of each other, never leave the other to be alone in this world and die missing you. Make that choice and go from there.
Depression sucks, but things do improve. Just gotta make sure you're both around to see things get better.
and..*some big hugs*