lulumae

I heart you. lots and lots

ello again my dear. spoke to you a few journals back and you were kind enough to send me back some love. since i appreciate it, i'm gonna rant at you; that might not be your idea of appreciation in which case tell me or i'll never guess.

i still know how you feel a little bit, unfortunately for us all. cosmically we should all probably agree that we need to experiance the pain and emotional torture of all our relationships or attempts at them falling horribly flat for a while in our lives because then we'll really appreciate it comparitively when it all goes right - but lets be honest thats bullshit right? and why is it bullshit? i'd normally say cos all of us know that there are many people who say they never got it, and logically we all know love really is all down to cupid; the little bastard doesnt make it easy to find the right person at the right time (even, as you said, down to a few seconds of passing in the street or something as well as over months) under the right conditions. little bastard.

i'll finish my rant on a positive note, since i'm terminally sick of my recent pessimism; just incase a example of how i might be able to empathise would be nice, my situation is that i've been breaking up with my junkie of an ex (who never used to be a junkie) for forever, i fell for someone on the site who then decided he was in love with a very good friend of mine; i then started seeing someone who lives 150 miles from me, but that exploded in my face, and now i'm falling for someone else on the site. i dont dare tell him incase i lose a perfectly good friendship after telling him and embarrassing the fuck out of him or it all goes pearshaped in some other way.

but something occurred to me; cosmically (v. into my cosmic alignment theories) 1) i am searching for someone so persistantly and uncontrollably because i am really lonely in london even with my best friends living with me. 2) maybe i am being saved from something much worse that would happen if relationships were to start to work out with any of these people. because my own stability or theirs not being totally sound. like maybe if relationship continued alright with guy 1# then he'd end up bludgeoning me to death in five years time, or if with guy 2# then i would fall so in love with him that when he leaves me for another woman in two years time i go mad, simply mad and have to be locked up with a broken heart. its kind of a 'sliding doors' theory. either way, i'm personally probably best on my own right now if i'm feeling as desperate for a companion as i think i am.

anyway, sorry i ramble; from the way you write you seem lovely, and i'm sure that good things will come to you, but think about whether you're ready.

p.s. what happened to arioch? did he say goodbye?

love n hugs n self esteem boosting thoughts going your way

I'll say hi when I make it there! I have been a lazy ass after work for weeks and haven't made it to Monday in weeks!! I WILL say hi though.

B

So long. Perhaps I'll see you bowling?

yeah, sorry you missed it. and we most certainly would have joined you, if we knew where you were! we ended up heading to Lucky for the rest of the night.

I hate being frustrated with things/people I hope everything works out for you

If I could have anyone over for dinner and conversation it would be Simone De Beauvoir. I would Love to be able to talk to her about her Exisitentialist theories and how they apply to physics.

Luv Cat

*hug*


Wuzums?

'xcuse my ignorance, what's Royal Dalton collection?
Go Maple Leafs!!

xo xo xo

You are awesome and Manson is such a poser, PLUS he stole my song/meme idea, "At the Speed of Pain", which I came up with YEARS ago ( I am too fond of those damn caps). It's too bad to hear that Dita has lost her senses and that she also suffers from hobbit stature.

wish i could send you some good feelings, m'dear

poor lulue.

looks like I don't got it...

just wanted to say hi...

Was thinking of you yesterday, I saw a foxy lady ride by on a scooter, and I thought...hmm....


kisses baby!

I had a dream last night that I went to a horrible piercer. She was like, sixteen, and forget to put the jewellery in for four hours. Then, she put it in, but it was too big, and my lower lip was totally destroyed. I had to walk around with my lower lip dangling past my chin. (Then I saw someone being mean to a horse and got in a fight....)

Maybe you'll see my nipples this summer.

I have one, very public job...men create fetishes over it (but it's not a sexy job). Are you sure you know who I am?

i gotta talk to you in here cause its a faux pas to type in your own comment box right?
i guess cause people cant get their messages back.
you gotta get on msn messenger lady!
kick jeremy off the computer.

Have so much fun this weekend.