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  • WEDNESDAY JANUARY 25 2006 8:00 AM

Global Warming Threatens MY BOOZE!

I've only been peripherally aware of global warming. Sure, 2005 was the hottest year on record. It was probably right up there for natural disasters as well, ranging from tsunamis to earthquakes to massive hurricane seasons. But it doesn't, you know, AFFECT me. I don't live with the emperor penguins on the ice shelves. And like Bush and Company, I tend to brush off accusations from liberal nancyheaded *cough cough* former EPA chiefs *cough* that the current policies are ruining the environment and possibly sliding the globe into a drastic environmental disaster. And anyway, according to the experts, the Kyoto Accord was fatally flawed. Honest.

I mean, I don't lick tree frogs from the Amazon to see the pretty colors. And while I don't buy the Bush administration's repeated assertions that "we're already doing all that Kyoto Accord stuff anyway", I also know that China's current pollution standard sits approximately one notch above "airborne sewage", and that a road trip in New Delhi makes LA smog incense by comparison.

But it's ON NOW. No Excursion-driving "Support Our Troops" wanker is taking away my Knob Creek.

from OnEarth.org



Since the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794, when farmers of Scottish and Irish descent tarred and feathered government excise collectors, Kentuckians have fought hard for their bourbon. Federal law makes it very clear that unless your whiskey is made from a mash containing 51 percent to 79 percent corn and produced and stored for at least one of its two years of aging in Kentucky, you can't call it Kentucky bourbon. But if a recent study conducted for the Commonwealth of Kentucky is correct, global warming may soon make it impossible to produce good Kentucky bourbon -- at least in Kentucky.

According to the author, Mike Jones, a researcher at American University, a bourbon's distinctive Kentucky flavor comes from the seasonal warming and cooling of the whiskey during its aging. This is done in white oak barrels that have been "toasted" in order to caramelize the sugars in the wood and then charred on the inside to impart flavor to the whiskey during storage. "When the temperature rises in the summer, the bourbon expands," Jones says, "and with lower temperatures in the winter, it contracts. This movement gives the bourbon its amber color and oak flavor."

Producers consider these temperature variations so critical that during the course of their storage, barrels are shifted from the lower racks in the warehouse to the upper racks. However, the 3-degree Fahrenheit average temperature increase predicted for the state over the next 100 years will mean less variation between winter and summer temperatures. The study's sorry conclusion: "In the future, global warming may affect the weather patterns which are essential in Kentucky for the aging process."

It's yet another reason to cut back on carbon emissions -- your driving may be affecting your drinking.

-- Bruce Stutz, OnEarth (www.ndrc.org)



Although I do have to wonder why the state of Kentucky felt it neccessary to study global warming only in context of bourbon manufacturing.

 

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ASSH0LE

ASSH0LE

Las Vegas, NV
June 2003

JAN 25, 2006 08:06 AM

This seems to be a vain attempt to get Republicans to give a fuck what they're doing to the environment.

I don't imagine it'll get far.

"Why don't just put it in the icebox during the winter?"

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

JAN 25, 2006 08:18 AM

Now this is a fucking travesty. Time to start stockpiling Old Crow, like, now.

Necrosis

Necrosis

Australia
January 2006

JAN 25, 2006 08:20 AM

Screw your Knob Creek - what's gonna happen to my beloved Wild Turkey?

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 25, 2006 08:22 AM

i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.

alpha_hazard

alpha_hazard

Fort Collins, CO
April 2004

JAN 25, 2006 08:33 AM

better stock up, first it was gas, then toilet paper, now bourbon. finally our cold war bomb shelters/y2k shelters have a use again!

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

JAN 25, 2006 08:39 AM

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.



I'd rather go straight edge than drink Jack.

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 25, 2006 08:41 AM

Idjiit said:

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.



I'd rather go straight edge than drink Jack.


why? jack is crisp and smooth and good in floats.

Helter

Helter

Chester, PA
OLD SKOOL

JAN 25, 2006 08:42 AM

Wasn't the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania, rather than Kentucky.

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 25, 2006 08:49 AM

Helter said:
Wasn't the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania, rather than Kentucky.


yes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiskey_rebellion

jake_lex

jake_lex

Lexington, KY
February 2003

JAN 25, 2006 08:50 AM

Yesterday it was 60 degrees here in the Bluegrass.

This shit is, to use a meterological term, fucked up.

DarrenDragon

DarrenDragon

Owensboro, KY
December 2002

JAN 25, 2006 10:26 AM

zymyrgy said:
Although I do have to wonder why the state of Kentucky felt it neccessary to study global warming only in context of bourbon manufacturing.



Aside from Corvettes and horses, it's all we got.

jake_lex said:
Yesterday it was 60 degrees here in the Bluegrass.

This shit is, to use a meterological term, fucked up.



Today it is 40. And last week it snowed. Of course the next day it was 60 degrees too. You sir, may have a point.

[Edited on Jan 25, 2006 by skinwalker]

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JAN 25, 2006 10:29 AM

zymyrgy said:

Although I do have to wonder why the state of Kentucky felt it neccessary to study global warming only in context of bourbon manufacturing.


Maybe because there are tons of other studies focussing on global warming as a global issue (studies that probably involve more time and resources than Kentucky can really afford) , and also because Kentucky bourbon is a pretty damned important form of revenue for the state?

DarrenDragon

DarrenDragon

Owensboro, KY
December 2002

JAN 25, 2006 10:33 AM

Helter said:
Wasn't the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania, rather than Kentucky.


The author of that article obviously went to public schools here in the Commonwealth.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JAN 25, 2006 10:42 AM

skinwalker said:

Helter said:
Wasn't the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania, rather than Kentucky.


The author of that article obviously went to public schools here in the Commonwealth.


Interestingly, the Whiskey Rebellion (or at least the suppression thereof) was largely responsible for the rise of whiskey distilleries springing up in the lawless territories of places like Kentucky and Tennessee.

MightyTick

MightyTick

Albany, NY
December 2005

JAN 25, 2006 11:22 AM

I'm going to buy me a bottle of Bookers to sit in the basement so that 50 years from now I'll be able to remember what bourbon was...

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