There has been a lot of hullabaloo as of late over the fact that Natalie Portman has gone back on her word and done a semi-nude scene in Wes Anderson's short film Hotel Chevalier (free on iTunes!). In fact, the two most common things I've heard about the film, in SG's own Celeb Worship group and elsewhere, have been:

1) OMG Natalie Portman like, totally shows her butt!

and

2) The rest of it was BOo0ringgZZzzzzzz.

These seem to be the only statements the public at large is capable of making about this film. Because I care, I will address them both.

1) Get over it. People have butts. Sometimes, when people are about to have sex, they take off their underwear and expose said butts. But not all ass shots are created equal. From the stylized removal of her boots to the "uh-oh, we have issues" moment, the love scene is extremely well-shot and choreographed, and the fact that he pulls down her pants and undies before focusing on her top half speaks volumes about the kind of relationship the two characters have. Additionally, the bruise on her ass is evidence that she has been involved in some vaguely kinky business since the last time they saw each other.

Which brings me to 2) People think this film is boring due to its sparseness and lack of dialog, back-story, conclusion, etc. These people are fundamentally missing the point. What is good about this film (and all decent short films and stories) is the amount of information (both literal and emotional) it is able to contain in so few words and images. For example, bruises on the ass can only mean one thing. Bruises on the rest of the body are more ambiguous. She has both, and he's not sure what to think, so he says something, but she ignores him.

In terms of dialog, Anderson doesn't mince words. We come into the story in media res: it's clear she has wronged him, and he's hiding out from the world at a hotel in Paris, where we learn he has been for over a month. They are about to have conflicted-emotion-angry-sad sex.

Hardly the tip of Hemmingway's iceberg...more like going straight to the craggy bottom.

I could go on for a while about other examples of why this film is good, but I want to hear what you think first. Watch it for yourself, or if you've already watched it, watch it again. See how much of the story you can piece together and how much you're left wanting to know. If you're anything like me, both lists will be longer than you might think possible for a twelve minute film. And that is why it's the perfect prequel for The Darjeeling Limited...it draws you in and leaves you hungry for more of these damaged characters.

Wes Anderson's new film The Darjeeling Limited was released yesterday. That fact sparked a debate with a friend of mine, who's convinced that he's gone downhill lately.

It snowballed into a debate on his fans. She asserted that his were mainly pretentious, super-ironic, atrocious hipster-types. Which, is hard to deny, that certainly describes some of them. She also thought that there was a good chance that people who love Wes Anderson, despite ther pseudo-cred, actually love a ton of unfunny shit as well. I disagreed.

Somehow Adam Sandler came up, a person I'm not a fan of. My friend claimed that Adam Sandler fans, a group I said was comprised mainly of jocks, date-rapists and morons, were likely to be just as respectable as Anderson's, if not more so. She also claimed there'd be some overlap, people liking both, which I found preposterous.

The debate centered around "The Life Aquatic," a movie I feel is flawed, but still super fucking hilarious. She found it empty and walked out of it with the rage of a sun going supernova.

We decided the best way to compare fans would be to do a Myspace interest search for each film, then compare the top 5 people listing the movie, judging them by their taste in other films. Here are the results of that test.

The Life Aquatic vs. Billy Madison

The Life Aquatic

1 - Ryan (I quickly move past his General interest of "sexy ladies" and check out his movie likes.)

Movies: Bum Fights, Anchorman, Rushmore, Life Aquatic

(Let's say Bum Fights and Anchorman cancel each other, leaving behind Rushmore. I'm happy with that.)

2 - Rob

Movies: Life Aquatic, Dodgeball, Shawshank Redemption, Anchorman
Ooh. Dodgeball.

(Dodgeball? Tsk. That stings. But whatever, Vaughn and Bateman were funny... in other things)

3 - Kayla

Movies: Lost in Translation, Rushmore, Royal Tennenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Amelie, The Virgin Suicides, Royal Holiday, Sabrina, Charade, Funny Face, The Godfather, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Resevoir Dogs.

(Nice! Except for the Amelie part, a movie my friend describes as "a twee piece of whimsical fairy-droppings.")

4 - Greg

Movies: garden state,slc punk,riding vans with boys,the life aquatic with steve zissuo.

(That Barrymore movie's fucking my shit up.)

5 - dr kevorkian

Movies: Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, High Anxiety, Love Actually, The Life Aquatic, Mr. Hollands Opus.

(At this point my friend asked if, due to circumstances involving Mr Holland's Opus, I'd like to forfeit. I said no. But I knew I'd taken a huge hit.)

Billy Madison

1 - Kyle

Movies: shawshank redemption, billy madison, batman, matrix, royal tenenbaums, vacation, fight club, tombstone. (Damn, she comes out strong. Plus, extra consideration for proving me wrong with the Tenenbaums mention.)

2 - Alex

Movies: Juice, Bully, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Jay and Silent Bob, Clerks, Chasing Amy.

(Thank you Kevin Smith! I bet no one's ever said that before.)

3 - Taryn

Movies: Playing By Heart, Something about Mary, Billy Madison.

(Hahahahaah! She's in trouble. Plus, my friend noted that Taryn's taste in music had "burned out her eye sockets.")

4- Rachel

Movies: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Lord of the Rings, Starwars, Old School, Billy Madison, Less than Zero,Billy Madison.

(She loves Star Wars just enough to misspell it.)

5 - Scott

Movies: BILLY MADISON,PULP FICTION,GONE IN 60 SECONDS,FROM DUSK TIL DAWN,ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO,THE WAY OF THE GUN.

(Scott loves ALL CAPS and Gone in 60 Seconds... Two unpardonable sins.)


There it is. The results of the most scientific judging system known to mankind. My friend conceded that her guys were dumber but that mine did not have better taste. Again, I disagree.





TheCoolerKing plans on finding his future wife through a cross referenced Myspace/Facebook/SG interest search