A month and a half after my last encounter with heavy metal enigma Baroness at Scion Rock Fest in Atlanta, I find myself on the other side of the Atlantic (in Antwerp, Belgium if you want to get specific about it) at the band's first show of their headlining tour in Europe. While the Savannah, Georgia-based four-piece played their epic riffs alongside High On Fire, Neurosis, Converge and Mastodon in February, Baroness is riding solo for the next couple of weeks. Recently listed as one of Spin magazine's Top Five Metal Bands You Should Know, I am fairly sure this is something I don't want to miss out on.

Arriving in Antwerp, I nearly forgot how sketchy this city gets until I'm harassed by Jesus freaks and other weird dudes, but I get to the club in time and with both hands intact. (Supposedly the city's name comes from an old tale of a giant who demanded a toll from anyone crossing the river near where he lived. If the traveler refused to pay up, the giant would cut off one of his/her hands and throw (= 'werpen' in Dutch) it into the river. True story, but I digress.) A couple hundred Belgian longhairs have gathered at club Trix on this Thursday night to see what has gained nothing less of a cult following since the release of the 2004 debut EP First. On stage the band's trademark heavy riffs, intense vocals and thundering percussion all come together creating a haunting and more powerful vision than what a recording could ever capture. I am impressed. Also adding to the band's mystique is its iconic artwork by frontman John Baizley, whose detailed visual creativity extends to album covers of Kylesa, Darkest Hour, Cursed, Vitamin X and Torche. Needless to say the limited silk screened prints made for this tour (thanks to Richard at merchandise.nl) are one of a kind. After the show we hang out on the club's roof for a while but later we take it outside where some of us end up at a Eurotrash-looking joint while others crash out at the hotel to rest before tomorrow's trip to the UK.



The next morning I am voted a-okay which means I get to stay, and by the afternoon we step foot into Birmingham, hometown of Napalm Death, Judas Priest and Black Sabbath. UK shows tend to get pretty wild so I'm stoked to be back on British grounds again unexpectedly. However, in true British fashion it's raining and I can't find a pair of decent jeans to save my life, so I am confined to now wet spandex leggings for another day. Anyway, by ten p.m. Hare & Hounds is packed with a rare mix of metal heads, bearded stoners, crust punks and a handful of scene kids, and Baroness sound even louder and more colossal than the night before, which makes for a most excellent second gig. Shout-outs to SuicideGirl Joseph and her guy for showing up and hanging out with us until closing time.

You haven't really been to England if you haven't had a full English breakfast, so team Baroness meet up with some friends for baked beans on toast, fried eggs, sausages and the likes before hitting the road again the next day. In the van I get my virtual ass kicked (Summer has obviously played GoldenEye 007 before), as I suck big time at first-person shooter video games (I'm more of a RPG kinda girl if you must know). Also, who knew John Baizley is the best air drummer in the universe!? In Sheffield we are greeted by our friend Slomo who is promoting tonight's show, and while the dudes soundcheck and do what they've got to do I head into town in search of a change of wardrobe. When I return the band has acquired four animal masks that are nearly as frightening as they are hilarious. Peter's penguin face still gives me the creeps. As showtime rolls around the fog machine is in overdrive (hello Spinal Tap), actually making the animal-headed grand entrée even more surreal! The tone is set for tonight judging by the confusion and intrigue among the crowd, even (or especially?) when halfway through the intro Baroness unmask themselves and their intricate performance unfolds. By now I am convinced that we are dealing with the next best thing in music. Stoked on tonight's gig, most of us stick around at the Corporation for the gothic/metal afterparty which ends up in one ridiculous blur with middle-aged air guitar heroes, scantily clad horror shows and getting completely lost in town at 4 a.m. What city are we in again!?



Waking up to a surprisingly minimal hangover (gotta love being twenty-two) and dreary weather we head down south to Bristol, where Baroness are set to play tonight. While my last memory of this place involves Daughters and a haunted police station, I'm not having it with any apparitions today, so I crash out at the hotel for a couple of hours before meeting up with Nikhita and Joseph who both happen to be in town tonight. The Croft is tiny as hell which definitely contributes to this being the wildest and probably loudest show of the UK leg of this tour. Taking in account the past couple of days, this is pretty unbelievable. The new songs that will be recorded on the follow-up to their Red Album later this year especially get a great response from the sweaty masses tonight. This is also where I discover my love for pear cider, and am very happy about the prospect of sleeping in the next day. (The two are clearly related.)

Being one of my favorite cities, I'm very excited to be back in the capital of England the next day. I always feel like London is a couple of steps ahead of everyone else in Europe when it comes to music, and I have no doubts in my mind that the Underworld will reflect this tonight. My thoughts are confirmed when I spy more than a few High On Fire, Torche, and Kylesa shirts wandering around in Camden Town (the St. Mark's Place of London) before the show. Supported by local bands Latitudes and Manatees, I have never heard Baroness sound better, which is also why it's a good idea to bring an awesome sound guy like Jason. After an hour and a half of progressive sludge stoner doom (try saying that five times hella fast) the party is definitely on at St. Christopher's Inn (note to self: don't drink cocktails with names like 'gas chamber'), and while they may be out of sight after tonight, they certainly won't be out of mind.

I came across an amazingly candid (and funny) list of annoyances from The Creepy Crawl in St Louis. I’m going to be there in a couple of weeks so I hope that I don’t end up on their next list. Check out the complete list of shows here:


Thursday 9/20 - Austin, TX @ Elysium
There will be a FREE Tour:Smart seminar and Q&A session at the Elysium from 6pm - 9pm...
After the seminar, the band Chant is playing a show at the venue, which Martin will be DJing. The Elysium is located at 705 Red River St. in Austin, TX.

Saturday 9/22 - Atlanta, GA @ Criminal Records
FREE in-store Tour:Smart seminar beginning at 3pm.
Criminal Records is located at 466 Moreland Ave NE in Atlanta, GA.

Sunday 9/23 - Mobile, AL @ Satori Sound Coffee House
FREE Tour:Smart seminar beginning at 6pm. Located at 5460 Old Shell Rd in Mobile, AL.

Monday 9/24 - New Orleans, LA @ University of New Orleans
Closed lecture on Legal Issues at University of New Orleans at 6pm. Available for events in New Orleans during the day, and those of you in New Orleans, check out the Baton Rouge event on Thursday...

Tuesday 9/25 – Baton Rouge, LA @ The L Bar
Tour:Smart Seminar 6pm – 9pm at the L Bar. FREE. Presented by Presonus
Martin will be DJing along with Brad from Torrent Vaccine. Presonus will be providing some amazing studio equipment as free giveaways during the event. Located at 174 South Blvd. in Baton Rouge, LA.

Wednesday 9/26 – Memphis, TN @ University of Memphis
Closed lecture at University of Memphis.

Thursday 9/27 – Columbia, MO @ TBA
Tour:Smart seminar, details to follow.

Friday 9/28 – St. Louis, MO @ East Central College, Vintage Vinyl, and Creepy Crawl.
Two closed lectures at East Central College.
FREE public Tour:Smart info-session and seminar at Vintage Vinyl at 5pm. Located at 6610 Delmar Blvd. in St Louis, MO.
Martin Atkins will then be DJing in between sets at Creepy Crawl, beginning at 9pm, located at 3524 Washington Ave. in St. Louis MO.


And, want to know more about the designated idiot t-shirt? That’s in a couple of weeks… You can get one of the shirts free when you order the book from us. ORDER HERE

And it's still cheap as F**K at Amazon. There's a pic of me wearing it on the Mancow show.




Bestest and be safe out there

MarteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeN Atkins


Top Annoying Things That Bands Do

1. Bands that feel compelled to bang on their drums and guitars in an annoying display of lack of talent before the doors open. Usually this occurs when we are trying to talk to someone on the phone or give instructions to employees. There is a place for this type of behavior, it’s called your basement.

2. Out of town bands that show up and say, "We decided to bring another band with us, don't worry, they just need gas money and pizza."

3. Out of town bands that watch you order their pizzas with "the works" and after they arrive tell you, "Oh, we're all vegetarians, can we get buy-outs instead?"

4. Local bands with managers.

5. Local bands that have a girlfriend as their manager (Can you say annoying pain in the ass?) This usually marks the beginning of the end for most bands at the Creepy.

6. Bands that bring their own "personal" sound-tech. After seeing him try to operate the soundboard for 5 minutes the house soundman concludes that this guy has absolutely no clue how to operate a PA. Accordingly, the band sounds like total shit.

7. Bands that have more roadies than band members.

8. Bands that spell their names with a strange spelling twist e.g., junkeez, katz etc. After meeting the band, however, we are left with the impression that they didn't intentionally try and spell their name with a twist but rather they probably just don't know how to spell.

9. The out of town band that was lucky to get the gig, brought absolutely nobody, bitched all night long about their time slot, when told they had 1 song left in their set play 4 more anyway who when being paid out $50 in gas money asks, "Is this the best you can do?"

10. Bands that arrive and state that they talked to someone at the club and were told they get to play 3rd at 10:30 and can play for an hour. When asked the name of the person they talked to they suddenly forget their name but are sure they talked to "someone".

11. Bands who all arrive at the same time but no one is willing to play first. Subsequently the show doesn't start until 11:30 and everyone has 10 minute sets.

12. Top 3 signs that the band will bring no one to the show - 1) 2 Weeks before the show they say "We're gonna pack your place!" - 2) 1 Week before the show they ask - "What's your capacity?" - 3) Upon arriving at the gig they ask "So how many people do YOU usually get on a Wednesday night?"

13. Bands who draw is so bad that even their guests don't show up.

14. Bands who have no guests because they have no friends.

15. Bands who bring absolutely no one to their first gig and then call back incessantly to ask for another show and can't understand why they haven't gotten asked back. That's fine, we don't have to eat this month and we really dig watching you guys rock out to our empty club. Bands who fit this category don't need to bother calling back because the booking guy will always be away when you call.

16. Bands who after drawing no one at the end of the night apologize by saying, "geez, after you booked us we booked ourselves to play at the Hi-Pointe last night and we told all our friends to go to that show, that's probably why no one came tonight. BTW, when do you think we can play here again?" (Note: see above for our response.)

17. Bands who pester you to book their bands "side-project". Side-project is another name for self-indulgent crap so embarrassingly bad they can't dignify it with a name and gives them a cover why none of their friends will come see them "perform". (Would you go see your friend masturbate if they asked you to come watch?) Note to bands: think of your side-project as a project never to get booked again.

18. Bands who show up wearing "All Access" laminates around their neck. (Note to these bands: We honor these laminates for the bathroom and parking lot areas only.) I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up but you don't see me walking around wearing a spacesuit at the club. We're convinced these people are recovering air guitar addicts from the '80s.

19. Bands who right before their set ask to play without a PA so it won't be deducted from their pay. (This has actually happened before.) Sure, we'll just ask the sound guy to go home for a 1/2 hour.

20. Bands that want to play in front or the side of the stage.

21. Bands that suck and then ask if you'll swap them out a shirt. You know, our shirts actually cost us money and I really doubt anyone at the club wants to wear your shirt. How about if we swap stickers and call it even?

22. Band members that ask 10 times throughout the night for a water or soda (usually in a nasally whining voice.) Typically this occurs when your in the middle of doing something important like counting down the drawer or dealing with actual paying customers. They usually like to precede their requests with a, "Do you think its possible I could get a...." etc. etc. We feel like responding, "Do you think it's possible you could shut the fuck up and go away?"

I’ve been scanning the web for news of this for months, and Pitchfork has finally done the honors by bringing the good news. Perennial guilty pleasure The Cure has at long last dusted off its chorus pedals and is reportedly hard at work finishing up its latest album.

The as-yet-untitled, goth-pop opus is scheduled to drop sometime this autumn on Suretone/Geffen, and will be the band's 13th album (oooh). Hopefully they won’t bother doing a “Friday (the 13th) I’m in Love” version of their ‘92 hit, as that would be tacky even by Robert Smith standards.

This new release marks the first album without keyboardist Roger O’Donnell and guitarist Perry Bamonte, who were with the band since 1987 and 1990 respectively, and were both fired in 2005. Guitarist Porl Thompson, a member of the original ’76 lineup, has since rejoined.

But there’s more gothy goodness: Mr. Smith has dug up his trusty makeup case and will be embarking on an intercontinental tour that’ll hit up Australia, Asia, and America. Check it:

Here's some classic live Cure:

Wilco have added some North American dates to their world tour which is beginning this month in support of the forthcoming album Sky Blue Sky. The new album is due May 15th from Nonesuch records.

The tracklist:

The new album has been getting on-demand streams at the site, but they are timed. We just missed one. Sorry, my fault. But check back as they appear to go up semi-regularly. In the meantime, you can listen to the new track "What Light" anytime you want to at the band's myspace.

You can preorder the band's new CD/DVD and the band have added some serious incentive to do so including a free video download of Wilco performing a track from the album in their loft. In addition to that is the chances to win prizes.

Prizes!

Prizes are awarded once a week until the release date.

The companion DVD is a film by band friends Brendan Canty and Christoph Green and called Shake If Off. The 48 minute feature follows the band for a year compiling interviews, behind the scene moments, and rehearsals.

The tour:

This summer, two bands of elderstatesmen in the Satanic Heavy Rock Army will be forging an unholy alliance. That's right, though it may disgust some fans while delight others, Slayer and Marilyn Manson will co-headline a summer tour of North America beginning July 25th and wrapping up sometime in September. The tour will also feature two more yet-to-be announced support acts. My money's on the Suicide Girls in one of those slots, considering some SGs participated in Manson's recent video shoot.

As previously reported, Manson will be promoting the forthcoming Eat Me, Drink Me on the tour while Slayer will still be riding on the wave of last year's Christ Illusion. The two mammoth bands will tour European festivals seperately before joining forces for the North American trek.

In related news, Manson recently sat down with Rolling Stone's Austin Scaggs to discuss Eat Me. The interview reveals several track titles including "Just a Car Crash Away," "Putting Holes in Happiness," "Rebels Without Applause," "The Red Carpet Grave," "You, Me and the Devil Makes 3," and the six-minute-plus track "If I was Your Vampire," which Manson calls

Manson appears April 13th on IFC's The Henry Rollins Show.

Full dates for the Slayer/Manson tour will be announced soon.

Art Brut have announced the follow up to their smash debut Bang Bang Rock & Roll. Their sophomore disc will hit shelves in the US on June 26th, and while no release date is set for the UK, it's safe to bet that it will be June 25th. We do know that the new album It's A Bit Complicated features some horns and the production of Dan Swift. We don't know the tracklist but Eddie Argos and Co. have let slip a few song titles including "Pump Up the Volume," "Direct Hit," "Post Soothing Out," and "Late Sunday." The lead off single will be "Nag Nag Nag."

In support, Art Brut have announced a tour in both the UK and US.

I have not seen the quintet live, but I am assured that until I do, my life will not be complete. Having heard this, my fear in now going is knowing that my life might possibly be complete following the finale encore of the show.

If you like your music to take you to the land of crazy shameless ass-shaking, then you like !!!. Life's that simple.

To gear up for the band's latest offering Myth Takes, !!! have launched a new website. This is welcome news to fans who were probably tired of their overly crappy previous website. The new album came out just last week, and continued to get love from Pitchfork. You can make your own decision by clearing some furniture and heading over to the site, where the album is streaming for prospective buyers.

The band this week announced some summer dates in the States in addition to their current European trek. I can highly recommend this band live. Even though I believe you have to be in the mood for listening to a !!! CD, seeing them live is an anytime affair. Their energy is so infectious!!!

Tour Tour Tour.

When it comes to old-timey rockers, some of them you check out because they still got it, and some people you go just for the nostalgia factor. Somehow, Morrissey defies both these camps and sets himself squarely in the middle. Yeah, he's not the Smiths, but still his solo music has filled a snotty, smart-alecky, pretentious hole that he left behind at the Smiths' end. I'm not being pissy, I saw Morrissey in the 90s and grabbing Morrissey in my arms before being ushered off stage ranks among my great concert going moments.

Should you want to relive memories you never had, Moz is heading out on a pretty substantial US tour so that newly blossomed Smiths fans can have an inkling of what it was like in the eighties. When we first got wind of a tour being organized, I thought a maybe a handful of dates. Not the case.

Citizen Cope, aka Clarence Greenwood, is hitting the road this spring to promote his latest Every Waking Moment. Cope's never received much attention from the taste-makers, surviving for three albums now on steadily growing word of mouth and licensing deals reluctantly made. His live shows are a crazy mix of people, old and young, hippies and R'nB lovers. The singer/songwriter is bringing his full band with him for the spring tour, a cast of session guys who make the music really drive.

The tickets to Cope shows regularly sell out. Presale tickets for the spring tour go up tomorrow. Password: COPE.

More dates are expected soon, because the dude never stops touring.

In case you haven't heard it, the third album is a step forward and a step back for Cope. Self-producing once again, him and dutch engineer Steef Van De Gevel explore some new territory sonically on the album while Cope's lyrics become more personal and introspective than previous work. He's been criticized for making the lyrics on this album too vague as compared to his last effort The Clarence Greenwood Recordings, but even at his most indecipherable Cope's lyrics feel more relevant and personal than half the shit you hear making the kids swoon.

Here is the first single from the album "Back Together." I don't know what it's about, but it's good.

As previously reported, grandaddy rockers The Stooges will be releasing their first album in 34 years, The Weirdness, on March 20th.

Today is more cause for celebration as the band have announced a handful of live dates in support of the forthcoming LP. There are likely more dates to be announced as time draws closer to the release of Weirdness.

The Stooges begin their live extravaganzas at the South By Southwest festival (which has a mind-blowing line-up this year), March 8th.

Main Stooge, Iggy Pop will also be interviewed by rock journalist David Fricke as part of an interview series at the festival's Music & Media Conference. The interview takes place at The Austin Convention Center on March 16th.

The Stooges Tour Dates:

Recommended Viewing:
A taste of what your in for live, The Stooges performing "I Wanna Be Your Dog" circa 2006. WARNING: If Iggy Pop's asscrack is not something you want to see, you probably shouldn't watch this.

UK buzzband Klaxons will be hitting North American shores with their unique brand of dance-punk in April. The London quartet will play one show in Toronto on April 8th before dashing through a handful of US dates including their previously reported slot at Coachella.

The band's debut album, Myths of the Near Future, was released in the UK last month and will be available stateside on March 27th.

U.S. Tour Dates

Recommended Viewing:

Klaxons' "Magick"

Los Angeles shoegazing quartet Midnight Movies has announced a tour in support of its sophomore release, Lion The Girl, out April 27th via New Line Records. The band played a send-off show last night in Los Angeles and next week they land on the east coast for the official tour kick-off at the Mercury Lounge in New York. As previously reported, the band's first single, "Patient Eye" from the forthcoming album, is available in stores now and via iTunes.

Tour Dates:

MP3:
"Patient Eye (Single Edit)"
(Right Click, "Save Target As...", to download)

Recommended Viewing:

"Patient Eye" Video

The Killers have announced a spring tour of the US. I don't like these guys, but in case you do, you should know tickets for all the events will be available for pre-sale this Saturday through the band's website.

I am urging you to do this, because while you're purchasing tickets to the show you won't be causing traffic issues on Ticketmaster.com so I can my get my Coachella tickets stress free.

Thanks.

Here are the dates:

Low has come up with a new title for its forthcoming LP since we last reported on the band. Guns and Drums will be released March 20th via Sub Pop. The content, though, is still primarily focused on death and killing. Here is the album's track-listing:

The band has planned its path of destruction to support the new album. Fellow Sub Pop band Loney, Dear will open a handful of the April dates.

London trio, The Noisettes, have gained some fame in the last year for their unbridled and unpredictable live gigs showcasing the band's signature noisey-pop, fronted by powerhouse vocalist Shingai Shoniwa. After a series of critically acclaimed singles (including the floorfiller "Don't Give Up," released just last month) the band has finally announced the release of its much anticipated debut LP. The 10-track album is titled What's the Time, Mr. Wolf? and will be released on February 5th, preceded by the single "Sister Rosetta" on January 29th. The Noisettes are currently wrapping up a European tour with Muse, and will be right back on the road in the new year to headline through the UK.

Recommended Viewing:

"Don't Give Up" Video


and a clip from the video for "IWE"

The Indie quintet with a penchant for getting photographed outdoors, Midlake, has announced to overjoyed fans its plans for an extensive trek across the US starting in February, with UK tour dates to follow in the spring. The band of bearded Texans released its stellar sophomore album of 1970's AM radio influenced rock, The Trials of Van Occupanther, this past summer and has been making year-end Top Tens (including this writer's) like nobody's business.

Recomended Viewing:

Single Of The Year, Midlake's "Roscoe" video


and

their video for "Head Home" (mash-up version)

Progressive-hardcore quintet, The Blood Brothers, have just released a video for the second single "Set Fire To The Face On Fire," from their most recent full-length effort, Young Machetes. The clip features a mummy that shoot lasers from its eyes and fingertips, a city of square-headed people made of construction paper, a leopard, and floating skulls. In other words, it's way rad.

The Blood Brothers are currently on tour with ...And You Wil Know Us By The Trail of Dead and Celebration.

Tour Dates:

Dec 6 Crystal Ballroom Portland, OR
Dec 7 Showbox Seattle, WA
Dec 9 Sugar Night Club Victoria, BC
Dec 10 Croatian Cultural Center Vancouver, BC
Dec 11 MacEwan Ballroom Calgary, AB
Dec 12 The Venue Formerly Known as Red's Edmonton, AB
Dec 14 Avalon Theatre Salt Lake City, UT

Further Viewing:
An awesome live performance of "Trash Flavored Trash" from their album, Crimes

If you like Clinic, I have good news. They are planning a North American tour. If you can't get enough of Clinic, I have bad news too. They are planning only one, and it's small and short. In fact, it's less a tour really, and more like a quick visit. According to the message from their press release, America only needs a small dose of Clinic:

The tour is in support of their latest full length Visitations – out now in the UK, it won't hit North American shores until January 23rd. You can, however, listen to the album now, streaming on their website.

First and last chance:

If you haven't heard Clinic, here is a sample from the new album. The first video "Harvest":

Coldplay is mad at us. You can tell because when they decided to take a break from the studio and try out some of the new songs in a live environment they didn't pick the US. It would have been fine if they went with the UK or Europe, I mean they just walk out the door and play. Can't complain about that. But picking Latin America over the US was a specific, subtle jab at the United States. From their website:

Tell me that's not a fuck you everybody else...

Ok, nobody liked X&Y. We're sorry, guys. But you still wrote Rush of Blood… and Parachutes…and we loved those.

Maybe it's not our fault, maybe if the people in Latin America spoke English as their primary language they'd have realized that the lyrics were kinda phoned in. Then you'd realize, it's not us, it's you. Still, we're ready to give you the benefit of the doubt. But not if you're going to be going online saying crap like that. You could have just said something like, "We're going to Latin America because the weather is nice right now." No big deal. Not we personally prefer their hospitality to yours USA.

Anyway, here are the dates:

The new album is expected by late 2007. It as yet untitled.

Just two months prior the release of their 5th album Existentia (due out in North America on Jan. 30th), and one week before their European X-Mass Festival tour, the Norwegian gothic metal band Trail of Tears has called it quits. Looks like the holidays are going to feel a little dismal this year for metal heads.

Here’s their goodbye letter: