by Flux

Every week we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the social web to show us their finest ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday; our favorite submission from Twitter and Tumblr each wins a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check this week's winners below.

From Twitter:



 

@1nine8three has a killer Tank Girl hula pinup. Tank Girl was an SG before SG existed.

From Tumblr:

 



themusicgetsyouhigh won with her SUPER CUTE baby bulldog!

If you haven't won this week, don't forget that you can enter each week until you do, so good luck next Tuesday, and happy inking!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours...that means permanently etched on your body.


• On Twitter we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Flux

Every week we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the social web to show us their finest ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday; our favorite submission from Twitter and Tumblr each wins a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this week's winners below:


From Twitter:




@HairbyDeezy has a fantastic, sweet portrait of her mom!





From Tumblr:






squidbeard has a nautical scene with a killer cephalopod.

If you haven't won this week, don't forget that you can enter each week until you do, so good luck next Tuesday, and happy inking!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours...that means permanently etched on your body.


• On Twitter we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter and Tumblr and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!


From Twitter:


[greg_rigo]





From Tumblr:


[peacockskin-]







Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Keith Daniels

Moving into academia after a career in the field of "taking your clothes off on the internet" can be tricky, however tattoos might actually have an upside professionally. A 2010 study published in the journal Psychological Reports found that college instructors with visible tattoos are perceived more positively by undergraduate students.


[Leiko in Lesson Plan]

Participants found the tattooed instructor more motivating and were more likely to recommend him or her to other students. Oddly enough, students also felt that a professor with barbed-wire or cross tattoos was more imaginative. The effects of nautical stars or totally sweet tribals were not studied.

Hat-tip: NCBI ROFL.

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter and Tumblr, and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com. It really does get harder and harder to choose a favorite…

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[raqzzz]





From Tumblr:





[hunnyortar]

Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter and Tumblr, and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:





[ismokesour]





From Tumblr:





[thealanfoster]

Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter and Tumblr, and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[cocobachaud]






From Tumblr:



[lipshipsandcigs] *this is the first black light tattoo winner so far!

Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[agentembrio]






From Tumblr:



[chibimoonlove]

Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[@calissemichele]






From Tumblr:





[cmcg]

From MySpace:



[yvette_dyan]









Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[@mellokittie]






From Tumblr:





[bloodyknuckles.tumblr.com]







Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



[@wesshawismyname]






From Tumblr:





[arksnapshot.tumblr.com]







Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:





[doctorparadox]





From Tumblr:





[sleepmyprettysleep]



From MySpace:

[We are currently having an issue viewing our MySpace comments! #FAIL We will announce the winner from MySpace as soon as this issue is resolved! Stay tuned!]





Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



muhlman





From Tumblr:



-lonelystoner



From MySpace:



a-kittin





Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



RaquelRogue



From Tumblr:



heytherekitten



From MySpace:



pollicinello



Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos! If you haven’t won, you can continue to enter each week until you do!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Alana Joy

Every week we ask you guys to show us your ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday: we choose one favorite submission each from Twitter, Tumblr, and MySpace and they win a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com. Check out this weeks winners!



From Twitter:



@epicrickroll

From Tumblr:



mopka

From MySpace:



rhcplover1313

Good luck next week to everyone else who sent in their tattoos!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.


• The tattoo has to be yours, as in: on your body.


• On Twitter: we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag: #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!


• You can enter every week, unless you’ve already won in the past.

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

So there was this kid come in the fucking tattoo shop looking to set up and work for the summer. New Jack. Another one...His name was Jason or Jimmy or something like that. Truth is I don't remember his name. Hell, I never remembered any of their fucking names, or faces either. Couldn't be bothered really, not unless they were intelligent or interesting or had that certain something that made them stand out from the vast thundering herds invading the tattoo shop every day looking for work or looking for tattoos...And that was a rare fucking instance, believe me. Maybe one in a hundred, or even a thousand. Who the fuck knows? I couldn't even begin speculating on such calculations at the time. I was mostly way too busy just tattooing them, giving them the mark. Dealing with their need to pick out a fucking design, getting them into the chair, separating them from their trembling, hesitant cash and getting them the fuck out the door, satisfied and fulfilled as quickly and efficiently as humanly possible.

That was the only real goal at Fun City Tattoo anymore. It had earned itself a world famous reputation for excellence as a one-of-a-kind, artsy-fartsy custom design orientated world-class tattoo studio way back in the day. But that day was long gone now. Now it was just another walk in, sit down, get it on and get 'em out the door scene...Old School tactics for New Age Economics...Most of the New Jacks didn't get that. They were still all hung up on the legend, the image, the unsustainable ethics of the thing. Shit. I'd created a monster. And I'd had to kill it and put it out of its misery, legend, mystique, ethics and all. Good fucking riddance.

Now the game was cash and carry tattooing. Most of the New Jacks wanted to resurrect the monster. So for me they were mostly just a notch or two above the average idiot customer. You know the type. ''Last week I couldn't even spell 'Tattoo Artist' and now I are one...''

But I needed a new hand to fill the spot left open when the last new guy spent all his undeserved chump change on crack and ended up in the East River after pissing off some underworld people I may or may not have known... So here's this kid, Jimmy or Jason or whatever standing there. New Jack...Shit. New Jacks. The New Age scourge of the tattoo shop...Risen like mail order Frankenstein Monsters from the ranks of the tattooed. Ahhhh, the tattooed...

It was 1990 in New York City. Tattooing was still illegal and it was a full time job separating those fucking fools from their cash. I knew the boom days were long bottomed out and I just wanted to make as much cash out of whatever was left as quickly and efficiently as possible and get the fuck out of the game. Take the money and run back to Brazil where I belonged. And I was working it hard. I was pretty good at it too. It just took a bit of tact and focus now. Because, like bewildered children on their first day of school, those walk-in tattoo customers mostly just didn't know what the fuck they even wanted. They really didn't know much about nothing, not as far as I could ever tell....They just knew they craved the fucking mark for some fuzzy primal reason that probably only God really knew. And He wasn't fucking saying.

For most of those tattoo shoppers beating the door down with too much money and not enough sense, it seemed as though all concerns for art or relevance or elegance or significance were at best little more than so many fleeting afterthoughts –– if the fuckers ever thought at all. Who the fuck knew?

Some of them could be a real pain though, that's for sure...Especially the goofy thrill-seeking rich college cunts who came in slumming around, shopping for their trendy little badges of hip, slick coolness, their impulsive, narcissistic hormone-driven rites of passage...Those bitches would invariably show up at the shop all clustered together in nervous protective little gaggles, giggling and talking real fast and frantic in shrill demanding tones –– probably to hide their quivering sheep-like trepidation about being there at all...They all just looked like so many fucking clucking little chickens to me. Except for the fact that there was always at least one grossly FAT one among their ranks. The Mother Hen from hell...Sometimes they were all fat. Then it was like the fucking Invasion of the Twinkie Snatchers or something. God have mercy!

And then they all always had to have something "totally original" –– Yeah right...Shit, I'd learned a long time ago that if I ever actually tried to show these sub-humanoid suburban throwbacks anything really original or challenging, I'd be met with those same old blank bovine stares, if not a reaction of pure incredulous terror before they all skated out the door as if I'd pulled out my dick and asked 'em to lick it like a lollipop. Maybe if I'd have just done that some of 'em woulda stuck around for an original tattoo at long last. At least the fat ones...

But I was long wise to their ways. Over twenty years in the chair had taught me that I might as well be selling computer programs to pygmies when it came to talking to walk-in tattoo customers. So I always tried to keep it real simple for 'em...

Ahhhh, but they all always had to be "original". Yep, original...That was an absolute must. Original –– just like everybody else that ever came stampeding in the door of any fucking walk-in tattoo shop in the world...As a whole they were a staggeringly predictable bunch. So I'd learned to steer them straight over to the most common and popular designs on the wall then just suggest a few minor changes of juxtaposition with some other common theme...Or there was always the good old color switch that never failed to make their design appear all "original" and therefore highly personal and meaningful to their idiot sense of retarded aesthetics.

There were several key words that they always loved to hear, words that really got them all revved up and would help to quickly separate the legions of tire kickers from those bold, courageous few who actually really had the tattoo bug, the itch that would give them the courage to shut the fuck up and get their goddamned cattle brand and part with their fucking cash...Key Words like 'freehand', 'detailed', 'fine line', 'delicate' or 'bold' or whatever the fuck –– all depending on the customer's obvious leaning of course, which was usually pretty easy to detect if you paid attention to their body language and so on...

Then it was just a matter of patience, tact and the proper use of those blessed Key Words. That shit never failed to fill the bill for those legions of dimwits...Meaningless little words that magically inspired their immediate undying confidence, enthusiasm and generosity... Always combined, of course with the ever-present assurance that this tattoo was a great and original choice and just happened to be my specialty and my "favorite style'' to work in...Shit I might as well have been repairing toaster ovens or re-soling shoes for the freaks. It was all the same to me. All it ever was to me was, at best the competent application of technical skills you could teach to a smart chimpanzee. That and the sincere desire to do the best job possible by whatever means it took to do so –– even straight up base trickery in order to save those idiots from their own bad taste and boundless aesthetic ignorance. Other than that, it didn't make a shit's bit of difference to me if it was a polka-dotted purple spider, or a crocodile in a cowboy hat riding a moped they wanted tattooed on their silly ass hides for life.

"I like that one there," a girl would say pointing to a design of a butterfly the size of a tadpole, "but could you just change his expression a little, make his eyes more friendly? Give him an expression of whimsical kindness and wisdom?"

What the fuck? The eyes were gonna be the size of an ant's asshole anyway...Are you stupid? I would think. "Of course, darlin'" I would say reassuringly. "I know exactly what you mean. Umm hummm...Yeah, that's a great idea! And it'll really be original like that....No problem!"

Then you'd collect the cash and go in the back and sit at the drawing table and write a letter to a pal in prison or do a crossword puzzle or something, anything to give 'em the impression that you were back there diligently laboring over this great original artistic challenge for the required five minutes or so. Even if there was something good on the shop TV though, you didn't ever want to drag it out for too long after the obligatory five minutes and give 'em the chance to change their minds about the design you'd just sold 'em –– or worse yet to get cold feet and beat it out the door...You always had to keep one eye on the door, always bearing in mind that these people had the attention span, firmness of mind and courage of a fucking housefly...Once they beat it out the door, there was always the lurking threat of them coming back later trying to get a refund. Not that they ever got their money back. But who needed extra headaches?

Then you'd pull the old well-worn stencil out of the file and call them back, explaining that you were gonna make all the original artistic adjustments with a special "freehand technique'' or some shit...And, thus assured she'd finally sit back and let you do your job...The 'highly original, whimsical, kind, compassionate and wise-looking' butterfly or whatever the fuck. Just like you'd done it a thousand times before, using the same fucking stenciled design with no alteration whatsoever to its simple graceful lines and shading...But always with the constant reassurance that it was coming out great...even better than you expected. Key Words...They loved to hear that shit...And when you were done, you'd show them the mirror and ask them proudly how they liked it, as if you could really give a flying fuck, to which they'd invariably exclaim that it was great. Exactly the way they wanted it.

Hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it...Sometimes you just had to try to save the fuckers from themselves. Tactfully and with a good display of confidence. Tact always being defined as: ''The ability to tell someone to go to hell and make them feel glad to be on their way." Just like the little sign said...I'd picked that sign up at a truck stop in Louisiana and hung on the wall over my station there as a constant reminder to me just what the fuck I was dealing with there at Fun City Tattoo. The lowest common denominator. That little bit of truck stop wisdom was a sure fire antidote to any temptation towards Rembrandt-ism in the tattoo shop...

But lately it was a new breed. New Jacks. Rembrandts. I'd seen so many of these New Jack 'Rembrandts' in there actually try to follow the vague instructions of a confused and apprehensive customer...Sitting there for long painstaking hours drawing ten different renditions of the same stupid fly-fucking design. Actually attempting to achieve the nebulous qualities and characteristics dictated by a customer who didn't know his asshole from a Spaghettio, who really only needed some tactful reassurance and a sense of confidence and understanding from the person who was gonna do a tattoo on them... And after all, that's all it ever really took to get 'em in the chair. But noooo....The new kid, Jimmy or Jason or whatever the fuck his name was is gonna be another tattoo shop Rembrandt...I'd sit there quietly wincing as I watched the idiot customers play these New Jacks like pawn shop accordions...Now it was Jimmy or Jason or whatever...And sure enough, soon he was jumping through hoops of fire to try and please 'em on their unsteady, uninformed terms....Unnecessary 'artistic' waste of energy and time, I'd be thinking...

After hours of this painful shit, the customer would finally just get up and walk, saying they wanted to 'think about it'...Shit, bye bye time, bye bye money. Bye bye customer, never to return...

And make no mistake, in tattooing as in so many service trades, time IS money...If you waste it trying to reach for the stars, you can't put the time you wasted back on the shelf and sell it to someone else. It's time and it's gone, never to return...But most of these news guys really thought they were some kinda great artists...Artists in the classical sense...They took all the confused signals of a nervous client simply fishing for a little reassurance literally. Signals which took form in vague and inadvisable artistic requests...These young guns just didn't get it. Shit, these people didn't know or give a rat's ass about art, technique or any of the complex nuances of tattooing where the two elements ideally meet somewhere in the middle...All they really wanted was a little encouragement and positive affirmation, a little psychological hand-job to help them take the plunge and get their fucking mark and, pay up and go to the bar to celebrate their fucking rite of passage....That's all they were after. The MARK. At that point it was up to the tattooer to simply do a pretty good job fast, and make them feel comfortable, putting them at ease with a little razzle dazzle voodoo hoodoo, a little wave of the witch doctor's magic wand...

These new jacks just couldn't understand these folks, that all their vague and uninformed artistic input and pathetic art-directing was really nothing more than a veiled plea to be treated with a human touch and respect for their 'special' 'original' tattoo. I tried to explain this to the New Jacks over and over, this thing about customers. That they just wanted to be led by the nose, like frightened cattle through the spooky process by someone who could pretend that they 'understood' and sympathized with their 'special' status, their individual importance in the process of redefining their fuzzy, confused little self-image. All that through a simple, run of the mill tattoo. But to those customers it was a big fucking deal, a towering milestone in their lives. And for me it was as routine as doing an oil change or playing a game of poker with a winning hand. Somehow the New Jacks just didn't get it. I might as well have been trying to explain advanced physics to a roach on the shop wall...Probably because those New Jacks, like the average customer, thought themselves highly original and special. Shit. Many of the New Jacks thought of me as unethical and cynical. A Dinosaur...Maybe I was. But I had my reasons. I had seen 'em come and go for over twenty years. What was I supposed to do? That's why I just wanted to take the money and get out. Back to Brazil.

Sure there were exceptions to the rules, there's all kinds of people out there, especially in a trade as surreal and unpredictable as tattooing. An art form which, at it's best, always treads a fine line between the sacred creative process and an almost mystical power to affect people's lives profoundly on a deep spiritual level...And of course it's every tattooer's dream to meet up with that truly special customer who instinctively understands this indefinable magic, thus allowing the tattooer to push the envelope and make full use of his technical, creative, aesthetic and artistic abilities.

But what little Jimmy or Jason or whatever the fuck the little New Jack's name was didn't get was that those kinda customers have to come to you...There's absolutely no sense whatever in trying to make every tattoo a gigantic artistic challenge in a walk-in commercial tattoo shop, where no matter how good a rep for quality and work and professionalism the place may have, it's still a walk-in no bullshit place, mostly catering to thundering herds of the idiot masses. Period. Time is money, Bottom line. And the main purpose of a walk-in tattoo shop like that is to simply and efficiently provide a service and make people happy with the results. Next?

And to achieve that there's a lot more at play than razzle dazzle, artsy fartsy, avant-garde experimental tattooing, Especially taking into consideration the fact that, in the average walk-in street tattoo shop, something like 85% of the people who come in the door are just looking for the bloody MARK on their stinking hide. That's it. That's what the tattoo shop is to them...Sure they'd probably prefer a well-made mark to one of inferior quality. But most of the time they wouldn't even have known the fucking difference. So it's a tattooer's job to know the difference for them. And to that end, to be assertive (i.e.; lead them by the nose) and help the average impulsive idiot client just sit down and shut the fuck up and give him the fucking money and then get the fuck out...Sure, you will try to show them their options without alot of pain and mind games and do a good professional well-rendered tattoo of their choice. But if their choice is ill advised from a well informed professional aesthetic viewpoint -- which it usually is in a walk-in shop –– then it's your gig to tell them, "Yeah, of course, absolutely..." etc. and then just go ahead and translate their absurd uninformed notion of what they want –– which would probably look like dog shit smeared on a Persian rug, and give any real tattooer a nervous breakdown if taken literally –– into a feasible and well constructed version of what they wanted. And to do it efficiently...Which does NOT mean spending five hours taking art direction from confused, psychically challenged idiot impulse shoppers.

If these gung-ho new age nerds with overactive egos wanted to spend valuable shop time attempting to carve monuments to their own inflated ego's delusions of greatness (usually way out of proportion to their actual talent and technical abilities) into the quivering hides of the thundering masses who stumbled into the joint looking to get a brand whose personal significance to them far outweighed their desire for any fucking masterpiece of unprecedented dimensions, then the fucking New Jack could go the way of the proverbial starving artist and get the fuck out of my humble and well working full service BUSINESS where the main objective was to generate money while making people happy by doing quality tattoos on them.

Well that's what I was up against as an old school tattoo tradesman in a world where everyone was a fucking artiste. A brilliant groundbreaking creative giant who just hadn't been recognized in the highest regard and thereby rewarded with fame fortune and all the pie and pussy in the sky yet, usually because he was just too fucking great and talented and far ahead of his time. The victim of a cruel merciless world too insensitive to recognize his true genius. Sheee-it...

By the time I got out of the tattoo game and never once looked back in regret, everybody was so special and unique and overflowing with creative genius that it had long become a terrible stigma to not belong to the swelling ranks of self congratulatory creative artists...

Suddenly I wake up one day and find myself transformed into some kind of dirty old cynical dinosaur with a bad attitude. Oh well. I can live with that... Better to move in the shadows then stagnate in the light of an artificial self-made utopia that doesn't smell too classy anyway. So I got out...

So anyway, back to New York City, 1990, Fun City Tattoo and there was this kid. Jimmy or Jason or whatever...Another self-appointed bad boy Tattoo Artist with all the bells and whistles, boy...Got the greased back fifty dollar Rockabilly hair, the practiced slouch, artificial cool, cigarette behind the ear, the works...But who knows, he could be an okay guy, I'm thinking as he stands there in the front room with his little tattoo portfolio, hoping to get the job vacated by the last guy who's smoking crack with the fishes now...Looks to be trying maybe a little too hard...But I let it pass, cause ya never know. You never know, believe me... And where I came from, if it looked like a greaser and talked the talk, chances are it walked the walk...I always got along pretty good with greasers. But that shit was thirty years ago.

Are there any real greasers left? Is this just a fashion statement now? I dunno...Been out of the coop too long. Dinosaur Ville, baby...I live on Main Street, man. Oh Lord. And just when things were looking up. Oh well...Memories. I wish I had a lighthouse inside to keep 'em all from bumping into each other in the dark...




The tables are turned: Shaw gets a tattoo from one of his better known clients, actor and ink aficionado Johnny Depp.



(c) Jonathan Shaw 2009.

Jonathan Shaw began writing as a contributor for the LA Free Press in the late 60s. In the early 70s, he trained as a tattoo artist in Long Beach under the legendary Bob Shaw. He opened his own joint, Fun City Tattoo, in 1976 in New York's East Village. After traveling the world extensively as a tattoo artist and managing editor of tattoo magazines, he retired from tattooing in 2001, moving to Rio De Janeiro to begin his next chapter as a full time writer. His first book, Narcisa: Our Lady of Ashes, is available from Amazon.com.

To read more of Jonathan's writing check his blog at ScabVendor.com.

This fourth and final instalment of Erotic Ink takes you into the back room of the tattoo studio, clothes off, with the artist’s hands on your body, breath on your skin, the buzz, the pain, and the final afterglow. While it sounds all sexy, the majority of those who took my Tattoos and Sex Survey said that getting off was the last thing on their minds.

But it’s those dirty minds, the many who get aroused while being needled -- and even the few who achieved full orgasm -- who we’re gonna focus our affections on today.

We’ll hear of fantasies played out between client and artist, and rock star tattooist Paul Booth shares some salacious stories, which include a lot of writhing and a pair of vibrating panties.

But first let’s get to Questions 6 & 7 of the survey on whether hotness plays a role in choosing an artist:

Has the sexual attractiveness of a tattoo artist ever played a role in deciding whether to get work from that artist?

• Definitely 4.4%
• Somewhat 12.6%
• Not at all 83.0%

Like I mentioned in Part 1 of Erotic Ink, a lot of responses were of the “what-a-dumb-ass-question” variety, but I’ve been to enough tattoo conventions and overheard enough ladies room conversations about wanting to get work from a certain hot piece of ass that I felt rather justified in asking. And considering that almost 20% said it was a factor, I still feel no shame.

Yes, the art and skill is central to choosing a tattoo artist but, especially for those getting big work, being in close quarters to someone hellafine can be better than Oxycotin in making the time fly by.

Before I go further, in the interest of full disclosure, I should say that I’m fucking my tattoo artist pretty regularly, which is pretty good considering we’ve been married for a while. When I went to the NYC Tattoo Convention over seven years ago, I knew I wanted work from Dan because of his specialty in blackwork and hard-to-tattoo areas likes hands, feet, and faces (I got work on my hand). Yet, I gotta admit, I was on the fence about such a visible tattoo until I got to the booth and actually saw him. It is here I’ll use the horrid pun I’ve been dying to write since Part 1: At that moment, I knew I wanted him to poke me. [I’ll wait for the cringe to fade from your face before continuing. Ready?]

But I got lucky. I’ve never regretted that loin-based decision, but there are others who have, like 27-year-old Richard from England:

"I'm embarrassed to admit this, but when I was once given the choice of two tattoo artists who could tattoo me, I chose the attractive apprentice female over the experienced male. The woman who tattooed me was a very talented artist but she was an inexperienced tattooist and I paid the price: she tattooed too deep on me and I'm currently looking into my cover-up/repair options. I won't make that mistake again. It's one thing to get on a bus and choose to sit next to the hot girl rather than the fat guy, but a tattoo is for life."

Even if it wasn’t a factor in choosing an artist, the intimacy of tattooing can create attraction between artist and client particularly during long sessions. In Question 7, I asked:

If the sexual attractiveness of your tattoo artist was not a factor in your initial decision, have you ever become attracted to your artist during or after getting a tattoo from him or her?

• Definitely 11.2%
• Somewhat 18.6%
• Not at all 70.2%

Here the numbers do change, although probably not that significantly because, as the anecdotes suggest, many straight men are getting tattooed by other men, and many straight women prefer to be tattooed by other women.

But for breeders and gays alike, attraction can spark in the tattoo chair, as emphasized by responses like “I have secretly fantasized about the female artist that tattooed me” and “Oh yes, there's something insanely hot about having a man that close without a sexual climax; it's like a 3 hour long tease!”

Even the fabulous Margaret Cho weighed in for Suicide Girls in her survey responses:

“It’s just a sexy experience, having someone who is drawing on you. They are in your personal space. They are opening up your body and putting something in. That is hot!”

What about the tattoo artists themselves? How do they concentrate on creating art when faced with all that flesh all day?

I talked to the legendary Paul Booth about it. He admitted that he isn’t a priest (really?) and can’t stifle his libido, but before he gave me the good stuff, he prefaced it all with this caveat:

“Professionalism is key. I may be attracted to a client but I’m not the sleaze ball who makes her get undressed for something on her ankle. I’m just not gonna be that guy (although I hear stories all the time how I am that guy, but I know I’m not so I don’t care). The tattooer has to remember that you have a serious obligation. Not just the art, but the relationship, the trust factor... You have to think of the emotional aspect of this job. The client has a need to trust you. The tattooer can’t take advantage of that need.”

And consensual flirting and attraction?

“Every girlfriend I ever had, I tattooed,” Paul said. “It certainly beats meeting a woman in a bar. Here you really get to know them and then you can decide. You can really evaluate the situation whether the person is worth your time. There’s no better place than the tattoo chair to discover these things.”

What Paul’s talking about is the emotional relationship, but let’s not neglect pure, good ol’ arousal; hence, Question 8:

Have you ever become sexually aroused while getting tattooed?

• Definitely 10.4%
• Somewhat 18.2%
• Not at all 71.4%

Alright, I know most of y’all are just concentrating on not moving, never mind getting tingly. There were actually a number of responses that said the tattoo pain is more meditative than sexual, but for those who have gotten excited, the pain itself is part of the pleasure. [Festishists just love my surveys!] Essentially, they said it’s an endorphin rush to arousal.

Beyond the fetish aspect, there are different ways people process the pain that leads to them getting hot, as 54-year-old Soraya explains:

“For me, the pain is arousing too. It is strange. I don't enjoy the pain, but I enjoy withstanding and enduring the pain, and I think that also arouses me. All of that is very powerful for me, and for me is only a small step removed from sex. Yes, I get aroused -- not to the level of orgasm (although very close once!) -- but I get wet, and I am ready for sex when I am finished with the session. My husband and I have our best sex after I have finished a tattoo session.”

For men, that power over the pain factor, and general badassness, played out.

Don, a gay man from Toronto said, “The only time I've felt sexually aroused was when I was getting my knuckles tattooed. They were my first permanently visible ink, and I think the exhibitionist and retired bad boy in me got off on joining the ‘fucked for life’ club.”

A straight 41-year-old male Brit added, “I don't think it's the pain/pleasure thing. It could be that I'm surrounded by half-naked ladies getting tattooed. Who knows? But I think it does make me feel very masculine. I like to have a lot of sex after an inking session.”

Which brings us to the climax of this four-part Erotic Ink tattoo fuck fest:

Question 9: Have you ever been brought to orgasm while getting tattooed?

When I began to collect the data here, only 8 out of the 546 people who answered this question said “Yes.” Since this column began, 619 people have completed the survey and the number of people has gone up to 11, but that still keeps the proportion of people getting off during tattooing under 2%.

Yet, the tales of those people are really good. First, let’s start with another story from Paul Booth:

“I have a client that came in on a long, two-day tattoo weekend. She suffered through the first day and came in the second day wearing vibrating panties and a remote control. The whole time I tattooed her, she sat there with the remote control going up and down, up and down, and I was confused as whether she was in pain or whether she was coming. It was so strange because I’m tattooing this woman and it’s like we’re having sex. She has a ‘movie past’ and is pretty open about these things -- and I’m always up for bizarre new things -- so when she asked me if I minded I said, ‘Why would I mind? Sounds like fun.’ So I’m dealing with my own sadistic tendencies of hurting this girl and listening to her whimper (but that’s my own personal thing) and on top of that, she’s getting herself off the whole time, enjoying herself and using it as a tool to get through the pain. It was really a strange experience because it was like I was such a part of this girl getting off -- but all day long.”

Paul says that he’s considering selling vibrating panties with the Last Rites logo. I have dibs on the first batch once he does.

Granted, crazy shit is always happening at Last Rites, but it’s not limited to the NYC tattoo dungeon.

Soraya (yes, we loooove Soraya), shared her Midwest tattoo tryst:

“Well, not really a total orgasm, but once I had a mini ‘shudder’ that was pretty darn close. I think it was more the result of an orchestrated scene. I had arranged a late night tattoo session with my artist who was agreeable to a special request, and didn't tell my husband. I set up the evening for he and I to go out for an expensive early dinner dressed to the nines, and then go to a smokey jazz club. Then, he thought we were going home, but when we walked past the tattoo studio I just grabbed his hand and went into the door. When we got to the top of the stairs, we went in, and I greeted the artist and just said, 'OK, Let's go.' It had already been a very sexy evening with a lot of teasing talk, and I intended for the tattoo experience to cap it off. I guess the whole thing almost put me over the edge.”

I have to admit that working on the column put me over the edge many a time. While attempting to finish this damn article I took many a cold shower and many a walk around the block .

I’m almost there.

Just let me leave you with a little pillow talk a la the tenth and final question, which asked people to share their tattoo sex experiences beyond the survey. Here are just a few of my faves:

Alex Guest of the UK’s Skin Deep and Tattoo Master magazine summed up the attraction to tattoos perfectly:

“I think tattoos can be construed as something of a peacock display for some people. Mostly there is some back story to most tattoos and they are more meaningful, but those tattoos with significance, beauty, good placement and good execution are far more attractive than the perfect figure.”

Noting how tattoos play a role in the gay community, Don of Toronto says:

“There is a small subculture in the gay community that seems fascinated with heavy tattooing for some reason . . . hyper masculinity and 'butch drag' perhaps, (hardcoretattooedgaymen.com, for example), and an even smaller subculture into the idea of ‘forced’ heavy tattooing as part of a BDSM relationship. I think for myself it is more about general self-expression than sexual self-expression, though there is clearly a component of sexual self-expression in my desire to get tattooed.”

Ms. Zoe, also of England, talks about how she plans on using tattoos to lure men to her bed:

“I am a very highly sexed person so any form of sexual gratification excites me. My next tattoo is going to be a snake wrapping round my leg from my knee up to my anus, with the snake tongue licking my anus. I feel that this will be the ultimate high in terms of sexual gratification, i.e., being tattooed in the nether region. Also I will be able to talk about this tattoo in graphic detail, which I know will turn guys on and I’m sure my artist is just going to love doing it.”

From the tattoo artist perspective on the survey, 32-year-old Patrick of Wisconsin weighs in:

“I'm a tattoo artist with a considerable amount of tattoos. Often times I will meet women and get offers of dates, sex, and so on. My friends like to call it ‘inducing the response.’ The response being ‘Gee, fucking that guy would really piss of my father, who should have hugged me more.’ It doesn't help that I work and live in a college town, so there are all sorts of ‘female rebelling’ going on. So if getting a tattoo isn't rebellion enough, screwing the tattoo artist is even worse. [Just as a note, I don't take advantage of such offers much, and every girlfriends’ father I have ever met liked me.]”

As my own final note, I better stop working and get back to pleasing my tattooist. Hope you had fun reading Erotic Ink. My heartfelt thanks to all who took the time to answer the survey. I kiss you.

Now I’ll return to Needled.com for my regular tattoo blogging.

Guest columnist Margaret Cho writes….

I was reading Marisa DiMattia's musings on the eroticness of ink and it inspired me to put some ink of my own down...on paper rather than on my skin. In her September 3 column she stated that she got 561 responses to a survey she did on Tattoos & Sex; Consider me respondent # 562!

Question 1: Did sexual attractiveness play a role in your decision to get tattooed –– that is, did you get tattooed to be more attractive to (potential) sexual partners?

Answer: Definitely. I think tattooed girls are sexy as hell... just look at Marisa!! I want to be tattooed because I think it looks sexy. It is like lingerie that you never take off. It enhances the body and it gives the beholder a view into your rebellious heart. Tattoos are sexier than just plain old skin.

Question 2: If sexual attractiveness did not play a part in your initial tattoo decision, has it ever become a factor afterward? For example, did you later find that more people were attracted to you or that you felt more attractive being tattooed?

Answer: Definitely. I felt way sexier after getting tattooed, and because I felt sexier people responded to me more sexually. It is hot!

Question 3: How do you rate your attractiveness with tattoos?


Answer: More attractive with tattoos. I am way hotter as a heavily tattooed woman now than as a plain untattooed Jane.

Question 4: Do the tattoos of (potential) sexual partners play a role in whether you are attracted to them?

Answer: Often. I am very attracted to tattooed people. They are the most beautiful. I am always pawing heavily tattooed people, pulling off their clothes, wanting to see more ink, more flesh, wanting to hear the stories that are written on their skin.

Question 5: Does the quality of a sexual partner's tattoo work affect your attraction to that person?

Answer: Never. Hmm, I am not sure, maybe. Bad art would be a turn off. I have only seen good ones on the people I want to do it with! Or they are good just because I like them. I am not sure!

Question 6: Has the sexual attractiveness of a tattoo artist ever played a role in deciding whether to get work from that artist?


Answer: Definitely. I am always in love with my artist –– whoever happens to be tattooing me at the time. Whether it is Kat von D or my latest tattoo crush, Mike Davis, I am totally into my artist. You have to be in love with someone who is covered in your blood!


Question 7: If the sexual attractiveness of your tattoo artist was not a factor in your initial decision, have you ever become attracted to your artist during or after getting a tattoo from him or her?

Answer: Definitely. It’s just a sexy experience, having someone who is drawing on you. They are in your personal space. They are opening up your body and putting something in. That is hot!

Question 8: Have you ever become sexually aroused while getting tattooed?

Answer: Definitely. Well, I must say I have a bit of masochism in my nature, so I don't mind the pain at all. I wouldn't say it is as arousing as having a hot, amazing tattoo artist all up on you and breathing on you and everything, but it isn't so bad.


Question 9: Have you ever been brought to orgasm while getting tattooed?

Answer: No Comment. Not yet but I wouldn't rule it out
.

Question 10: If there's an aspect on sexuality and tattooing that you wish to further share your opinion or story, please do so here.

Answer: I just think that people who are tattooed are sexy, and the process is sexy, and art is sexy, and we are sexy!!!


Margaret Cho is currently on a nationwide tour, and will be recording her fifth live DVD (to be released in 2009) at her Long Beach performances at the Terrace Theatre on October 25. Click HERE for her full Beautiful Tour schedule. Margaret can also be seen on VH1’s Cho Show, which airs on Thursdays at 11 pm EDT.