by Blogbot

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Thistle in Taking Dictation]

This week, Thistle Suicide explores the finer points of Yuppie Scum, a group strictly for discerning individuals.

Members: 99 / Comments: 3,998

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: This group understands me and my love of fine wine, artisan cheese, and crisply tailored slacks.






• DISCUSSION TIP: Class warfare is strictly forbidden.


• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “No wood says ‘I’ve arrived’ like cedar does, man.”








• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: "Yuppie or not yuppie? You report, we decide."
 Billed as “the definitive thread for arguing over whether or not something fits with the general aesthetic” it aims to pass “yuppie or no” judgment on key topics such as Christmas decorations (depends if you put them up yourself or hire a service), poetry readings (readings = yes / slams = no), and living in a shipping container (no, unless it looks like this and this).





• WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone with a 401k, a favorite Starbucks drink, and ambition. MBAs and JDs especially welcome.

***
Related Posts:
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Eden on Tattoo
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Damsel on Dreadlocks


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Chrysis on Itty Bitty Titty Committee


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Otoki on Feminists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Zephyr on Doctor Who
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Ryker on Harry Potter
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Bradley on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Apple on All Your Base Are Belong To Us
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Setsuka on Ass Appreciation
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Exning on Body Mods
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Ceres on Girls Only
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Frolic on Celeb Worship
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Cheri on Skateboarders
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on SG Military
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Exning on Weight Loss
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Cute Overload
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Eevie, Luffy, and Praesepe on SG420
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - All on Urban Art
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Clio on Hardcore Music
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Epiic on Hirsute
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tarion on Atheists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Rambo on Photography
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Thistle on Vamos Gigantes

THE SUNDAY HANGOVER
002
WARREN ELLIS

Can you imagine being stabbed in the eyeball forty times? For fun? No, no, even better – for Art. And, of course, for The Future.

An acquaintance of mine has recently gotten his eyeballs tattooed.

Now, actual ocular decoration isn’t new. Contact lenses count, of course, and in Holland they’ve been doing decorative eye implants for three or four years, surgically placing jewels in the conjunctiva. Intraocular implants have been around for donkey’s years, of course, but it was only in the new years of the 21st Century that some Dutch surgeon muttered around a lungful of Red Leb, “I have thought of a way to bring more bling to this cataract surgery gig.” See, this is what we have to look forward to in the 21C. In previous years, people with too much time to think didn’t usually have access to high-end surgical tools, and when they revealed what they wanted to use them for, they were usually sterilized and locked up in a basement. But it’s only this year that someone could say to themselves, “I’ve got no fucking space left on my body now that I’ve had that map of the Isle of Man inked on the inside of my foreskin – it’s time to investigate how to get my eyeballs tattooed.” And then get it done.

Now, apparently corneal tattooing has been around for ages, covering up scars and leucomas and other disgusting shit. But it took Shannon Larratt, of the indispensable ModBlog and the BME online community of body-modification fanciers, to ask the question – what about scleral tattooing? Well, a specialist told him that tattooing your eyeball is basically dangerous and stupid. Shannon, being Shannon, decided that this was Condition Win and set out along with two friends to get stabbed in the eyemeat.

One of said cronies, of course, was Pauly Unstoppable, the boy who looks like his head has been attacked by three drunken carpenters and has occasionally been called “the man with the biggest nostrils in the world.” The funny thing about Pauly Unstoppable is that his facial modifications make him look somehow sorrowful all the time. He maintains he’s a happy guy, but every photo you see of him just makes you want to pat him on the head. Or give him some money.

Anyway. As documented on ModBlog in this month of July 2007, Shannon, Pauly and fellow gambler Josh had the whites of their eyes tattooed. Now, they’re not after fine detail. They’re after a blanket of alien colour: they want to stain the entire white of the eye. Forty needle strikes into Pauly’s eyes. Literally, some bloke poking a bit of metal into some other bloke’s eyeball forty times. Ah, but this wasn’t enough for Josh and Shannon. Josh and Shannon had their eyeballs injected with ink mixed with antibiotics. There is, on ModBlog, an oddly disturbing photo of run-off ink flowing back out of the syringe puncture. A man’s eye oozing blue pus.

That’s right. Blue. The Fremen look, from DUNE. Which is, as the original specialist told them, much more easily and safely accomplished with a custom contact lens.

So, is this just a staggeringly retarded thing to do? Well... possibly. I think the spirit of the thing is absolutely correct. Why have a bicycle and only ever ride it on the pavement? The body-modification community is doing important work in pushing the envelope of the human body. We’re only ever going to be issued one each, so we may as well find out what it can do. (Personally, I just like finding out how much whisky and wakey-wakey-stuff it can hold, but I never claimed to be hardcore.) So, yes, we laugh at people with permanently blue eyeballs, and Stelarc with the ear on his arm and Orlan and her surgically-grafted bone horns. But the point of these procedures is entirely serious – without these ever so slightly mental stab-o-nauts hellbent on wrecking their bodies in artistic ways, we’ll never define the edges of how the body can be made to look and operate. Already, bodymod homebrewers have given themselves a sixth sense by implanting into their hands devices sensitive to magnetic fields – feeling when they walk past hidden security devices, sensing electric motors. The stuff of science fiction, really, and perfect, even necessary, for these science fiction years we now find ourselves living in.

So, this Sunday, lift your hair of the dog to the mad scientists of the human meat business. And then think about being struck in the eyeball with a needle forty times for the sake of The Future.

Being the arbiter of tattoo newsiness isn’t easy. I mean, who the hell am I to decide if Christina Ricci’s new tattoo is less significant than the erosion of a marine’s right to expression via body art?

I don’t even tattoo. I’m just a lawyer with, what some would say, an unhealthy obsession with the art form. With two sleeves, a backpiece, my head tattooed, random patchwork and a full body suit planned out, you’d think that would be enough satisfy my body art bent, but I never do anything half-assed. It’s full ass for me. So I married a tattoo artist, spend my weekends at tattoo conventions, and during the week, in between writing arguments to the European Court of Justice, I interview artists, like SG’s own Tim Kern & Nathan Kostechko, post listings to the fine art shows of tattooers, review the myriad of books and films I have piled up in our home on body art, and of course, pontificate over the tattoo news.

Which raises the existential question: Why?

Nothing I do will cure cancer. My views on tattoo news will not save those in Iraq. Global warming will not instantaneously reverse itself because of my musings.

My motives are wholly selfish. I love looking at finely decorated bodies. Art on skin is not only visually exciting to me but stops me from falling into a daily rut. It wakes me from my To Do list and gives me at least a moment’s appreciation of beauty.

When I was 16-years-old, I followed my then 18-year-old boyfriend as he went to get tattooed. Tattooing was still illegal in NYC, and we had to press the button of a basement apartment in the East Village to get in. I initially found it all sexy and rebellious, that is, until I saw Andrea Elston finishing up a sketch of the half-sleeve my boyfriend was getting. She had the design propped up on an easel; it was an incredible rendition of a dream he once had. It was, in essence, a work of art, one that he would wear for the rest of his life. And that realization--one could be a walking work of art--has stayed with me.

You’d think that many people would get it, that tattooing itself is an art, but even with all the tattoo media out there, the idea remains obscured by the notion that every mark that you put on your body must mean something. Art for art’s sake has yet to fully translate to tattooing in mainstream consciousness.

Thus, Needled.com was created. The fabulous Josh Rubin and I were discussing tattooing as fine art over Chinese in May 2005 and Josh said, typically, “Let’s blog it.” Later, I wrote the first post as Josh worked on his laptop, bent over on all fours while my husband tattooed his back. It was a propitious start.

Josh and I created Needled out of a shared passion for tattoos, and following one’s passion must earn one some Karma points because it lead me to my favorite Lingua Diva Helen Jupiter, lead editor of SG, and this column. I’ve had a blast writing every Monday about the tattoo news and reading your comments. I thought I’d be educating the masses on tattoo culture and instead, I’ve learned more than imagined from y’all and become part of this kick-ass community.

Some of my favorite columns with your comments include:

Tattoos in the Workplace: Should you Cover up?

An Ode to the Tramp Stamp

The Tattooed Hipster Evangelist

Russian Prison Tattoos

The Original Suicide Girls: America’s First Tattooed Ladies

And, of course, my Tattoo Copyright Obsession

Now, I’m taking on a new opportunity: bringing tattoo videos to Needled.com as well artist photo galleries, forums and more community features. There’ll even be a marketplace to buy the artwork, t-shirts, and other products from tattooists. I’ll keep blogging but I’ll also be presenting a team of writers whose life’s work has centered on tattoo art.

The new Needled will launch on May 1st.

This project has become my baby, one that needs constant attention and effort to grow. Sadly, I have to focus all my time on it and must take a break from this column. I will still remain part of this community, write in my personal SG blog, and keep up with all you works of art. You make the Internet more beautiful.

Much love,
Marisa


Me and SG at the London Tattoo Convention

For today’s Needled News, I’m going to put on my lawyer hat. Just envision me in a kicky beret as I spout my personal opinion on a legal issue surrounding some tattoo news of the past week.

It’s about copyright. Those who read my Needled blog regularly are now letting out a universal groan and group eye rolling. It’s because I talk about it a lot. It’s my thang, as we say in the legal world.

For those not in the know, I first brought up the issue of copyright and tattoos in 2003 in an article for BMEzine. It made people really uncomfortable and made me really unpopular.

Lawyers in the tattoo world. Heaven forfend!

But when I wrote it, I was largely looking at how tattooists can assert their rights against companies and individuals who appropriate their designs for commercial use. A minor example of this is when an “author” used photos of tattoos from the portfolios of my husband and friends in an e-book without permission and in a derogatory way.

Another perfect example came up this past week. One of my favorite blogs, Counterfeit Chic, wrote about new tattooed tees that raise copyright concerns:

[These cotton tees cost $58 at Kitson. Chic, maybe. Cheap, no.]

CC editor, Professor Susan Scafidi, goes on to note that Beck’s and his tattoo artist may have legal claims here. She links an old Needled post of mine entitled David Beckham's Tattoo Copyright Controversy where I wrote about UK tattoo artist Louis Malloy—the man who designed and inked Beckham’s back tattoos—threatening to sue the soccer star and his Posh wife for not crediting nor compensating him in a promotional campaign highlighting their body art. As Susan rightly states, Malloy could have a claim against the tee designer if he hasn’t assigned his rights in the tattoo designs to Beckham. And Beckham himself may also have a claim in rights of publicity under California law, his new home. [For more on celebrities, marketing, and tattoos, see my Celebs Beware the Ink.]

This type of tattoo copyright case is one that many tattooists would get behind. The real controversy is whether tattooers should be suing each other over stolen custom design work. Now, I’ve had my custom tattoos copied. It sucks. It’s not flattery. My sleeves and backpiece are decorative and pretty, but they also mark my own history, family, travels and were designed and needled by someone I love, my husband. The designs took months to create in collaboration. For another “artist” to rip them off identically, making an easy buck, is disturbing to me.

A bunch of Suicide Girls, most notably Amina who registered her chestpiece with the US Copyright Office, have had their custom artwork stolen as well.



When asked about how he felt over the theft, Amina’s tattooer Tim Kern, aka ymonster, said in an email:

I’m specifically using this quote from Tim because often when I mention potentially suing tattooers who have ripped off my husband’s large custom works, someone will say “Paul Booth gets ripped off all the time and he doesn’t sue.” So I asked Paul directly, why not sue? He said that he just doesn’t have the time, although he did note that if he were married to a tattooed lawyer who’d take up the fight, he would consider it.

For now, however, I’ve decided not to take up the fight in court. I’ve had a number of opportunities to create a test case on tattoo copyright but it would have been impractical. Indeed, it would take up a good deal of time and money, and most importantly, there would be some kind of backlash in the tattoo community because many artists are quite divided and have strong opinions on the issue. Believe, I save the emails. One of them goes like this:

That one’s hanging up on my bulletin board.

It’s true. I don’t tattoo, and as the saying goes, those who cannot do, blog. So I do not seek vengeance for copyright violations in the courts. I seek it out on the Internet.

Over the past year and a half, I have posted a number of custom design theft stories on Needled. Here, today, I’m posting a link to a studio whose artist(s) may just be too lazy to tattoo even copied designs, so they've taken photos from other tattoo artists around the world to fill their online galleries. I guess my Greek brothers and sisters at Bar Code Tattoo in Athens didn’t think I’d learn of them taking the photo (in gallery 2) of a large African-inspired backpiece my husband did and putting it on their site as their own work. Let’s play a game and see if we can match the rest of the tattoo photos with other artists.

In tribute to Bar Code Tattoo, I have decided to name all those who violate tattoo copyright, what we call in Greek, malakas.


I’d love to hear your opinion on the issue in the comment forum below. I get A LOT of messages re: tattoo copyright, so please read my articles before you ask any questions; they tend to answer most you may have.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture. She is currently co-editing a book on new issues in copyright and p2p file sharing, which will be out next year.

I’m writing today’s column at New York’s JFK airport, taking advantage of the flight delay to gather together some tattoo goodness for your enjoyment. I’m sitting across from the overpriced but extensive bookstore staring at a Wall Street Journal ad in the display with a middle-aged man sporting half-sleeves and hawking business news. WSJ has obviously caught wind of my Inked Inc. brethren.

Yet, tattoos are not just for corporate raiders. They’ve invaded the chic lit set if JFK’s booksellers are to be believed. Neatly lining the slick backlit cases were The Grave Tattoo and Until I Find You, novels where tattoos still adorn bikers and sailors, not lawyers and investment fund managers. It makes for a better drama.

To paraphrase Jack London, show me a man with a tattoo and I’ll show you a man with a good story, and modern authors have taken heed. The results allow for more interesting down time than, say, tattoo TV. So, today, I’m offering a rundown of some good reads where needles and ink figure prominently in recent paperbacks.



Until I Find You

While John Irving’s 800-page tattoo tome met with mixed reviews, I’d still recommend picking it up to meet tattoo artists around the world—some fictional, some very real—although do pick up the paperback version. The hardcover made it difficult to pick the book up, never mind put it down. Voluminous hard covers especially do not make for easy bedtime reading; my body became tattooed with red indentation marks wherever I balanced the book.

I eventually did get through Until I Find You and, overall, glad I did. It is not a flawless novel. I agree with The NY Times that the story is devoid of conflict: Everything Jack [the central character] foresees about his future comes true, only better. Nevertheless, I enjoyed taking the trans-continental trip with Jack and his tattoo artist mother in search of his tattoo-addicted church-organist father, especially when the artists they meet in each port are often the real godfathers of the tattoo world, some still living today. Even a couple of today's younger tattoo rock stars appear in the novel, which was a bit disconcerting for me; I'm reading a work of fiction that relays stories of certain men I drink with and pausing to wonder, Would Tin Tin really do that?



The Electric Michelangelo

The Electric Michelangelo is my favorite of this list for it’s vivid imagery and strength of characters—completely befitting a tattoo tale. The central figure in the book is Cyril Parks, an English boy who begins his life in the early 1900s aiding his mother at her seaside hotel (and night-time abortion clinic), and grows into a man through a sadistic apprenticeship with a local tattoo artist, Eliot Riley.

Author Sarah Hall perfectly sets the scene of Cyril’s first look at tattooing and how it changed his life:

Riley mentors--and torments--Cyril pushing him to excel in custom work, personalized tattoo designs that were less common than the standard flash sheets of pre-designed motifs. Cyril does so and becomes the "Electric Michelangelo."

After suffering the deaths of his mother and mentor, Cyril crosses the ocean to the tattoo Mecca of the time, Brooklyn’s Coney Island. There, he mixes with an international cast of tattooers, sideshow performers, sailors and street punks. It is also there where the reader becomes most connected to Cyril as he reflects on the nature of the craft, his impact on the lives of others, and the meaning of his own existence.



The Tattoo Artist

Jil Ciment’s The Tattoo Artist centers around, you guessed it, a tattooist. No shockers here. Yet, the personal journey of one New York woman in the 70s looking back on her self-imposed exile for thirty years on the remote island of Ta'un'uu makes for an engaging read.

How Sara, our heroine, arrived on the island and the journey back home is relayed as a flashback telling the story of her life. She learned the art of tattoo from the island natives--the Michelangelos of the South Seas--who wear full tattooed body suits. She goes on to describe the tribal culture and even makes parallels with her own Jewish background. Eventually, Sara acquires a full tattoo body suit of her own and by her own hand. Her body is her greatest masterpiece as an artist, the author tells us.

Like Irving, Ciment's work met with mixed reviews. The NY Times joked "scan the horizon and clichés wash in on every tide." For me, it's worth the read. I'm a sucker for a heroine with a Moko.



The Grave Tattoo

The buzz among book reviews these days is the release of The Grave Tattoo in paperback. Set in England’s Lake District, author Val McDermid creates a fast paced thriller, which The NY Times Book Review called “as much a literary puzzle as it is a murder mystery” for the novel’s weaving plot twists. At the center of the plot is the discovery of a tattooed body, in a bog, of what could be an 18th century sailor based on the Pacific Island markings seamen received at the time. That kept my attention.

Tales of pirates and poets, bounty and booty (not the SG kind) move the story as the protagonist Jane Gresham tries to prove her theory that the body is that of Fletcher Christian, a mutineer on the H.M.S. Bounty, who made his way back to England, despite his exile, and confided his secrets of the South Seas to William Wordsworth. She believes the poet wrote down the stories and that these forgotten texts still exist locally; however, she’s not the only one who wants to get her hands on them.

Unlike the other stories, tattoos are more a catalyst than central theme of the novel but the idea that dead men still tell tales via tattoos is vastly compelling.


Have a favorite work of tattoo fiction? Let me know in the comments section below.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

I've been obsessed with celebrity tattoos lately. They're inescapable. I've seen clients walk into tattoo studios brandishing CD covers, wrestling magazines, and Perez Hilton print-outs. Online tattoo forums flame over whether it's cool to get Bam Magera's body art. And the news headlines, well, they taunt me.

All I want to do is sit back and reflect upon the national repercussions of the Scooter Libby trial, but then Robbie Williams busts outta rehab with a new tattoo and I'm forced to take stock of this momentous event.



By getting love tattooed across his knuckles on his right hand, what is Robbie telling us? Did he find God's love in detox? Or was he lonely and relegated to self-love? I'd also like to know what it is about rehab that drives people to the tattoo studio. Not once, but twice, we witnessed America's train wreck begging for the needle after stays in luxury treatment centers.

It's not like these celebs are going Straight Edge. The booze-filled post-tattoo partying does not indicate a non-tox trend, and I don't see tattoos like these catching on in Hollywood.

Instead, many actors and musicians--you know, creative types--search the depths of their platinum souls for body art that speaks for them, illustrating their very essence. Here's what they come up with: the backside bow, the mini wings, the forearm dice, and of course, the scratcher portrait of your TrimSpa suga-mama.

Ok, I'll accept that last one. Being Anna Nicole's bitch was limited in its lucrativeness. However, there's no excuse for multi-platinum artists, even if they are straight outta Compton.

The Game, aka Jayceon Tylor, refuses to pay for his tattoos--and it shows. ContactMusic.com quotes the rapper on his body decoration decisions:

I wouldn't call it sage tattoo advice but, then again, I aint gangsta. I suppose it's a g-thang: Money. Cash. Hoes. Sub-par body art.

In other headlines, Nylon magazine's March issue featured the fabulous Christina Ricci on the cover with the tag "Tattooed Rebel or Girl Next Door?", which I thought was funny as most of Ricci's patchwork tattoos were covered in the photo except some small blur on her ankle. Now Ricci's got a number of tattoos and a kick-ass style but I wouldn't trumpet her as the tattoo rebel darling. This crown clearly goes to Saint Angelina, and who among us here is not on Team Jolie?

Finally, in this needled celeb round-up, I'd like to welcome my fave comedian/activist/rapper Margaret Cho into the loving arms of freakdom. She's just added another beautiful Japanese inspired tattoo to her fabulous collection, which includes an Ed Hardy piece that winds around her belly-dancing waist. Her latest work of art is by Andrew Moore of Shogun Tattoo in Pasadena, CA.


Photo by Ian Harvie.

I'm hoping more celebrities show the same tattoo intelligence and not treat ink as swag. Free does not necessarily equal good. If more beautiful artwork adorned the bodies of tabloid staples, perhaps tattooing as fine art would become a trend, not a post-rehab adventure.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Yesterday, I was reviewing the tattoo news of the week when this message popped up on my screen from my buddy Dave of Big Kahuna Tattoo in Florida:

Following that message, our online conversation included references from Dave on how watching the show is akin to watching one’s mother in a porno, how clients now come in and tell him how to tattoo based on what they saw on TV, and even how people on the street now frequently ask him the meaning behind the tattoos of his full body suit. He preferred when they just crossed the street in fear.

Of course, Dave will admit that the show has increased business. With some of the mystery gone, the general apprehension of walking into the unknown dissipates and leaves people free to waltz in the studio for their own work of art.

While Dave and many other tattooers I’ve spoken with are clearly on the anti-tattoo TV side, I’m still trying to figure of how I feel about Miami Ink. I’m gonna try and flesh it out here today.

Before I do, let me just say that I am clearly decided on the other tattoo reality show, Inked, a big joke of a show where the focus is on the drama and “hijinks” of the cast than on any art. I was once asked by one of their producers if I knew tattoo artists who would want to be part of the show. I could not find one. Enough said.

On the contrary, Miami Ink does feature really good tattoo artists. Chris Garver’s tattoo portfolio is first rate, especially his Japanese work, and Kat Von D does a mean portrait tattoo when she’s not posing for ubiquitous pictorials. And now I hear that one of my fave tattoo pin-up artists, Joe Capobianco, will be doing a guest spot on the show from April 2 through the 7th. What this all means is that the general public gets to see a high standard of tattoo art and can make better choices when deciding on an artist.

The public does not see the full picture, however, and this type of reality programming is often far from the truth. First, in Miami Ink, clients don’t just walk in and make an appointment. They go through producers, they are booked based on things like a good back story to wanting the tattoo. But not every body tells a story. No one has to die for you to get tattooed. You do not need to be a victim of abuse to reclaim your body via art. Tattooing the name or face of your child on your body does not make you a better parent. Not that these are bad tattoos but they do not represent the full breadth and depth of the tattoo experience.

Many people get tattooed because it just looks pretty. Because they like it, and that should be enough. That’s reality. I guarantee you that most tattooists will not throw you out of the studio for not having some spiritual awakening that compels you to get needled. In fact, many are probably grateful that they don’t have to hear the story.

Which brings me to another tattoo truth: Most tattooers do not work in the resplendent glamour of being flown to the Super Bowl, Hawaii, and A-List parties. They do not regularly tattoo wrestlers, rock stars, and models. In fact, many people they tattoo do not bathe before the session. Tattooers generally work for hours hunched over with a buzzing machine in their hands leading to bad backs and carpal tunnel. They perform tasks like kicking out drunken frat boys and cleaning up vomit from clients with weak stomachs who can’t take the pain. They deal with cries, screams, and large burly men who pass out and pee themselves because they’re too manly to take a break. I’ve seen it. It ain’t pretty. But I think it would make for more interesting television.

What are your thoughts on tattoo reality TV? Leave your comments below.

--
For tattoo headlines of last week, read Needled’s take on guy who’s suing his tattooer for misspelling a stupid tattoo, a story on how one amputee transformed his stump into a dragon head that’s a work of art, and more.
--

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

The Antichrist’s tattoo. Bob Barker on skin. Police seeking records of body art. The tattoo news was so sexy this past week, it barely needs blogger banter for bolstering, so let’s get to it.

The Antichrist Gets 666 Tattoo in South Beach

It just seems perfectly logical considering the popularity of Miami Ink and, you know, the world all going to hell that the man claiming to be the Antichrist would get tattooed in South Beach along with his desperate followers.



Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda is a preacher who once claimed to be Jesus Christ, garnering a bit of media attention, as well as a BMW and Rolexes, for his assertion. Now, following the gospel of Saint Anna Nicole, he’s seeking even more fame based on no talent by testifying to be the Antichrist. To back up the blasphemy, he naturally tattooed 666 on his arm as well as SSS, which stands salvo siempre salvo, or "saved always saved," De Jesus’s motto.

Like a good cult, or perhaps media geniuses, 30 members of the Antichrist’s Growing in Grace church (which claims thousands of members in thirty countries) showed up at a South Beach tattoo studio with TV cameras in tow to get tattoo tributes to De Jesus. NBC15 news reported the following:

Watch creepy videos of them getting needled here and here (after ad).

NBC15 also had cult experts claim that Growing in Grace church is “clearly a personality-driven group.” But I’m thinking I could give De Jesus a run for his money. I too have been deemed the Antichrist, largely by the cult of my ex-boyfriends. I also have tattoos. Should you be ridiculous enough to do so, give to the Church of Needled.


NY Times’ Celebrity Tattoo Sideshow

Following on the cult of personality theme, there’s a slideshow of portrait tattoos of celebrities, which the NY Times put together for the Oscars. Most of the tattoos featured are excellent examples of tattoo realism, despite the subjects: portraits of Tony Danza, Conan O’Brian, and Will Ferrell are shown alongside greats like Nicholson, Cash, Vincent Price, and my favorite Bob Barker of the Price is Right. [I can’t believe someone beat me to that!] The downside of the slideshow is not listing the artists’ names with their work. They list a bunch of the artists off to the side but do not attribute each work to them. I don’t see why they are able to caption the celebrity featured but not the tattooer. This would be unheard of if it was another art form or profession.

Tattooer Spider Webb once remarked to me that whenever a tattooed celebrity is on a cover of a magazine, the credits will include the stylists, designers, make-up artists, hair people, etc. but rarely, if ever, the tattoo artists, despite their work being prominently featured.

Why not give the artists credit? I suppose the only times artists would not want their tattoo art to be attributed is when it’s something moronic like the uber-fanatic sports tattoos shown on another slideshow this week by Sports Illustrated (like the one below).




Police Seek Tattoo Records

One group that does like to credit the artists behind the tattoos is law enforcement. In Port Huron, MI, a city council proposal on regulating tattoo and piercing studios included a provision that would allow police access to studio records detailing every customer's name, age, address, which employee worked on them, and what type of work they did.

According to Michigan’s Times Herald, the provision is supposed to be used to track potential outbreaks of infections, help parents identify shops that tattooed their minors, and also find criminals, although the police chief said that this would be used sparingly:

Yeah. Like privacy. While not explicit in the Constitution, the privacy right has been established by the US Supreme Court as a basic human right and can be read in the 4th, 5th and 9th Amendments. The ACLU of Michigan agrees that the provision violates this right:

It also adds an unnecessary burden on tattoo studios. While the goals of tracking (rare) infectious outbreaks, rapists, and shady tattooers of minors are commendable, the means are far reaching and dangerous.

Yet, it gets complicated when the discussion turns to tattoos on people already incarcerated. What about the creation of prison tattoo databases? Like mugshots, tattoos are now being photographed at booking in Cincinnati, largely to track gang activity. One jail administrator says that their tattoo database should prove invaluable to fingering suspects:

Prison officials also use the tattoo database to keep certain gangs separated from each other in lock-up. If they don’t know what a certain tattoo means, they can log on to a secure nationwide network called the Regional Information Sharing Systems National Gang Database.

In the case of the gang tattoo database, I have less of a problem with the privacy right because we give up certain legal protections when we violate the law. Also, here, the responsibility of cataloguing the body art is on the police, not the artist. Still, there’s something that nags me about the government having all this personal information on file.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Today's column is brought to you through blurry eyes and a pounding hangover. I didn't want to drink that much but "when in Rome" (in this case Milan) I caved to the pressure of Sambuca and vino at the after-party of the 12th Annual Milan Tattoo Convention.

The tattoo artists looked happy. Everybody I spoke to worked all through the weekend, creating interesting tattoos and fattening their wallets -- although a bunch of convention goers did try to bargain down the price. I saw one couple holding two Vuitton overnight bags lobbying for a deal, which I doubt they did at the Louis store. And while I have faith in the longevity of luxury goods, I doubt they'll be around a lifetime and then some. My personal rule of thumb: A custom tattoo should cost more than a handbag.


Crowd at the 12th Annual Milan Tattoo Convention

Beyond bargain shoppers, most attendees seemed to understand that they had an opportunity to get tattooed by the best tattooers in the world, all in one place. I saw Boris of Hungary work a stunning realistic tattoo, while Shige of Japan collected yet another prize for his stellar Horimono. Holland's Yugen Tattoo tattooed non-stop creating beautiful black-and-grey Japanese works, and Chuey from Good Time Charlie's brought LA street style to Italy.

Filip Leu, tattoo messiah, spent less time at his booth and more time walking around and speaking with artists and collectors, spreading good will. His dark counterpart, Paul Booth, was busy back in NY so Liorcifer and Ethan Morgan worked their magik at the Last Rites booth.

I also had the pleasure of watching Suicide Girl's own Jo Harrison, aka Frankie, needle some gorgeous floral pieces. I devoured her whole tattoo portfolio and loved her Japanese and new school work, as well as her realistic portraits. Also representing SG were the beautiful Cherry, who was photographing the dos and don'ts of tattoo convention fashions, and I also bumped into the uber-cool Sheena of Switzerland waiting to get a signature piece by Italy's Amanda Toy.


Calypso Tattoo Booth

As for me, I was busy running around interviewing tattooers, taking bad pictures, and playing with my MacBook--the Booth Cam--of the convention. You can see photos from Day 2 of the convention here and booth cam pix here.


The real attraction was the body art, of course, but the exhibitions were a great complement. As I wrote on Needled, I enjoyed the spectacular performances by Vatea Tahiti: Dances of the South Pacific, and Les Sours Tribales, a tribal bellydance troupe. Beautiful (and sensual) cultural productions, a far cry from the strippers at conventions of old but just as sexy. Then I developed a new love for the ancient martial arts watching sweaty Italian men beat each other for the Ludus Magnum exhibit.


Booth Cam photo

For the fine art component, interesting collaborative charcoals came out of the Art Fusion Experiment, and then Crez of Adrenalink Ink did a live painting performance on the Japanese dragon.

And so with all the diverse art and performances, plus the special Italian wine made for the show, the convention was an ultra-sensory experience throughout the weekend...One that ended abruptly this morning, replaced by that numb, tongue fuzziness associated with the end of successful convention celebrations. Looking forward to next year.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

I’m a tattoo snob. I’ve tried hard to be accepting of all works on skin, but I’ve given up. Resistance is futile.

You know what I’m talking about. You’re at the gym flexing your tattooed sleeves, admiring how they shine, glisten even, with sweat; then he approaches. The guy with no neck and the tattoo armband that doesn’t even go entirely around the arm because the inside just hurts too much. He stops in front of you to eye your work, and then gives you the knowing nod. The nod! As if you have some great common bond. An unspoken communiqué to all tattooed bench pressers that we are one.

But there is no Borg collective of body art. I’ve spent half my life researching history, interviewing experts, studying portfolios, attending conventions, and sexing artists to become tattoo cognoscenti. I will not be assimilated!

Instead, I will learn to embrace my inner snob. I will pass judgment from my computer screen over what needled skin qualifies as fine art and what is a spring-break mistake. Most importantly, I will engage in the all-time passion of self-important critics: I will create Dos and Don’ts Lists.

This week in tattoo news provided plenty of fodder for my first list.

Tattoo Do
Jim Carrey loves tattoo fetishists. The actor said he’ll be getting more tattoos because it makes women hot, especially his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. While Jim already has a smallish tattoo, it was his heavy coverage of faux tattoos for the film Number 23 that got Jenni all aroused. He said, “It's amazing what a tattoo does for a girl. Girls love tattoos, man." For understanding the sexual appeal of body art, the Dumb & Dumber dude is a Do.


Screen cap of Carrey's faux tattoos from Number 23.


Tattoo Don’t
Fetishes can be taken too far, however. I’m a fan of head tattoos. Hell, I have one of my own. But needling your noggin for cheap press is a definite don’t. UK tattooer, Blane Dickinson, put out a call for a volunteer to get a free tattoo, but with a catch: he wanted to tattoo someone’s head with a full English breakfast. Nineteen-year old Dayne Gilbey stepped up to the plate. It took six hours to complete the bacon, eggs, sausages, beans and cutlery. He’ll have a lifetime to regret it.




Tattoo Do
Pink’s tattoo tribute to her dead dog is a Do. While I’ve criticized the singer in the past for body art blunders, I support her choice this time in marking the passing of a loved one on skin. For the bulldog, who drowned in her pool last month, she tattooed, “A time to weep. A time to mourn. Sleep in peace.” At least it’s better than the ubiquitous star on the wrists and ankles of It-girls.


Tattoo Don’t
Dogs, kids, moms. All Dos if you want to tattoo their names on your bod. But a lover’s name is just bad tattoo juju. In the news this week, the Chicago Courier News warns against sweatheart tattoos rightly proclaiming that most last longer than the relationship. Personally, I’ve seen too many requests for cover-ups of once eternal loves. One guy got his wife’s name for their ten-year anniversary. The same month she filed for divorce. Another tattooed his girlfriend’s name on his back as a birthday gift to her. Just two days later, he was back to cover it up as she freaked out and left him because of the gesture. The lesson here: Don’t fuck with the tattoo gods.


Tattoo Do
Tattoo agencies are wising up to using actual tattooers to design imagery appealing to us “edgy” folk. Scott Campbell explains why tattooers are a Do for the ad biz:

Tattoo Don’t
Outside professions seeking the expertise of tattoo artists is not all fun and profit. Unfortunately, too many are called upon to help the police identify the bodies of murder victims through the tattoos.


Tattoo Do
Tattoos on arty porn stars and boxers: Do, Do, Do!




Tattoo Don’t
Tattoos on fish: Just Don’t.




Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

The original Suicide Girls roamed the earth before the advent of alt porn, when "pin up" was merely a verb and "cheesecake" a simple tasty treat.

They were traveling, independent, tattooed badasses before the reality shows, the blogs and merchandise. With monikers like Artoria, Serpentina, La Belle Irene, these women would have member pages that wouldn’t read too differently from today’s SGs: affairs with tattoo artists, performing before crowds, world travels, and stripping for the cameras. Of course, they had a harder time wiggling outta bloomers than whipping off a thong.

The tattooed ladies before our time can inspire. And so with little in modern news to report, allow me to get a bit nostalgic and look back at some old school painted pin-ups.

The First Tattooed Ladies

I’ll start at the beginning with the first “tattooed lady” in the US, but like many a title, there’s a cat fight.

Is it Nora Hildebrandt, who in 1882 had 365 tattoos, or Irene Woodward, aka La Belle Irene, who exhibited her heavily tattooed body before European royalty as well as American sideshow fans?


Nora Hildebrandt

The Tattoo Archive, a great source of body art history, says that Nora is the one credited for being the first female attraction in the US in the 1860s, just as her father Martin Hildebrandt, a German immigrant, is deemed the first professional tattooist in the country.

Nora’s dubious claim to fame was that she was not only tattooed but forcibly so by none other than Sitting Bull, who she claims had her tied to a tree and made her father tattoo her after they were captured. Whether audiences believed her, they marvelled at her nonetheless for her artwork.

But sometimes being first doesn’t make you the winner. According to Margo Mifflin’s Bodies of Subversion, a Secret history of Women and Tattoo, Nora may have beat Irene to the stage by a few weeks, but La Belle Irene was the more popular and enjoyed a longer career as the self-proclaimed “original tattooed lady.” Mifflin writes:

Irene had been tattooed by some of the rock stars of that time including Samuel O’Reilly who patented the first electric tattoo machine, and his apprentice Charlie Wagner who later enhanced the machine.

Like modern-day Suicide Girls, both Irene and Nora caused a stir, not just for their body decorations but for showing it off in skimpy outfits. To stop sensitive viewers from getting their bloomers in a bunch, Irene’s autobiographical pamphlet said that “her tattooing is of itself a beautiful dress.” I’ll remember that line next time I want to wear a bikini to the office.

With all that skin showing, tattooed ladies became a huge attraction. Men got to see some tantalizing flesh without being labelled pervs, and the attractions themselves got to travel and make a very good living on their own. They continued to lure men and women to the sideshows for decades.

Betty Broadbent



One of the most famous and the youngest of these decorated divas was Betty Broadbent. Betty devoted 40 years of her life to being a tattoo attraction. She had a full bodysuit from Charlie Wagner and Joe Van Hart, and in the 1939 World’s Fair, she showed it off in the first TV beauty pageant. She knew she wouldn’t win but it was great free press.

Betty’s first gig was with Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus and later she travelled with every major American circus as well as shows in Australia and New Zealand.

Betty also became a tattoo artist, working many of San Francisco’s arcades. She retired in 1967 and died in her sleep—a legend—in 1983.


Mildred Hull
Before Betty tattooed, other women were needling skin behind the stage curtains. Many were wives of tattooers like Edith Burchett. Others were lone rebels taking on their male counterparts on both coasts. In New York, Mildred Hull commanded the Bowery in the 1920s. She epitomized cool. My favorite quote on Millie is also in Bodies of Subversion:

She was the ultimate tough chick. In 1947, she poisoned herself at a local tavern.


Cindy Ray



Australian Cindy Ray reigns supreme with the most photo-sets for a tattooed pin-up girl. Rocking bikinis or nude on bear-skin rugs, Cindy Ray (legal name: Bev Robinson) was deemed “The Classy Lassy with the Tattooed Chassis.” But touring as a tattoo attraction in the sixties was not all fun and adventure. In her book, The Story of a Tattooed Girl, she says that in some of the small country shows she did she “felt like an animal in the zoo.” But, she adds, her life in sideshow led her to learn tattooing and have a trade of her own. She still tattoos near Melbourne and was inducted into the Lyle Tuttle Tattoo Art Museum's Tattoo Hall of Fame in November 2005.

These five women are just a handful of the inspiring and sexy tattooed ladies that came before us. To learn more, pick up a copy of Bodies of Subversion and Electric Tattooing by Women.

I’d like to dedicate this post to the memory of Walter Moskowitz who passed away Saturday evening. Walter was one of the Bowery Boys, the legendary tattoo family, who had many a tattooed lady walk into their Lower East Side parlor in NYC. He will be greatly missed.

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Blogs all over the world were talking tattoos this week, which is a good thing considering my day job dared to take time away from my precious Needled.com.

So today, I'm givin y'all a round-up of the juiciest tattoo goodness found on blogs and zines over the last seven days.

Best Tattoo Culture Photo

Boing Boing posted an amazing photo that is part of photographer Bruce Osborn's portrait series on Japanese parents with their children.


I love the caption that goes with the portrait:

Beyond the tattoo image, the whole series is a unique and engaging look into Japanese culture over generations.


Best Mix of Fashion & Tattoo Art

Ami Kealoha of Cool Hunting is blogging from Sao Paulo's Fashion Week where, she says, tattoo art is ever-present. She points me in the direction of a fellow blogger who writes (in Portugese) on the body art of designers, stylists and other artists with some great photos like this one below on director Cristiano Winter.



You'll also find the artistic influences of old school Americana designs as well as graffiti in some of the Winter 2007 collections.


Best Tattooed Person Link

One of my favorite blogs on learning to tattoo links a Tattooed Psychic. While it is unclear how the fabulous Faye uses her body art to reach the dead, I figure that if I pay for a reading, the money would eventually wind up in the hands of a tattooer rather than a purveyor of crystal balls.



Faye also does ghost hunting, seances, past life regressions, and hosts a show on the subjects called Radio Spiritus.


Best Tattoo Myth Buster

Finally, a link that directly answers one of the most frequent questions I get as editor of Needled: Is it really true that I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetary with tattoos?

Well, now I simply point to Hillel's e-zine and their article last week called Jews & Tattoos: What's a Rabbi to do? The article address the burial question head on:

The article also links to an earlier post entitled Tattoos: Hip. Cool. Artsy. Permanent. Kosher?, which looks at the relationship between body art and Jewish tradition. [Keep in mind that different divisions may take more liberal or more conservative views than those stated in the article.]


Best Screen Caps of Modified Mayans

My buddy Sean at Mybodystory always manages to get the best screen caps of movies featuring body art, and his post on Apocalypto is no exception.



He also posts images of the tattoos on the character Alex in the film Children of Men, including the word crazy needled on his neck.


Best REAL Tattoo Photos

The wonderful and often not-work-safe Modblog continues to post the strange, the extreme and the beautiful of body art. This past Wednesday, he featured an old school chestpiece framed by two gorgeous Japanese sleeves created by Diau-An at Taiwan Tattoo in Kaoshiung. Most definitely worth the click.


Best Shameless Self-Promotion

And naturally, I gotta wrap up with links to Needled, which include a new tattoo magazine called Urban Ink for and about people of color, a new beauty pageant featuring tattooed women, and a book review on tattoo typography, from Ramones lyrics to Shakespeare.

There ya have it. More tattoo links than you can shake a Suicide Girl pasty at. Enjoy!

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Tattoo news last week was filled with wild, dare I say, wacky headlines, from the search for a full English breakfast head tattoo model to more celeb body art blunders to hypnosis during tattoo sessions, and more. Let’s begin with my favorite quote of the week:

Tattoos don't kill people. People with tattoos kill people.

No truer words have been spoken, at least in relation to Nick Cassavetes’ Alpha Dog. According to the bastion of fine journalism, Access Hollywood, the tattoos are an integral part of Justin Timberlake’s drug dealer character to make him look “rough and buff.” Here’s more:

Perhaps the young dealer had aspirations to be the next Brian Boitano, according to my fave Hanzi Vigilante Blogger, who says that the faux characters on Justin’s arm mean ice skating, and not I did Britney or some other form of bad-assness.



At least it’s not a misinterpreted Kanji for menstrual flow. That, and Justin’s tattoos were washed off after the director’s cut. If only that were the case for tattooed train wreck, Anna Nicole Smith.

This week, celeb blogs were all abuzz over Smith’s horrifying skin tribute to her children—portrait tattoos so bad, they are worthy of inclusion here.

I don’t get it. She reportedly sold photos of her dead son for $600,000, so you’d think she’d have the cash to pay a decent artist when putting one of those images on her back. Behold:



See more photos of her new tattoos here.

Now compare these tattoos with the portrait portfolios of, say, Robert Hernandez, Boris Zalaszam, Joshua Carlton, Chuey, among so many others worldwide that specialize in realistic portraiture.

Money can’t buy taste.

I’m a tattoo snob, I know. Perhaps I should just embrace all tattoos and not judge people by their choice of body art—to equally respect those that commit themselves to a Filip Leu bodysuit as those who get Sponge Bob on their bottoms. Yet, even on Martin Luther King Day, I find it difficult not to discriminate on the basis of how people choose to color their skin.

I need tattoo diversity training. Evidently, I need Scary Guy.

Scary Guy, born Earl Kaufmann, travels to schools, churches, and community organizations talking about prejudice based on appearance, economics or race. His own heavily tattooed appearance intimidates young audiences until he offers feel-good talks about love, acceptance, and avoiding sarcasm, especially in blogging.



I, too, find Earl scary but my fear is routed in his spreading the message that poor facial work should be accepted. I’m probably better off sitting in on one of Bruce Pott’s lectures. Waaay less frightening.

My problem is I’m hooked on this tattoo-as-art thang. A battle to gain fine art acceptance of tattooing. A battle I lose every time the press writes about stories like this one:

Tattooist Searching for Head to Tattoo English Breakfast Motif

This story appeared in three countries in countless newspapers. I should declare defeat.

A UK tattoo artist—and master at self-promotion—has some sort of bacon and eggs fetish. He contacts the press saying he’s searching for a model for his obsession to take around to UK tattoo conventions. He also envisions a knife and fork behind the ears and is willing to accommodate vegetarians with meat-free options. Remarkably, there have been no volunteers so far.

One factor that saves people from themselves in making decisions like tattooing eggs on their heads is the pain of getting needled. According to this next headline, that safeguard may just disappear:

Hypnosis Can Relieve the Pain of Tattooing

Randy Scott, a hypnotherapist, was watching Miami Ink one night when he saw the tattoo clients in pain on the show. He figured that he could fix that problem. So he walked into his local tattoo parlor, Proton Studios, and dropped off his card.

When I read the article, I was skeptical…until I got an email from tattooer Matthew Amey who also sent me the link to the story and told me that he has been working with a hypnotherapist at his studio—also with pain-free results.

Ok, now I’m intrigued. More than wild and wacky, this is some serious news that could change the culture of tattooing. Naturally, I forced Matthew to respond to more questions on hypnosis for publication…his answers are mind blowing.

Wanna read more about it? Watch out for our upcoming Q&A for SuicideGirls Interviews.

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

As the January 1st feature of the day, I have the opportunity to fill this space with a look back on the top tattoo stories of 2006. This means I can regurgitate text and links as I nurse a hangover in the Caribbean.

Tattoos made major headlines this year, making us laugh, cry and vomit. For this look back, I’ve chosen some stories with the greatest punch and threw in a couple of faves for flavor. Enjoy!


Oklahoma Lifts Tattoo Ban

The last US state banning tattoos changed its tune and new regulations came sweeping down the plains. While the law has a few flaws, at least it protects tattoo artists from being raided and jailed as they were at the start of the year.

The past year also marked the first legal tattoo ever needled in South Carolina.


New Survey: Over A Quarter of Americans Are Tattooed

The media slurped up a new survey by the American Academy of Dermatology revealing that one in four Americans are tattooed, and that total rises to nearly one in three for those between 18-to-29 years of age. Mainstream status is solidified. Tattooed lawyers are inexplicably “messengers of cool”. Children’s books are crafted for decorated moms. And the good ole tramp stamp needs defending.


Tattoos in the Workplace

With the rising popularity of body art, comes the rising debate of whether tattoos and piercings should be forbidden at work. Even though tattooed professionals make headlines, dress codes telling workers to cover up are consistently upheld. The issue even gets debated in the NY Times Ethicist column.

At least, Cisco Burger is hiring.


Disappearing Tattoo Inks

For those looking for tattoo cool but only until graduation, new inks were developed this year that fade or get zapped away with a single laser shot. Commitment-phobes rejoice. Parents of teenagers breathe collective sigh of relief.


Frozen Tattooed Mummy Found

Proving that tattoos were once meant to last a lifetime and even 2,500 years afterward, the mummified corpse of a Scythian warrior was found in Mongolia with inked skin intact. The term "old school" is quickly redefined.


Such record breaking tattoo news begs the question: Will this new year be able to top it?

It just might if the eBay forehead tattoo play is any prediction.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Ho, ho, ho! I'm feelin the holiday lovin' from my family today as I keep my new demon child tattooed on the back of my head under wraps to avoid Christmas coronaries and ensure my favorite gifts are not sent back to the dollar store.


Tattoo by Lenny Renken on Dave Tedder

I'm pleased to report that the past week's tattoo news is more jolly than my previous posts of flesh-eating bacteria and lip sewing "tattooers". In fact, the news was light and fruit cakey.

The fruitiest story of them all involved Britney Spears, naturally. After finally regaining my sight, which was brutally taken away from me via non-stop flashes of pantyless c-section scar/crotch shots, I was treated to a TMZ video of Brit Brit walking into Devil Doll Tattoo in LA with her 15-year-old sister and walking out with her very own "personal work of art" – a star tattooed on her hand. I swear she's doing all this to torment me. In my efforts to educate the masses on the artistry of tattoo, the most famous female in the world goes all country every time she gets needled.
.


Let's recap Britney's numerous tattoo snafus: a butterfly and vine on her right foot, a pair of poorly inked pink dice on her left wrist, an even worse fairy on her lower back and a Japanese symbol on her bikini line. Money cannot buy taste.

Ok, I'm sounding like the tattoo Grinch but what better gift could I possibly give y'all than to feel morally and artfully superior to a so-called A-lister.

[There are also rumors that Brad Pitt just got needled with a Sanskrit blessing tattoo to protect his family but no photo or video evidence has been found. I'm guessing Sanskrit will be the new nonsense Kanji. You heard it here first.]

Beyond vapid celeb tattoo news, there is some light ahead for the upcoming new year -- from the realm of darkness no less. Paul Booth will be releasing a brilliant documentary on the Art Fusion Experiment in 2007, for which I saw a preview and will review for an upcoming Needled News. If you don't get off on mocking Britney and are feeling the holiday blues, a look at this six-minute preview for the film will inspire you. And that kind of inspiration is probably the best gift I could give.



Best wishes to you -- whether and whatever you celebrate.

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

There’s an old cliché, Good tattoos ain’t cheap, and cheap tattoos ain’t good. You’d think that an expression so popular would reach the collective ink-lovin consciousness leaving no room for sites like Badtattoos.com. But, alas, many still pay more for trendy shoes than lifetime tattoos, and so the other cliché—you get what you pay for—rings truest for body art.

Cheap tattoos are an easy lure for those under 18 and even university students with little cash flow. Tattooers who can’t compete artistically with others tend to market themselves to this demographic for a quick buck. These Skin Shadies go beyond the unethical and into the dangerous, and they make tattoo headlines.

The shadiest of them all this past week is the owner of an Oklahoma tattoo shop who allegedly tattooed a 16-year-old on the neck—a Kanji no less—then pierced her tongue and, as an added bonus, sewed her lips shut and took a picture. Once her lips were set free, the girl told her mother, who then filed charges. Tattooing and piercing a minor without parental consent is a misdemeanor that carries a penalty of up to 60 days in jail and $150 fine on each count if convicted. With Oklahoma overturning its tattoo ban and legalizing the art just this past November, news like this really aids the tattoo community in establishing legitimacy in the state [gratuitous blogger irony].

In Arkansas, another guy with a tattoo machine faces misdemeanor charges for tattooing over a hundred students and leaving some sick with more than just bad art. The 19-year-old Arkansas State University student used his dorm room as a make-shift tattoo parlor. No sterilization or disinfectants were found, which would explain why some of his “clients” needed medical attention. You'd think the risk of bacterial infections and even Hep C would be enough to scare students into saving up for a professional tattoo; however, this goes to show that even in the bastions of higher education, there are still plenty of idiots.

And it ain't limited to American idiots.

Two weeks ago I wrote about a New Zealand traditional tattooer who transmitted a deadly flesh eating virus to two clients, one who fought for his life for two months, and infected two others with less dangerous bacteria. He was suspended from tattooing while an investigation took place. Now the family of the man who almost died is shocked to learn that the department of labor will likely lift that suspension. The Dominion Post reports:

Ok, it's a rare and drastic case but I'm using it to demonstrate that despite the popularity and increasing artistry of tattooing, it still has it's risks.

I've said it before and I'll say it again—I'm preachy like that—do your homework, find the best person for the work you want, and save your cash for a great artist. There's no rush. The cost of the tattoo may be high but a real work of art on your body forever is priceless.

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Canadians Can Prison Tattoo Plan. The conservative Canadian government's move to ax the trial prison tattoo program dominated the tattoo headlines the week. The program was revolutionary in that it sought to curb the spread of Hepatitis and potentially AIDS among inmates by creating tattoo parlors within prison walls that follow strict hygiene rules as opposed to the status quo of shared needles or other sharp implements being passed around, bloody and infected.

Conservative editorials cheered the move, calling it smart cost cutting over the Liberals' bleeding heart spending. Some went as far as saying who cares if prisoners contract AIDS or Hep C. I just love that conservative compassion at work.

This view is shortsighted, both from a health perspective and budgetary. According to the CP, prisoners are 10 times more likely to contract AIDS and 30 times more likely to contract Hep C. While the conservatives shrug it off as a prison problem they forget one very large factor: most of the prisoners will be released. As in, released on the streets, mingling with the daughters of those right wingers who want to rebel against daddy and get naughty with a roughneck, if only for a night of street cred. And a lifetime of disease.

The Tories banished the program twisting the words of human rights groups around claiming that prisoners do not have a right to a tattoo. That's not the issue. The issue is keeping jails from being incubators of deadly viruses. The more people who contract these viruses in prison, the more people there are spreading them among law abiders upon release. How difficult is that to understand?

The other argument is cost. The program cost around $600,000 in the trial year where it was implemented in six Canadian federal prisons. The costs included sterilization equipment, single-use tattoo materials, as well as regular health screenings for inmates, and some tattoo training—largely related to safety and education on infectious diseases. Taxpayer money to teach tattooing! Heaven forefend! Again, a shortsighted, alarmist approach.

The reality is that that it is more financially burdensome on taxpayers and the public health system to treat Hep C and AIDS patients than to spend this kind of money of prevention. Leon Mar of the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network offered stats to the Canadian Press: "The annual cost of treating someone with HIV is $20,000 while caring for a Hepatitis C patient costs $25,000." Multiply this by those infected and you have a cost much greater than that spent by those tax-and-spend liberals. It's simple math.

Of course, the conservative argument is that no one is forcing prisoners to tattoo each other and spread disease. But tattoos and prison are as old as Republican scandal, and just as natural and ever-present. Prisoners mark their bodies to denote affiliation, often as a way to protect themselves. They jerk off to the pin-ups staring up at them from their skin. They write their tragedies permanently on the outside to release the demons within. Tattooing cannot be stopped. It's too powerful. But the spread of disease can be. Unfortunately bad politics often get in the way of reason.


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Flesh-eating diseases. Gang members trapped by tattoos. Japanese CEO forces horimono on workers.

The week’s tattoo headlines were fodder for the horror genre. For some, a welcome relief from the sappy stories of granny getting her first tramp stamp. For others, a pox on all that is tattoo couture in our body art revolution. For me, I like a bit of shady with my highbrowness. It’s sexy and dangerous. And flashing gooey tissue via flesh-eating bacteria could be the new naughty for vag exposing pop stars. You heard it here first.

Today I offer a rundown of the international tattoo news, written in drama queen Fox News/White House Press Secretary style. Ring the alarm.

Three Men Get Flesh-Eating Disease After Samoan Tattoo
The curse of the Samoan pe’a.



For hundreds of years, people have lain immobile with their skin stretched while the hand-tapped Samoan pe’a marked their cultural, even spiritual, rite of passage. Like machine tattooing, risk of infection exists if the tattooer does not employ proper hygiene or the person tattooed does not follow after-care instructions. It’s supposed to be a celebratory event. But for one 24-year-old New Zealand man, the tattoo almost turned deadly. [Strategic pause.] After having his stomach, buttocks and back tattooed via the traditional technique using a boar's tooth comb, the man contracted necrotising fasciitis—the flesh-eating disease, which chewed away a quarter of his body tissue. He’s been in intensive care and undergoing numerous skin grafts. It ain’t pretty. The Dominion Post reports:

He wasn’t the only one. Two other men were also admitted to the hospital with the disease, although less advanced, and a fourth man was diagnosed with cellulitis, an acute skin inflammation linked to an infected wound. All the men reportedly had traditional Samoan tattoos in the past six months, two from tattooist Sua Vitale Fa'alavelave who has agreed to stop working while an investigation is underway.

Defending his hygiene practices, a spokesperson for the tattooist said that Sua has done hundreds of tattoos, and the boar's tooth comb used was always washed in a sterilizing liquid. This prompted questions over whether the guidelines for traditional tattoos are adequate; however, New Zealand’s Ministry of Health defended the rules saying that it has been consulting with Pacific communities and traditional practitioners to "bring these guidelines to their attention" since 2002, when a man died of blood poisoning directly linked to his pe’a.

One News has a short video of Samoan tattooing where one wearer of the pe’a explains, "It's a big thing for our culture and it's always been there....people have passed away through it because of infections...That's a responsibility that people know." [Insert fair and balanced culture-mocking quip here.]

Gang Members Trapped By Tattoos
In the US, another rite of passage leads to death.



Texas’s Channel 10 offers up a two-part report on gang tattoos. The report claims “tattoos make breaking away from the gang lifestyle almost impossible. They reveal who you've fought, where you've served time and the crimes you've committed.” In an online video segment, one ex-gangbanger gives his tale about moving away from his old hood but trouble still finding him because of his tattoos, especially the gang marks on his hands.

The tattoos tell stories of their own. Channel 10 had Gang Officer Gus Vaquera explain their symbolism:

A video on the symbolism accompanies the article. For more on gang tattoo symbols, check out this Wiki entry or the book Gangs and Their Tattoos.

The report does include info on state programs where ex-gang members can get free tattoo removal.

Not reported in the article is my own personal group of roughnecks: Inked Inc. Check out how we roll in our stronghold of conventionality.

The corporate thang can be just as hard as street thuggin. Just see the next headline.

Japanese CEO Forces Horimono on Workers
The mark of the Yakuza branded on health food company workers.

Horimono, traditional Japanese tattoos, may have it’s origins in the late Edo period but today in Japan they largely bare the mark of the criminal underworld. Perhaps this is why one former health food company president from Osaka forced his employees to get tattoos when they threatened to leave the company. No real reason is know as the ex-boss has denied the allegations. Other reasons could be kinky. [Insert fair and balanced culture-mocking quip here.]

Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.

Today is Cyber Monday—a day where the shopping frenzy of Black Friday continues online without all the elbow-in-the-gut punches over the new Tickle Me Elmo. It's a day where my Inbox becomes flooded with messages of seduction like 50% Off, Free Shipping, and Young, Olive Skinned Pool Boy with Every Order.

"C'mon. You know you want it." So much teasing on my screen, it's like an SG photoset except Macbooks, Wii, and flat screens replace tattooed nymphs, and I find myself fingering my wallet, running my nails across the raised numbers on my credit card...Is it getting hot in here?

With little going on in tattoo news, I've decided to share my consumption compulsion (or compulsive consumption) today by creating my very own Gift Guide for the Underground:

Tattooed Vibrators


For those who prefer to limit the sound of buzzing to the tattooer's chair, there's the sleek and silent Little Gold Vibrator from Jimmy Jane. These vibrators can also be tattooed with text of up to 35 letters, numbers or punctuation symbols—the only time I'd ever advocate permanently etching a lover's name. The limited editions already come with late 18th century tattoo art on the base of the vibrator. The cost: $195-350.


Modify The Movie


Finally, a film that looks at tattoos, piercing and extreme body modification without Eww, look at the freaks as the overriding theme. Images of a self-done genital surgery, suspensions, and fine art tattooing are woven amongst discussions on motivation, addiction and societal acceptance of body modification. As I said in my review for Needled.com, this film is a must for the DVD collections of serious tattoo and bod mod enthusiasts. Still, I wouldn't recommend it as a proper substitute for Miracle on 34th Street. Modify can be ordered online for about $25 including shipping and handling.


Zak Smith Prints


Arty porn lovers will drool over painter Zak Smith's 25 by 35 inch prints based on his paintings of Suicide Girls Charlie and Sawa. The posters can be purchased for $10 via the SG Shop and all artist royalties will go towards Food Not Bombs charity. As an added treat, you can also see Zak's hot tattooed bod naked in recently released adult films where he goes by the name Zak Sabbath. I'd also place those films on my list for fave stocking shtuppers.


Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum


At Needled's anniversary party, the punch I made spiked with Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum was the first drink to go, which either means it's pretty tasty stuff or my guests were all alcoholics. Perfect for egg nog or straight from the bottle to forget the holiday blues, the rum can be ordered online for those in the UK. In the US, check for store locations. For ways to spice up your office parties, check out Sailor Jerry's bar tricks.


The Grave Tattoo


Recently, there's been a lot of buzz on book lists over The Grave Tattoo by Val McDermid. This psychological thriller involves a strangely tattooed body that washes up on shore in England's Lake District; the body could offer clues into an 18th century mystery and the mutiny on the Bounty. The book is currently available in the UK, and can be pre-ordered for the February release in the US. If you're looking for ideas on other tattoo-related texts, read Needled's book review section.


Toy Tattoo Machine


And for budding Paul Booth's on your list, there's the Tattoo Pen for Kids. This vibrating pen (even fun for mommies on your list) comes with three color pens and nine stencils, although none include Satan-spawn imagery. I'm sure there's also a joke about Kevin Federline in here but I'll refrain.Your best bet is to throw out the stencils and teach the kids to freehand. Nothin' like custom work on a ten-year old. [Trailer camo hat not included.]


Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.