The major summer movies have come and gone, so it’s a good time to evaluate how this summer stacks up in terms of the winners and losers. Every year the industry predicts doom, and then the summer box-office breaks last year’s record. This year will be no different. Here’s a quick checklist of what we’ve learned from the summer movie season 2007 – the surprises, the biggest, the best, the worst, and more… according to me anyway.


Biggest Box-office Winner
Spider-Man 3
Ranking currently at number 15 on the all-time U.S. box-office list with $336 million dollars in ticket sales, the only thing people are wondering about is if there’s a fourth in the works… and who might star in it.

Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.


Biggest Disappointment
Evan Almighty
Okay, no one was looking forward to a sequel to Bruce Almighty wrapped up neatly in a modern telling of Noah’s Ark story… but Steve Carell is hot! Well, er, he was.

Surprise Hit
Knocked Up
Vulgar and sweetness should be trademark of Judd Apatow and his gang of merry men. Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl are now the proud parents of a sub-genre of romantic comedy that delivers gross-out laughs with a heart.

Surprisingly Good
Transformers
The word was that director Michael Bay was just going to disappoint the hardcore fans who watched the original cartoon and played with Transformers toys as kids. That disappeared after the first screening when Bay delivered probably his best film yet. So, will we see Micronauts next?


Surprise Failure
Sicko
Michael Moore’s 2004 documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 made $119 million at the U.S. box-office and quickly became the highest-grossing doc in film history. Sicko has yielded a respectable $23 million in ticket sales so far, but has yet to really engage the public in a debate about health care. Too bad as the film is perhaps his best yet.

Best Sequel
The Bourne Ultimatum
All Matt Damon has to do is talk fast into a cell phone and run, run, run away as the camera shakes in an attempt to keep up… and it’s ends up being a thrill ride that is intense as hell. Do that again for us, will you?

Worst Sequel
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
So, the story of the coming of Galactus ends in a cloud. Really? A cloud. That’s all you got? Did they not read the comic book? Lose the slapstick and reboot this series with an indie filmmaker who can get to the deeper layers of Marvel’s super-family.


Bright New Star
Seth Rogan
Who knew that “schlumpy” was the new “sexy”? Thank you Seth Rogan.

Falling Star
Bruce Willis
Live Free or Die Hard is clearly the second best in the Die Hard series, but failed to live up to expectations. Something not to miss when it comes to DVD.

Why did they even make this film? (Or, I can’t believe this movie was so bad!)
It's a 12-way tie!
Daddy Day Camp and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and I Know Who Killed Me and Hot Rod and License to Wed and Becoming Jane and Nancy Drew and Who’s Your Caddy? and No Reservations and Underdog and Rush Hour 3 and Bratz
There clearly was not a shortage of bad movies this summer… and in six months, landfills across America will be filled with DVDs bearing their names. In fact, I’d be surprised if you even remembered that half these films were released over the summer.


Tracy Turnblad wishes every day were Negro day... one day her wish may come true.

Summer 2007’s Best Film
Hairspray
This is the only summer movie that not only lives up to, but surpasses the hype. Hairspray delivers a much-needed wake up call with messages about not only about racism, but people with different body types. Nicole Blonsky as the new Tracy Turnblad is just plain hot.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore spent his summer indoors watching movies and remains proud of his "indoor kid" heritage.

People are always saying "I don't read books." Too often, the problem is reading too many of the wrong books, thus turning a potentially great experience into something they'd rather avoid. This is where _DictionaryGirl_ and PointBlank come in and let you borrow something awesome. Let's go to town and make some recommendations, shall we?

Yes, Memorial Day weekend has once again come and gone, and the time is now officially upon us for the beach and snappy white sneakers and summer reading. The best time of the year ever, if you ask me. Last week, Professor PointBlank assigned you all his summer reading list; this week, I shall hand out mine.

Now it's more or less summer and all where it counts, but even in Southern California (where everyone likes to pretend it's summer year-round) we're not quite out of the metaphorical woods of overcast coastal gloom. Still, it's nice to pretend until the climate catches up, and one of the best ways is with a book taking place as far away from Thomas Hardy's dismal gray puddles and shires as possible. One of my personal favorites for this purpose is Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary. (I'm kind of a big fan of his; not sure if you could tell.) The protagonist here is familiar: Jack Kemp is a skulking alcoholic journalist for a paper on the brink of disaster, into his early thirties and a wrinkled suit, putting up with strange people in some stranger-still warm weather place for the sake of adventure. The book itself, however, is Thompson's first, the better part of a decade before he really grew into his character. This one is fiction, you see, taking place in the far-off heat and political turmoil of 1950s Puerto Rico. Still, somehow—perhaps because he was younger when he wrote it—the characters are real, much less caricature at this point. Even then, however, it's unmistakably Thompson from start to finish, and that's never, ever a bad thing.

One other thing unique to a Thompson novel here is that the fiction angle allows him to really work up a story arc, less stream-of-consciousness and more build-up; it's a side of Thompson rarely seen, and for a first novel it's remarkably well done. The book was rejected everywhere on his first attempt at publication (written in 1959, it didn't see printing for forty years), and it boggles my mind to this day. It's got knock-out fights and political tension, a comical dead-end job with idiot coworkers, gorgeously run-down tropical landscapes, an endless supply of iced rum and cheeseburgers, and (for the ladies) some romance in the form of a desperately sad love triangle and a smash-it-up holiday weekend yacht party that has little hope of ending well. It's also fairly short and a quick read, so you'll have time for some rum and cheeseburgers yourself.

Speaking of something being fairly short, I'm also a pretty big fan of short stories over the summer. This is mostly because I like to bring books to the beach, and the last time I got caught up in a regular novel, I forgot to move for a good couple hours and ended up with a back not altogether unlike a boiled lobster. You don't necessarily want something heavy, however—I leafed through a Raymond Carver collection the other day and almost got depressed on contact—so, in my opinion, you can either go the irreverent pop-culture route or the fun campy retro route.

If you take the first route, you'll probably want to take Chuck Klosterman IV along with you. It's his latest, and it combines a pretty great cross-section of what the man can do. The first section, "Things That Are True," should appeal to you celebrity worship types, with uncut versions of profiles and trend stories he's done for magazines like Esquire, Spin, and The New York Times. From Britney Spears to Billy Joel, no one is safe from his criticizing bespectacled hipster eye. The second section, called "Things That Might Be True," poses rhetorical questions and answers them by editorializing the low-culture staples of Klosterman's daily diet. Here, alone with his own thoughts, he's at times subject to wild tangents that on occasion never make it home, but when he's on, he's really on, dryly hilarious as he explores everything from pirates and robots and 24-hour VH1 to X-Men in real life and a list of the top ten most-accurately-rated artists in rock history:

The third section of the book is called "Something That Isn't True At All," and it's a work of fiction (which seems to be going around with journalists lately in this article). I'll admit: I haven't read that section yet. But it's on my list for the summer, that's for sure. The only real problem with Chuck IV is that it's still only out in hardcover, which can be kind of a bummer for lugging to the beach and such; if you still want to check out Klosterman but don't want the added weight, get Sex, Drugs, and Cocoapuffs: A Low-Culture Manifesto. It's pretty much an entire book full of "Things That Might Be True," put together in mix-tape form, and I have a hard time deciding which book I like better.

Now, if you want to bypass the irreverent pop-culture and go straight to Route Two, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to go all traditional 9th grade reading list on you and assign the interconnected short stories of Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, a classic allegory about the sadness of colonization and war in the context of super awesome and adventurous space travel. Of course, by "afraid" I mean "totally thrilled," because it's one of the best books I was ever assigned, and, if certain college courses were any indication, people are probably going to yell at me now that Ray Bradbury isn't real science fiction because there are no dragons and sexy cyborgs or something, but then I would just have to argue that if Bradbury's doing it wrong, then I don't want to be right. It's a fun book to read again now that we're a good deal past the grand future of 1999 and beyond, just because it's interesting to see what he got wrong and what he got right. Bradbury also intersects futuristic science with homey summer scenes complete with hot dog stands and lemonade, enough to almost forgive even the themes of impending apocalypse (a possible downer and source of heaviness in the midst of summer fun).

Wait, almost forgive? What am I talking about? The language alone forgives all. If somehow you weren't assigned this book for school ages ago, this needs to be first on your list. Get on it.

From science fiction, it's really only a short jump to comic books, one of the best summer mediums ever. They read through like lightning, the pictures give your imagination some rest, and they are almost always tons of fun. The most immediate one I have to get behind right now is Jaime Hernandez's Maggie the Mechanic, the first of three Locas-centric Love and Rockets compilations due out over the present to near future. It starts at the very, very beginning of the series, which is lucky for you, because at what better point to jump in than at the beginning? Especially with a storyline like Love and Rockets, which gets complicated pretty fast. The characters are endless, and thankfully there's a legend in the back.

Nowadays the comic is slightly more straightforward slice-of-life, but back in the day it got pretty crazy, mixing goofy-gorgeous Mexican punk-rock girls up with space rocket mechanics, aliens, dinosaurs, and lucha libre. That's the Love and Rockets you get in this compilation: for our not-always-so-fearless heroine Maggie Chascarillo, flying a hover-scooter to fix a spaceship, fighting a dinosaur, contracting a voodoo jungle illness, getting kidnapped by a mysterious secret agent lover man, and dancing drunk on a table, are all in a day's work. What a woman!



No but seriously, it's all a mash-up of short unbelievable stories that veer into wild fun fantasy (and just a little bit of cheesecake, for the... ladies?) while still centering around some of the coolest and most real kids you'll ever meet in a book, comic or otherwise. Enid Coleslaw only wishes she could hang with Maggie and Hopey.

Love and Rockets does cater to a certain kind of pop culture, but if the Klosterman type was more your speed, then the fun summer comic for you is Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series. The basic story can be summed up thusly: what if life was like an old Nintendo game? This is what Scott Pilgrim, our intrepid Canadian slacker bass-player hero, is faced with when he falls for the love of his dreams, feisty American Ramona Flowers. At first it's all awkward romance and vegan cooking, but the action doesn't stop once the first of Ramona's Seven Evil Ex-Boyfriend Bosses descends upon Scott with his zombie army for an all-out battle. Meanwhile, there's Scott's crazy underaged Chinese ex-girlfriend Knives to deal with, and will his band Sex Bob-Omb ever be more successful than The Clash at Demonhead, the Blood Brothers-esque art trio of the girl who stomped all over his heart like a Koopa Troopa? The odds are stacked against them all, but with a little faith and some extra power-ups, they just might make it.



Suffice it to say, it's a really dorky story, but the sheer amount of scenester parody and video game culture packed into each page keep it pretty hilarious and fun, and the illustrations are adorable. There are three pocket-manga-sized books out so far, and I believe three more on the way. I can't wait.

Wow. Between the two of us, you all are going to be kept busy well into September. Anything sound good? Or, better yet, anything already on your list sound better? I've already read all these ones, after all, and am scrambling for a reading list of my own! At any rate, happy incoming summer, and happy reading! And don't forget to wear sunscreen! Nobody likes a boiled lobster.

Secret Photoshop Agent and resident Fashion Icon Zoetica often has the staff at SGHQ asking, "What's Zo Wearing?" Her unique and eccentric style is a rallying call to those who suffer from mainstream malaise. Each week, she tells us how she's combined ordinary items to create her extraordinary look. Undaunted by unusual combinations, "What's Zo Wearing" is SG's answer to middle-of-the-road makeover shows.






















When Los Angeles is ablaze every other week and the city itself is too much to take, Moo and I enjoy an occasional stroll along rooftops. We exchange anecdotes about cosmos, have afternoon tea and discuss important issues. Sometimes I chew on her head a little.

Usually you'll see me wielding some form of protection from the sun such as a paper or linen parasol, but I'd forgotten it this day. Perhaps against better judgement, I stay away from open-toed shoes most of the time, compensating for it with short skirts/dresses, lack of sleeves and staying indoors whenever humanly possible. One can never be too careful with footwear though -- these days a rocket could suddenly land on your foot, spikes might shoot up from the ground, the need to run across burning coals or broken glass could arise. NOTHING IS SAFE. Except Moo's delicious head.

Ventilation is everything in 95+ degree hell, especially for those of us tenaciously refusing to sacrifice fashion for function entirely. In case I haven't made myself clear in the past; I prefer jacket weather.

Dress: H&M
Socks: SockDreams.com
Extra super long leg warmers: SockDreams.com
Space shoes: Demonia
Bracelets: Claire's, I believe

Zoetica Ebb is a painter, SG style technician, make up artist, alt. model, photgrapher & occasional cosmonomad. She feels that Laika should be sanctified. For further details, visit Zoetica's member page, or her portfolio website, BioRequiem.

The summer movie season is like a four month-long holiday for film freaks like myself. This is the time when Hollywood is banking on to make the bulk of their boxoffice for the year. The stakes are as high for the studios, as it is for an individual taking a trip to the theater.

In the interests of providing guidance through the maze of the multiplex, I've provided this handy guide to the films opening this weekend through August. (NOTE: Release dates are subject to change as well as opinons, so you have been warned.)


Opening May 4
Spider-Man 3
The studio says… The crime-fighting wall-crawler dons a powerful new suit and battles two of the most feared villains yet, Sandman and Venom.
Here’s the deal… Yes, the Spider-Man film series is beginning to feel a little like the James Bond movies -- it's the same every time. But this one raises the stakes with the best action of the three and the best special effects in any super-hero film ever. And Emo-Peter Parker is hysterical.
Verdict... Do not miss this -- see it in the theater!

Lucky You
The studio says… Eric Bana stars as a high-stakes card player who sets out to win the World Series of Poker--and the affections of Drew Barrymore.
Here’s the deal… This movie is being sacrificed by the studio going head-to-head with Spidey. Maybe they forgot to release this in February where other films of this type reside.
Verdict... Pass. Not seeing this movie will still guarantee that your life is complete.

Away From Her
The studio says… A married couple's idyllic retirement is permanently disrupted when they must cope with the onset of Alzheimer's disease.
Here’s the deal… This family drama from Canadian actress/director Sarah Polley debuted at this past Sundance. It's a heartfelt drama and worthwhile. Just try to hold back the tears.
Verdict... See it when it hits cable.

Civic Duty
The studio says… An accountant obsessed with terrorist plots and cable news gets a jolt when a Muslim graduate student moves in next door. (In limited release.)
Here’s the deal… It still might be too soon for this. Audiences have rejected even the big studio 9/11-terrorist films as being too depressing to even think about.
Verdict... Tivo it when it hits cable.

The Flying Scotsman
The studio says… The true story of celebrated Scottish cyclist Graeme Obree, who broke the world one-hour record on a bike of his own design. (In limited release.)
Here’s the deal… Um. Never heard of this. Is it too late to see Spider-Man 3 again?
Verdict... DVD. Or not.

Opening May 11

28 Weeks Later
The studio says… Six months after the rage virus wiped out London, the city rebuilds and re-populates...but the virus is still alive, and deadlier than ever.
Here’s the deal… No Cillian Murphy or Naomie Harris reprising their roles and Danny Boyle did not direct the second installment of the re-invented zombie movie 28 Days Later. At the helm is Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, who has not directed a film since 2001 with a feature did called Intact. Question: Was the first film a big enough hit to warrant a sequel? The original made 43 million at the boxoffice, so is there enough demand for a sequel? This does not matter -- the story is epic and the zombie action disgusting like I know you like it.
Verdict... Don't miss this one in the theater.

The Ex
The studio says… An underachiever (Zach Braff) must take a job when his pregnant wife (Amanda Peet) quits her high-pressure, big salary career.
Here’s the deal… Um, is Zach Braff really a romantic comedy star? Really? Cute, it's not offensive, you're not liable to love it or hate it which means... not really sure if I care enough to feel strongly one way or another.
Verdict... Must-see on cable.

Delta Farce
The studio says… Three hapless guys are mistaken for Army Reservists, loaded onto a plane to Iraq, and accidentally ejected somewhere over Mexico.
Here’s the deal… Time + Tragedy = Comedy! Or one would hope. If you're ready to laugh at a comedy dealing with the Iraq war, then I am too.
Verdict... See it at the drive-in. That is, if you can find one.

Blind Dating
The studio says… A young blind man signs up for a dangerous experimental procedure to restore his vision... and falls in love with this nurse.
Here’s the deal… Love the pitch... the film... not so much.
Verdict... Skip it.

Georgia Rule
The studio says… Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman and Jane Fonda star as three generations of women who learn about the true ties that bind.
Here’s the deal… Lindsay Lohan. Felicity Huffman. Jane Fonda. I'm so not there.
Verdict... Look for the special edition DVD before the summer ends... in landfills soon.

Home of the Brave
The studio says… Three soldiers who return home after a lengthy tour in Iraq find that re-entering "normal" life after war is not an easy task. (In limited release.)
Here’s the deal… Jessica Biel is amazing as a vet who has lost her hand. Terrific. But is this what we want in a summer movie?
Verdict... See it on cable.

The Hip Hop Project
The studio says… Documents a group of New York City teenagers who transform their life stories into powerful works of art, using hip hop. (In limited release.)
Here’s the deal… Just like vegetables are part of a balanced diet, so it goes for documentaries, an essential part of a moviegoers' good breakfast. And this music doc will please both fans and non-fans of hip hop.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Opening May 18
Shrek the Third
The studio says… When Shrek married Fiona, the last thing he wanted was to rule Far Far Away, but when his frogger-in-law, King Harold, suddenly croaks, Shrek is quickly fitted for the crown.
Here’s the deal… Third time's the charm... or not?
Verdict... Catch a bargain matinee with an enthusiastic group of kids.

Even Money
The studio says… Three intertwining stories of people whose lives are shattered by gambling and addiction.
Here’s the deal… Danny DeVito and Kim Basinger star in a film that almost no one knows anything about including me. There's a movie coming out this summer called Even Money?
Verdict... Jury's out.

The Wendell Baker Story
The studio says… A good-hearted ex-con goes straight and gets a job in a retirement hotel, where a trio of retired residents help him win back his girl and battle the hotel corruption led by the head nurse.
Here’s the deal… This indie with Owen Wilson and Eva Mendes along with Will Ferrell (that Will Ferrell's so hot right now) could break out as a sleeper hit.
Verdict... Catch it at the theater or on cable or on DVD.

Opening May 25

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
The studio says… Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are allied with Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from his mind-bending trap in Davy Jones' locker, while the terrifying ghost ship, The Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones, under the control of the East India Trading Company, wreaks havoc across the Seven Seas.
Here’s the deal… At nearly three hours long, the conclusion of the Pirates trilogy will pack them in and provide a fun time for all. Johnny Depp has created a classic character in Jack Sparrow and the effects alone make this worth seeing.
Verdict... See it in the theater, but get an aisle seat for trips to the bathroom. This movie is looooooooooong.

Bug
The studio says… A lonely waitress with a tragic past, Agnes rooms in a run-down motel, living in fear of her abusive, recently paroled ex-husband. But when Agnes begins a tentative romance with Peter, an eccentric, nervous drifter, she starts to feel hopeful again--until the first bugs arrive.
Here’s the deal… Ashley Judd heads up the cast... so you already know how this one ends.
Verdict... Cable.

Opening June 1
Knocked Up
The studio says… Allison Scott is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby's father, Allison decides to give the lovable doof a chance.
Here’s the deal… The funniest film of the year from Judd Apatow and the team that brought us the 40 Year-Old Virgin. They've done it again by mixing crude humor with real people for a perfect blend of comedy and drama.
Verdict... See it in a crowded theater. Twice. The laughs will drown out a lot of the jokes.

Mr. Brooks
The studio says… Consider Mr. Brooks: a successful businessman; a generous philanthropist; a loving father and devoted husband. Seemingly, he's perfect. But Mr. Brooks has a secret--he is an insatiable serial killer, so lethally clever that no one has ever suspected him--until now.
Here’s the deal… Kevin Costner and Demi Moore. Together. In a movie. Hmmm...
Verdict... Skip it.

Crazy Love
The studio says… Linda Riss ends a year long affair with a married Burt Pugach, who seeks revenge by hiring a man to throw acid in Linda's face and blind her. Burt gets sent to jail for 14 years, divorces his wife and marries Linda.
Here’s the deal… This Sundance doc was a hit at the festival and the story will shock you. A fantastic documentary that is as gruesome as it is romantic.
Verdict... See this doc in the theater.

Day Watch
The studio says… A horror tale set in contemporary Moscow that revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness--the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides. This ancient war between the forces of Light and Darkness is reaching a tragic outcome.
Here’s the deal… This one is flying under the radar, but the trailer alone makes this look like either the coolest effects movie ever or a great video game.
Verdict... See it in the theater or on DVD if you really prefer.

Gracie
The studio says… Set in 1978, a teenage girl overcomes the loss of her brother and fights the odds to achieve her dream of playing competitive soccer at a time when girls' soccer did not exist.
Here’s the deal… The PG-13 for brief sexual content sounds interesting, but the subject is... well. You decide.
Verdict... DVD.

Opening June 8
Ocean's Thirteen
The studio says… Reuben Tishkoff stumbles into uncharted territory when he makes the mistake of planning to build a hotel with one of Las Vegas' most hated businessman, Willy Banks. Soon thereafter, he gets cut out of the deal and ends up in the hospital with a serious hearth condition. Danny Ocean tries to help his old friend out by giving the dastardly Banks a chance to restore Reuben's share of the hotel.
Here’s the deal… The third film in the Ocean trilogy raises the stakes, of course.
Verdict... Already in my Netflix queue.

Hostel: Part II
The studio says… Three young Americans studying in Rome set off for a weekend trip when they run into a beautiful model from one of their art classes. Also on her way to an exotic destination, the gorgeous European invites the coeds to come along, assuring them they will be able to relax and rejuvenate. Will the girls find the oasis they are looking for?
Here’s the deal… The second film in the sure-to-be Hostel trilogy takes a group of women to Europe where they... you guessed it... are kidnapped and tortured. Scenes shown at recent horror conventions had audience members creeped out and disgusted, meaning they really loved it.
Verdict... See it at the drive-in. That is, if you can find one.

Opening June 15

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
The studio says… The enigmatic, intergalactic herald, the Silver Surfer, comes to Earth to prepare it for destruction. As he races around the globe wreaking havoc, Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben must unravel the mystery of the Silver Surfer and confront the surprising return of their mortal enemy, Dr. Doom, before all hope is lost.
Here’s the deal… Fanboys are screaming about the change to Galactus' character -- no longer a purple giant, he's just a killer cloud. The original was a disappointment and the second FF movie already looks like... a disappointment. At least they're consistent.
Verdict... DVD.

Nancy Drew
The studio says… Nancy Drew travels to Los Angeles with her father and stumbles upon evidence involving the long-unsolved death of a glamorous movie star. Nancy's practical nature and resourcefulness are put to the test when dealing with the self-indulgent world of Hollywood.
Here’s the deal… This is for kids. I really don't care.
Verdict... Read the novelization or get the book on tape version.

Fido
The studio says… Welcome to Willard, a small town lost in the idyllic world of the 50s, where the sun shines every day, everybody knows their neighbor, and rotting zombies deliver the mail. Years ago, the earth passed through a cloud of space dust, causing the dead to rise with a craving for human flesh. A war began, pitting the living against the dead. In the ensuing revolution, a corporation was born: ZomCon.
Here’s the deal… This Sundance film delivers an original take on zombies who are now integrated into society as helpful pets. Weird and creepy in all the right ways.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Opening June 22

Evan Almighty
The studio says… Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening newscaster, Evan Baxter, is the next one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mission--walking in the footsteps of Bruce Almighty.
Here’s the deal… Steve Carrell can do no wrong. He's funny doing nothing, and with a plot, he kills.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Broken English
The studio says… A successful New Yorker with little success at romance meets a Frenchman who sweeps her off her feet and off to Paris, inspiring her to travel as a courier with her best friend.
Here’s the deal… Parker Posey is back and she's always worth seeing.
Verdict... DVD.

A Mighty Heart
The studio says… A memoir of the life of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, who was kidnapped and murdered in Pakistan in 2002.
Here’s the deal… One question: Does Angelina Jolie get naked?
Verdict... I need an answer to my question above before I decide.

Opening June 27
Live Free or Die Hard
The studio says… On the July 4th holiday, an attack on the vulnerable United States infrastructure begins to shut down the entire nation. The mysterious figure behind the scheme has figured out every modern angle -- but he never figured on an old-school "analog" fly in the "digital" ointment: John McClane.
Here’s the deal… Advance word is not good. Does the phrase, "I'm getting too old for this shit," mean anything to you?
Verdict... DVD.

You Kill Me
The studio says… A hitman from Buffalo is sent to the West Coast to dry out. He attends AA meetings, gets a sponsor and lands a job in a mortuary, where he meets a woman who is a relative of one his hits.
Here’s the deal… Ben Kingsley, Téa Leoni and Luke Wilson have the makings of a great cast for a solid indie.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Opening June 29
Ratatouille
The studio says… A rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family's wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession. When fate places Remy in the sewers of Paris, he finds himself ideally situated beneath a restaurant made famous by his culinary hero, Auguste Gusteau.
Here’s the deal… Another CG cartoon but this one is from Brad Bird who did The Incredibles.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Evening
The studio says… A drama exploring the emotional and romantic past of Ann Grant, a 65-year-old woman with terminal cancer. Ann's children gather around to make sense of their complicated mother while she drifts back through morphine-induced memories to a brief romantic interlude in the late 1950s, perhaps the only defining moment of complete surrender and happiness in her life.
Here’s the deal… Um. Don't care. Which is sad, I know.
Verdict... See it on the Lifetime Channel.

Sicko
The studio says… Acclaimed filmmaker Michael Moore sets out to investigate the American healthcare system. Sticking to his tried-and-true one-man approach, Moore sheds light on the complicated medical affairs of individuals and local communities.
Here’s the deal… That depends -- how much do you trust Moore after so many controversies?
Verdict... See it in the theater, if only so you can bitch about it online.

Opening July 4

Transformers
The studio says… The Earth is caught in the middle of an intergalactic war between two races of robots, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, which are able to change into a variety of objects, including cars, trucks, planes and other technological creations.
Here’s the deal… Are you kidding? Is there a limit to the number of geekgasms that will spew forth from the audience. The trailers prove they nailed it and took a so-so kids show and turned it into a realistic action movie.
Verdict... Opening night!

License to Wed
The studio says… A young couple's wedding plans are interrupted when the pushy minister of the bride's family church orders the pair to complete a two-week prenup course. They must pass the class if they want to marry in his church. The groom fails the course and loses the girl but fights to win her back.
Here’s the deal… Robin Williams. So, the choice is obvious.
Verdict... Avoid at all costs.

Rescue Dawn
The studio says… Based on the true story of German-born Dieter Dengler, who dreamed of being a test pilot and thus made his way to America, where he joined the military in pursuit of his obsession to fly. On his first mission in Vietnam, he is shot down and captured by Vietcong guerrillas.
Here’s the deal… Christian Bale is always worth seeing, but mostly when he's Batman.
Verdict... DVD.

Opening July 13
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The studio says… As his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry approaches, 15-year-old Harry Potter is in full-blown adolescence, complete with regular outbursts of rage, a nearly debilitating crush, and the blooming of a powerful sense of rebellion.
Here’s the deal… Does anything I say even matter? I'll go see it.
Verdict... Opening weekend in a theater.

1408
The studio says… Adapted from the short story by Stephen King, a renowned horror novelist Mike Enslin (John Cusack) believes only in what he can see with his own two eyes. But after a string of bestsellers discrediting paranormal events in the most infamous haunted houses and graveyards around the world, he has no real proof of life - or afterlife.
Here’s the deal… This is only worth seeing because of John Cusack. The better Cusack movie is Grace is Gone for which
he will be nominated for an Oscar.
Verdict... Cable.

Talk to Me
The studio says… The telling of the real-life story of Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene, an outspoken ex-con who talked his way into becoming an iconic radio personality in the 1960s, in Washington, D.C. Sparked by both the era's vibrant soul music and exploding social consciousness, Petey openly courted controversy at a white-owned station.
Here’s the deal… I'd rather see the documentary about the subject.
Verdict... Skip it.

Opening July 20

Hairspray
The studio says… Set in Baltimore during the 1960s dance TV craze, a zaftig high school hairhopper, Tracy Turnblad, graduates from outsider to celebrity trendsetter and along the way she stars on "The Corny Collins Show," wins the heart of resident hunk Link Larkin and kicks down the barriers for black and white integration on local television.
Here’s the deal… John Travolta in drag is reason enough to see this.
Verdict... Catch a midnight show after some drinks.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
The studio says… Chuck Levine and Larry Valentine are the pride of their fire station: two guy's guys always side-by-side and willing to do anything for each other. Grateful Chuck owes Larry for saving his life in a fire, and Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his own two kids as his life insurance beneficiaries.
Here’s the deal… Adam Sandler in a comedy means that you will laugh at a fart joke eventually.
Verdict... Cable.

Goya's Ghosts
The studio says… The life and times of Spanish painter Francisco Goya, who lived from 1746-1828 and was a frequent target of the Spanish Inquisition.
Here’s the deal… Costume dramas like this one are out of place in the summer, though Natalie Portman provides plenty of eye candy.
Verdict... Cable.

Opening July 27
The Simpsons Movie
The studio says… After 18 years on the air, Springfield's favorite family finally makes it to the big screen. Homer (Dan Castellaneta), Marge (Julie Kavner), Bart (Nancy Cartwright), Lisa (Yeardley Smith) and Maggie Simpson will be there, along with regulars like Moe the bartender (Hank Azaria) and Mr. Burns (Harry Shearer).
Here’s the deal… "Worst summer movie ever" are words that will not be used to describe this film. Prepare to see Bart doing a full-frontal nude scene as the Simpsons' team pushes the limit.
Verdict... See it in the theater on opening night.

I Know Who Killed Me
The studio says… An idyllic small town is rocked when Aubrey Fleming, a bright and promising young woman, is abducted and tortured by a sadistic serial killer. When she manages to escape, the traumatized girl who regains consciousness in the hospital insists that she is not who they think she is and that the real Aubrey Fleming is still in mortal danger.
Here’s the deal… It's The Sixth Sense for kids!
Verdict... See it on DVD.

No Reservations
The studio says… A top notch female chef's life is turned upside-down when she must care of her niece after her sister is killed. She now has to adapt to a different lifestyle and uses food as a means to express her roller-coaster life.
Here’s the deal… Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart in a romantic comedy are the ingredients of something I never care to see.
Verdict... Skip it.

Opening August 1
El Cantante
The studio says… Biopic of Hector Lavoe, one of the biggest Spanish-language singers in the 1970s, but personal tragedy and a heroin addiction left him penniless and dying from complications from AIDS.
Here’s the deal… Sad, depressing, so... indie.
Verdict... Netflix it.

Opening August 3
The Bourne Ultimatum
The studio says… All he wanted was to disappear. Instead, Jason Bourne is now hunted by the people who made him what he is. Having lost his memory and the one person he loved, he is undeterred by the barrage of bullets and a new generation of highly-trained killers. Bourne has only one objective: to go back to the beginning and find out who he was.
Here’s the deal… Smart action is the best kind and this one looks to be the best of the three.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Becoming Jane
The studio says… Before becoming a famous novelist, a young Jane Austen becomes embroiled in a passionate love affair with an Irish lawyer, Tom Lefroy, that inspires her career.
Here’s the deal… If you really, really love Jane Austen, then be my guest.
Verdict... Um, I'll never see it.

Charlie Bartlett
The studio says… An eccentric teenager gains popularity by becoming the student supplier of prescription drugs. He averts a potential collision with the school superintendent by helping the educator patch up his relationship with his daughter.
Here’s the deal… A drug film? How do I get some?
Verdict... DVD.

Hot Rod
The studio says… Amateur stuntman Rod Kimble has a problem--his step-father Frank is a jerk. Frank picks on Rod, tosses him around like a rag doll in their weekly sparring sessions, and definitely doesn't respect him, much less his stunts. But when Frank falls ill, it's up to Rod to stage the jump of his life in order to save his step-father.
Here’s the deal… We'll all find out if Andy Samberg can sustain his comedy beyond an SNL short.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Resurrecting the Champ
The studio says… A homeless man claims to be the former boxing great Bob Satterfield, but turns out to be a lesser known fighter of the same era.
Here’s the deal… The sports movie will never die and this boxing film will end with a winner or a loser... which may or may not be the audience. But with a cast like Samuel L. Jackson, Josh Hartnett, Teri Hatcher and Alan Alda (Alan Alda?) this one could really lose big.
Verdict... Skip it.

The Ten
The studio says… Ten blasphemous comedic stories inspired by the Biblical Commandments. Each tale unfolds in a different style, but with characters and themes that overlap, as told by a narrator who, in turn, has his own moral problems.
Here’s the deal… Paul Rudd joins Amanda Peet, Jessica Alba, Ken Marino and Justin Theroux in a creative gamble that just might pay off.
Verdict... See it on DVD or in the theater. It's up to you.

Opening August 10
Rush Hour 3
The studio says… LAPD detective James Carter and Chinese Chief Inspector Lee travel to Paris to battle a wing of the Chinese organized crime family, the Triads.
Here’s the deal… Was anyone clamoring for this movie? Not me.
Verdict... Skip it.

Stardust
The studio says… A young man named Tristan (Charlie Cox) tries to win the heart of Victoria (Sienna Miller), the beautiful but cold object of his desire, by going on a quest to retrieve a fallen star. His journey takes him to a mysterious and forbidden land beyond the walls of his village.
Here’s the deal… Neil Gaiman's new fantasy film looks like a mixed bag from the trailer. And DeNiro in a fantasy never seems to work.
Verdict... Not sure.

Opening August 17

Superbad
The studio says… Two co-dependent high school guys want to hook up with girls before they graduate and go off to different colleges, but, after a calamitous night just trying to buy alcohol for a school party, overcoming their separation anxiety becomes a greater challenge than getting the girls.
Here’s the deal… A badass high school comedy that is pee-your-pants funny. Sorry about the smell.
Verdict... See it in the theater.

Wedding Daze
The studio says… American Pie's Jason Biggs stars as a man recovering form the death of his girlfriend in this wild comedy feature. Biggs's character asks a beautiful woman to marry him in an act of spontaneity and, much to his surprise, she agrees.
Here’s the deal… The American Pie films ran out of steam awhile ago and this one looks like it has even less steam.
Verdict... Look for the direct to DVD sequel which is probably already in the works.

The Invasion
The studio says… When a mysterious alien infection spreads like an epidemic over the entire country, a woman fights to save her own life and the life of her son, who may hold the key to stopping the takeover.
Here’s the deal… Reshoots have kept this Nicole Kidman film on the shelf for awhile, which is never a good sign.
Verdict... DVD.

Opening August 24
The Comebacks
The studio says… A comedy that spoofs the story of an out-of-luck coach, Lambeau Fields, who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. In the process, of course, this life-long loser discovers that he is a winner after all--redeeming himself, saving his relationship with his family and friends, and finds that there is indeed, no "I" in "team"!
Here’s the deal… Sports-comedies are hot, so your liking it is irrelevant, the victory of this film is pre-ordained.
Verdict... Cable.

Good Luck Chuck
The studio says… A man breaks up with his long-time girlfriend only to see her get engaged to the next guy she dates. The same pattern occurs with his next girlfriend, and continues to repeat. All of a sudden he finds himself becoming a lucky charm for women, who all want to date him.
Here’s the deal… Jessica Alba + Dane Cook = Comedy Genius/Hotness X Possible Bomb.
Verdict... Pay per view special at $1.99.

The Hottest State
The studio says… William is a good-looking young actor. He may be vain and cocky, but his doubt manifests itself in endearing self-criticism. Sarah is a beautiful singer-songwriter. Coincidence and a divinely wintry day bring them together and they begin a fevered, fitful romance.
Here’s the deal… This may be the only place you'll hear anything about this small indie worth a look.
Verdict... Cable.

Opening August 31

Halloween
The studio says… A new take on the legend and a new chapter in the Michael Myers "Halloween" saga.
Here’s the deal… Rob Zombie takes over the duties behind the camera and the franchise could not be in more capable hands. this re-invention is sure to please old fans and create new ones with a high body count and a fresh take.
Verdict... See it at the drive-in, the best place to see a horror film.

Now it's your tur - what films are you looking forward to most this summer? Which do you plan to see in the theater or wait for on DVD? And what about the summer of 2008, which will bring us Batman: The Dark Knight with Heath Ledger as the Joker, Ed Norton as the ever-lovin' Hulk, the Wachowski Brothers returning to direct Speed Racer, Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man and Indiana Jones part IV? These questions and more will be addressed in your comments.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker and the creator of Film Threat. During sunny summer days, he can be found in a dark theater avoiding a tan.

The heart of the entertainment business is in Los Angeles where movie-going is not just a habit, but a religion. Today’s movie theaters are facing perhaps their greatest threat ever – your living room. As big screen HD TVs and surround sound systems become more common combined with DVDs of major releases hitting shelves within months of their theatrical runs, seeing a movie at home makes sense. In fact, a home theater is something even the average family can realistically afford. However, no 5.1 sound system or theater-buttered popcorn or authentic theater seats can replace a wildly enthusiastic (yet respectful) audience. It is the audience itself that makes the difference – sharing the thrills, the cheers and the tears with hundreds of strangers in a communal experience that is totally unique.
It should surprise no one that LA and its surrounding areas are home to some of the best movie theaters in the country.

The following recommendations provide not only state of the art projection and sound, but an undefinable mystique that make them the best places to go see a movie in Los Angeles, for both locals and visitors.

1. Arclight Hollywood
6360 Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-464-4226
The ArcLight is a church where film fanatics come to worship. This theater may have been designed for film snobs, but it comes without the film elitism one would expect, just higher ticket prices to keep out the riff raff. ($14 bucks, which isn’t that bad.) And if you get your ArcLight card, your loyalty will earn free tickets and popcorn, balancing out the higher prices. The ArcLight is home to the Cinerama Dome, one of the largest screens in the city. In addition to superior projection and sound, the seating is assigned which means you can show up one minute before the lights dim and still have the best seat in the house even on a crowded Saturday night. I recommend showing up early, buying your tickets in advance, then grabbing drinks, dinner or appetizers in the restaurant located in the theater – your waiter will even take note of your screening time and get you to the movie without missing the trailers. Best yet, look for films playing at the “Black Box” theater – this screen is over 21 and features a full bar so you can see your favorites with your favorite adult beverage without having to sneak in the liquor. The ArcLight store contains the best of pop culture kitsch from books, t-shirts, magazines and plenty of unnecessaries to complete your gift-giving list. Across from indoor store you’ll see prop or costume displays for films currently playing, so you can marvel at original costumes and weaponry right up close. This is also the theater where filmmakers and celebrities of all kinds come to see films, their own and their peers. On a busy weekend, you’ll see stars not just on the screen, but probably in the seat next to you, so if you care about celebrity spotting, this is your place. The architecture is breathtaking and upon entering the lobby you’ll discover the best part – the vibe. You’ll feel as if you’ve gotten behind the velvet ropes of the hottest club and entered movie paradise. It’s that cool.

2. Mann's Chinese Theater
6925 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-464-8111
The Chinese is a classic venue that is firmly a part of Hollywood history. Not just a movie theater, but a major tourist attraction with the hands and feet of major stars forever preserved in cement outside the venue. Where else can you compare your shoe size to that of Jack Nicholson or Darth Vader? The screen for the main theater is enormous and considering that films like Star Wars opened there on May 25th, 1977, it’s no wonder that the Chinese has become something of a pilgrimage for movie maniacs all over the world.
And don’t forget, that the Mann Chinese 6, a notable multiplex, located just upstairs from the classic.

3. Pacific Vineland Drive-In
443 North Vineland, City of Industry, CA 91715. Call 626-9619262
It’s like tailgating with movies! The only drive-in left in southern California boasts four screens of entertainment showing two movies each. Best yet, it’s very affordable as tickets are only $7 each, and that’s for two films. (Kids under 12 are free.) On weekends each screen has three showings, repeating the first film in the third slot (for example, shows are 8 PM, 10 PM and midnight), so if you’re smart, you can see three films for dirt cheap! Bring in your own refreshments and save a bundle, and you can fill that cooler with whatever you want. (I like beer myself. Uh, light beer.) For old times sake, sneak a friend in for free as he hides in the trunk. Make it a party by bringing all your tailgating supplies and don’t forget the lawn chairs with those convenient cup holders. The drive-in experience is quickly becoming lost to a generation, so you owe it to yourself to visit the Vineland.

4. Laemmle’s Sunset 5
8000 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Call 323-848-3500
This arthouse venue screens films you would not see at any other theater. Films in limited release or hot off the festival circuit find a home at the Sunset 5. The filmmakers themselves will often attend the screenings, engaging in impromptu question and answer sessions. Once the film is over, you can enjoy all that Sunset Boulevard has to offer, and best yet, your parking is already validated.

5. Pacific Theatres at The Grove
189 The Grove Dr., Los Angeles, CA 90036. Call 323-692-0829
A gorgeous theater with stadium seating throughout located in a trendy outdoor shopping mall that even has a Mac store. Grab a bite at any of the fine restaurants before catching a film and you might even get to enjoy a free concert in the courtyard just outside the theater. The Grove also has something unique: self serve refreshments making lines move faster--and you can fill up your drinks as much as you’d like.

6. Mann Village Theatre
961 Broxton Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90024. Call 310-208-5576
The Village is set to become a future piece of entertainment industry history as the venue plays host to some of the biggest red carpet premieres in Hollywood. (However, this theater is technically located in Westwood.) A Saturday night screening at the Village attracts a dedicated audience of film freaks, so much so that the studios will use the venue as a place to test out reactions to new movie trailers. The enormous screen will have you looking for a seat in the balcony just to take it all in.

7. El Capitan
6838 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles CA 90028. Call 323-467-7674
Owned by Disney, you’ll see all the latest releases here from the Mouse presented in a classic movie theater setting. Ticket prices are a little higher here, but worth it for the pre-show organ extravaganza – be sure to show up early so you don’t miss this musical treat. And no theater in LA has a curtain that opens quite as fabulously as this one –those sparkles will blind you. Many props from the film are on display as this is where Disney holds all of their red carpet premieres. Afterwards you can visit the Disney store there for the latest hard-to-find merchandise. Some films are even accompanied by interactive displays designed for kids to experience aspects of the film they’ve just seen live. These are hosted right next door and sometimes require a separate admission fee.

8. Egyptian Theatre
6712 Hollywood Boulevard, Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-466-3456
This completely restored classic theater from old Hollywood is home to the American Cinematheque, a program of unique independent films, foreign cinema and the best from film festivals. Many of the programs include conversations with world renowned filmmakers themselves, even George Lucas spoke there. The venue feels as if one has entered a palace from another time adding a magical ambience one won’t find anywhere.

9. Laemmle’s Playhouse 7
673 East Colorado Boulevard, Pasadena, CA 91101. Call 626-844-6500
Arthouse film buffs have seven screens to choose from offering the latest in highbrow cinema. Grab a coffee in the lobby and prepare to see films that are hard to find at any other theater. Located on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena, it’s a brisk walk to old town to experience the nightlife there with some of the best bars and restaurants just outside of LA.

10. Vista
4473 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90027. Call 323-660-6639
Another classic theater that, while in need of restoration, retains all its former glory in remaining unchanged. This is how they used to screen films in that golden age of movies and you can experience it today, just as audience’s did back then. Located in the Los Feliz area, the Vista is a short walk to bars and restaurants like the famous Dresden Room, seen in the film Swingers with Jon Favreau.

Arthouses in LA Worth Checkin' Out

Nuart Theatre
11272 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90025. Call 310-281-8223
This old standby has healthy treats along with the best from the festival circuit.

Rialto
1023 Fair Oaks Ave., South Pasadena, CA 91030. Call 626-388-2122
Keep an eye on the schedule for an impressive retrospective program and midnight movies like the original Planet of the Apes.

Regent Showcase
614 North LaBrea, Los Angeles, CA 90036. Call 323-934-2944
This single screen venue focuses on the basics – bringing the best of the arthouse circuit to an appreciative audience.

Chris Gore’s Garage
By invitation only.
Yes, I have an amazing set up in my garage. But tickets come at a steep price – you have to be a friend of mine.

Okay, so now it's your turn. Tell me about your favorite movie theaters in your neck of the woods. Post 'em in the comments and then I'll know where to see flicks when I travel to your town.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and in his spare time, protects the city of Los Angeles as a crime-fighting masked vigilante.

Okay, after reading review after review of Superman Returns with critics heaping praise generally reserved for Oscar-worthy films, I have to tell you that I am not drinking that kool-aid. Honestly, I was not impressed. I really wanted to like it, but when I saw Bryan Singer’s interpretation of the boy in the blue tights, I felt like writing my own piece Lois Lane-style titled, “Why the World Does Not Need a Superman Remake.” There are so many moments lifted from the original that Singer might consider sending a residual check to Richard Donner.

But, who am I kidding? I mean, did I really expect any originality from the summer movies? That’s crazy talk! In fact, this has been a summer movie season filled with disappointments from the Hollywood blockbuster factory.

The really satisfying movies are not at the multiplex, and they require a little more effort to discover, so let me suggest some viable alternatives.

In Theaters
Okay, so there is one film I’m going to suggest you head to the multiplex to see, and it’s my pick so for the best of the summer. Kevin Smith has outdone himself with Clerks 2. What’s going to surprise a lot of people is that underneath the talk about ass-to-mouth, the geeky conversations, the S&M-inspired donkey show, not to mention the vile humor, there’s actually a heart to this film. It’s one of the best dick flicks ever. Uh, y’know, a chick flick for guys.

At the Drive-In
Okay, we all know that Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is not a good movie. In fact, it’s cliché and filled with dialog that, if spoken aloud in any social situation, would make someone laugh at you… but this movie knows that. So, what better place to view this modern turd than at a drive-in? Yes, seeing a movie about car racing while sitting in a car is just too cool an opportunity to pass up. (I promise to fill you in on my drive-in movie secrets in an upcoming column.)

In Theaters in Limited Release
An Inconvenient Truth is Al Gore’s personal rant about the coming global warming crisis. The depressing part is discovering through his fascinating lecture/performance that it’s not coming – it’s here. Now! So, if you’re like me and you get really upset about life’s tiny little obstacles, see this movie. I always find it uplifting to learn about something even more horrifyingly depressing than my own life as a way to offset those dark thoughts. This film also has the added benefit of making you feel smart just for having seen it…. which is a lot more than I can say about X-Men 3.


At Film Festivals
Artie Lang’s Beer League played to two sold-out crowds at the CineVegas Film Festival recently and audiences peed themselves with laughter. Seriously. Puddles of urine everywhere. In the tradition of sports movies like Caddyshack, North Dallas Forty and Slap Shot, the best way to describe it is, well, if the kids from the Bad News Bears grew up and got drunk on weekends and played softball, then that would be Beer League. But, come to think of it, didn’t the kids in Bad News Bears drink beer too? If you’re lucky enough to find this on the fest circuit, remember to sneak in some cans of beer, here’s how I usually do it. (See illustration below.)


DVD
Tommy Wiseau is America’s next great actor… well, maybe in some bizarre world where acting really sucks. His feature drama The Room has been playing midnights at the Sunset Laemmle 5 in Los Angeles to fits of laughter as dedicated audiences attempt to turn this piece of dreck into the next Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s so bad it’s that good. If you don’t believe me, check out these clips on YouTube. You’ll be quoting this film to your pals who will quickly respond with WTF-looks on their faces. “Oh, hi Mark.” That’s a good time to pull out this DVD and preach the gospel of Tommy Wiseau.


Bootleg
Okay, if the return of Supes has you under-whelmed, why not check out this bizarre alternative Superman epic from Turkey? I’ve long been a fan of Turkish Cinema, which is an experience unto itself. Basically these foreign filmmakers take all the the special effects footage and action sequences from American movies and then reshoot those scenes to include their own native Turkish actors. The result… hilarity ensues. But be prepared. The Turkish Superman (AKA Superman Donuyor) is far more cruel than his American counterpart as our hero smacks around the bad guys, forces one man off a bridge backwards and even kills a few people. It’s a must-see bootleg video, that is, if you can find it. (I’ll fill you in on my Turkish Cinema Expose in an upcoming column. Now you have to read this every single week.)

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and in his spare time, protects the city of Los Angeles as a crime-fighting masked vigilante.