Little Wizard Needs Food...BADLY
A pair of chaotic evil gamers named Michael and Iana Straw have plead guilty to child neglect after failing to stop playing Dungeons & Dragons Online to feed their two young children.
The children of Michael and Iana Straw, a boy age 22 months and a girl age 11 months, were severely malnourished and near death last month when doctors saw them after social workers took them to a hospital, authorities said. Both children are doing well and gaining weight in foster care, prosecutor Kelli Ann Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal.
Now, I'm no DM but I would wager their actions will certainly result in an alignment change and or a loss of level or Paladin status. Oh, and jail. I find this an especially odd story because I've never heard of hardcore gamers that didnt have a treasure hoard of delicious snacks within an arm's flop of the keyboard...
They had food, they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games.
Oh, well that explains that.
I knew they had food though. The only remaining mystery is where did the pair get all the gold pieces come from to pay for the high speed internet?
Michael Straw is an unemployed cashier, and his wife worked for a temporary staffing agency doing warehouse work, according to court records. He received a $50,000 inheritance that he spent on computer equipment and a large plasma television, authorities said.
I guess somewhere in the orgy of spending and gaming there was some actual, real-life sexual contact becuase the two dumb asses rolled-up a couple of new human characters. Frankly, those two babies are off on a quest to a better place.
Why couldnt it have been World of Warcraft? Or meth? Dungeons and Dragons needed this PR hit like a prismatic spray to the face.
Since Gary Gygax conjured up a turn-based role playing game and published it through his company, TSR his wonderful game has been called everything from satanic to brainwashing.
For now, their vile campaign is at an end. Ogres Michael and Iana, hand in your character sheets: your're done. You face the maximum banishment of a dozen years in one of Nevada's dungeons. The couple are imprisoned in a soul trap where inmates that harm children are preyed upon at every turn. Their two younglings are doing well and putting on weight in foster care.
Finally, some in the media will take this incident as an opportunity to beat up video games...but I have another axe to grind. I would like to point out that this could never have happened if they were playing D & D like God intended - with a pencil, character sheet, painted figurine, and bags of doritos and dice. There's just no way that you could assemble an entire campaign of such heartless souls that would play through the cries of hungry babies. That's why we pick up swords in the first place. To smite such evil.
